March 17, 2010
Cats, Dogs, Dating and Einstein
Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results, was a sign of insanity. Well kids, if that is the case, then I am the honorary Mayor of Insanityville. At what point am I going to start paying attention, and doing things differently? Is it time for a dating reality check?
I date the same type of men, over and over again. Each time my heart is broken, I vow to date outside of my historical choices, but it is short lived, and I’m right back on the A-Train to Crazyland. Do we even have the capability to retrain our minds to search for something different?
Yesterday I was with my friend Tom, and we were chatting about my dating life. We tend to do that a lot. By chatting, of course I mean, I tell him about my pathetic state of affairs, he feels bad for me, tells me it will be fine, then thanks the heavens he is not single, and kisses his wife.
He generally has good insight, and on rare occasions gives advice I actually listen to. By listen to, of course I mean I hear what he is saying, try to do it, never quite get it done, then blame him for it not going well, only to have him break me down and admit that I never took the advice to begin with. This is our pattern. One I should perhaps change, by actually doing what he suggests.
Tom’s latest theory on my dating life, is that I keep dating men who are cats, not men who are dogs. Let me just say, I am a little concerned. Not for Tom, who clearly has lost his mind, but for me, because I think he might be on to something.
Tom loves his dog. Really loves her. The dog is cute, and is clearly in love with Tom. To see the pride he has in his dog, you would think he had given birth to it himself. I see a plain little black dog, and Tom sees a member of his family, that he would carry for miles across a desert, to get water. It’s charming how much he loves this animal.
I love my cat. Really love her. She is gorgeous, and clearly in love with me. To hear me talk to her, you would think I was having a conversation with my best friend. Others may see a little grey cat, but I see a member of my family, that I would carry around in a baby carrier if I could. Important to note that I totally get how crazy that sounds. Thanks for checking.
Tom thinks the problem I am having with dating, is that I date men who are like cats. They are somewhat aloof and indifferent. They are very sexy and sleek, but affectionate only when it suits them. They purr, which gives me a false sense of security, and can go days without any contact.
If I dated a man who was more like a dog, he would want to spend every moment with me, and would make it very clear that we are together. He would be loyal, and spend a lot of time learning new tricks to impress me. He would lead the way, and I would not need to always be looking for him.
Is it just me, or does this actually make sense? Have I been spending too much time with men who are pussies, instead of seeking out an alpha dog? Instead of cuddling up to a cat, maybe I need to walk around with a big, strong, aggressive and dominating dog.
I am loyal and fun, which makes me more like a dog than a cat. Maybe the trick is to simply date my own kind. The answer may lie in not trying to be the boss, but instead grabbing a leash. I better not think about it too much, as this analogy could quickly turn, and take on a whole new meaning. Just saying.
Between Tom and Einstein, I just might be able to get it together, change patterns, and find love. I will talk it over with my cat, and see what she thinks. Just kidding! (Not Really.) At the end of the day, maybe all I need to do is take a trip to the dog park. Will I find love with Fido? Perhaps, if I keep the faith.