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December 28, 2009

Canadian Dating

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/canadian_dating_20091228/

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Dating is hard and in LA there are elements that I think may be harder than in other cities, but overall, regardless of where you live, it’s hard.  For some reason however, I always thought it would be easier at home in Canada.  I have long believed that if I still lived in Canada I would be re-married by now to a “regular” guy. 

I love Canada and have hung on to a trace of an accent even though I’ve been in the States for almost 20 years.  I love Canadian men.  Granted the majority of my dating life has been spent in Los Angeles, I like Canadian men and when I come across one here, it makes me happy.  There is something authentic about being a Canadian.

Last night I reconnected with my friend Cheryl from high school in Toronto.  I found her on Facebook, sent her a message and within 5 minutes we were on the phone and talked forever.  It was as if I had just been with her for dinner and time stood still and we were teenagers again. 

She is a hilarious and straightforward girl and I love her.  We have great memories together and it’s a joy to have her back in my life.  I moved away, got married, had a baby, got divorced and life happened. We lost touch for no real reason.

We caught up on each other’s lives and got to talking about dating.  She’s not been married, YET, but is dating, having ended a relationship a while back.  I mentioned to her that I thought dating must be easier in Toronto because Canadian men are so great.

We are the same age and date the same type of men and so I was waiting to hear about how great her dating life is and well, not so much.  She met a guy recently who was lovely.  They went out for coffee and it was great. They hung out for a long time and had a wonderful kiss tonight.

He calls the next day and asks her to a movie and she is excited because this is just how it should be.  No games.  You meet, there’s a connection, you go out again.  She gets to the theater and he has selected a foriegn art film with subtitles.  Interesting selection.

They get up to the cashier and he orders one ticket.  Fine.  She buys her own ticket and they go in.  They get seats and once settled in, he pulls a soda can out of his pocket and gives it to her, then cracks one open for himself, and the movie starts.

The movie is impossible to follow and of no interest to Cheryl but she sticks it out.  After the movie he notices that she did not drink her soda so he took it and put it back in his pocket.  He walks her to the car, another great kiss and then nothing.  She does not hear from him again.

Really?  I get that movies are expensive and dating can be costly for men but this was just weird.  I’d rather a man say he’s tight on cash and ask me to go dutch than just surprise me.  What if she didn’t have any money with her? 

I will never understand how dating works and why men do what they do and say what they say.  This whole time I kept telling myself my nightmare dates were because I was in Los Angeles but the truth is that dating is dating no matter where you are.

Men are men, Canadian or not, and maybe at 43 I am finally ready to stop trying to figure them out and just hope that I meet one that is a little more evolved than the rest.  He does not need to be from Canada as long as he knows where it is.

I love my friend Cheryl and am so happy to have found her after all this time.  I look forward to seeing her again and creating new memories.  It was worth it to have my “Canadian Dream Man” bubble shattered, in order to have her back. 

I hope she meets someone wonderful to share her life with and whoever that man is, he will be very lucky.  We are both single and searching and I look forward to sharing our dating experiences together and having a front row seat to dating in Canada. 

At the end of the day, no matter where you live, when it comes to dealing with men, women need cross their fingers, hope for the best, always have cash and remember to keep the faith.

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