Jewish Journal


January 3, 2011

Brad Womack is Back as The Bachelor & He is Lame. Again.



Brad "Dufus" Womack

The Bachelor is back on the air for yet another season.  I love this show.  I love the idea of this show.  I love the possibility that love can be found.  I have been a fan for a long time and while there have been some serious duds since the heyday of Trista and Ryan, this season is going to take the cake.

Brad Womack is moronic and I do not believe anything he says.  He is a whiner and is coming across so very fake that in the first ten minutes I am laughing at everything he says.  He makes my lower back hurt and I find myself longing for the good old days with Jake.

I found it much more entertaining to watch a gay bachelor in denial, Jake, over the dimwitted Brad.  He says he cannot find love because his father let him down and his intense therapy is what is going to allow him to find love and get married.  This is a blogger’s dream.

I love reality television and I believe in love. Brad’s second season will do more than test my belief in love.  It will make me believe in karma.  It would appear that my darling Mr. Mike Fleiss is punishing Brad for being a putz by giving him some odd chicks which I love.

Brad gets out of the car and I am overwhelmed by how annoying he is.  For the first time since the series started, Chris Harrison also annoying.  He feeds words to Brad and it’s all so fake.  He used to ask what we all wanted to know but now not so much anymore.

Brad talks about how much therapy he’s been in.  He should have perhaps spent less time at head therapy and more at speech therapy because he is inarticulate.  He is talking all kinds of smack about his dad and regardless of what the issues there are, it’s gross.

Selling his dad down the river in order to somehow justify his getting another chance on this show is pathetic.  He is a Dufus and I am watching this show for one reason and one reason only.  TRAIN WRECK.  I am not investing in this season for a happily ever after, which is unlikely.

Chris lets Dufus know the two chicks he dumped 3 years ago are there to talk to him.  Deanna and Jenny are brought in and it’s so gross I want to start self-medicating.  He is apologetic but it’s not believable.  It’s sad these two ladies come back at all.  Why do they care?

Here is a quick guide to the “Ladies”:

Ashley H.: dentist, great teeth, a little weird
Shawntell: funeral director, not a chance in hell
Ashley: lost her dad, very sweet, too good for Brad
Chantal: slaps him, divorced, stuck up
Michelle: Oh. My. God.  Whack job, needs to be on meds
Raichel:  Super cute, he will dump her quickly
Megan: not too bright, horrible shoes
Madison: model and vampire. translation: hooker and freak.
Emily: I love this girl and want her to be the next Bachelorette
Lacey:  Whatever, she gets the boot
Marissa:  He digs her
Kimberly: cute girl, bad dress
Alli: needs a bra, believes in 2nd chances
Britnee: Not going to happen, she gets the boot
Lindsay:  Forgettable
Melissa:  “Didn’t watch his season” blah, blah, blah
Renee:  Who? she gets the boot
Cristy: Huge mouth, huge ass, she gets the boot.
Jackie: “Pinky swear you won’t break my heart.“ Seriously?
Sarah P.:  Best entrance, down on one knee, love her
Lauren:  Like her, she gets the boot
Lisa P.: Dumb, she gets the boot
Stacey: Smoking hot, total liar
Jill:  Amazon, she gets the boot
Lisa M.: Ruby slippers, Dear Lord
Rebecca: Best dress, first kiss, she gets the boot
J: Birthday girl, bad hair color, she gets the boot
Keltie:  this year’s Tenley, Oy vey!
Sarah L.: Gidget, she gets the boot.
Britt: Needs a hair cut.

And so the games begins.

Dufus keeps repeating that he is not sure he deserves another chance.  Let me tell you Brad, you don’t.  He tells the girls he understands if anyone wants to leave and gives them the opportunity to go.  No one is leaving Brad.  This is a shot at fame sweetie and has nothing to do with you.

Seriously bad hair with these chicks, which I suppose makes it hard to answer so many questions.  Tough to be interrogated while having to look at ugly hair.  Brad lets us know he is looking for a wife.  Okay Brad.  That’s why you came the first time but we believe you.

Raichel, the man-scaper waxes his hand.  Jackie needs spanx and tries to sing.  Alli asks if her ass is too big and Renee steals him away.  Alli steals him back, then Renee steals him again.  It’s ridiculous and I want to slap someone and up their meds but I’m still watching.

I Love Emily.  I want her to be happy and I want her to find love and I don’t want it to be with Brad.  She is too good for him.  She needs to be the next Bachelorette and have a wonderful group of men to choose from.  I love this girl and if he hurts her he will rot in hell.  Seriously.

Madison the vampire chick is a loser.  Ashley the super cute little girl who lost her dad gets the first impression rose.  Sweet.  She is adorable and wears her heart on her sleeve and I like her.  She is young and her outlook on love is refreshing and untainted which is lovely, but temporary.

Last year Chris Harrison said it was the most “dramatic” season ever.  The Bachelor was gay and picked a whore so yeah, that was dramatic.  This season it is the most “controversial” season ever.  It’s not controversial or dramatic.  It’s a train wreck and we are in.

I am not a fan of Brad.  I am a huge fan of Emily.  I am not a fan of the super freaks, I am a huge fan of Mike Weiss.  I am not a fan of celebrity whores looking for 15 minutes of fame, I am a huge fan of Dufus lovers allowing us to watch them be lame.  I love this show.

I watched Trista and Ryan years ago because it was romantic and inspiring.  I love that they are married and have two beautiful kids.  I am watching Dufus Womack because I enjoy blogging about his pathetic attempt at love.  Big difference, but just as much fun.

It will be an entertaining season and there are enough freaks for him to dump quickly, so the final weeks will be compelling because the losers will be gone.  The Bachelor has gone from a serious shot at love to a train wreck but I don’t care.  I’m watching, laughing, and keeping the faith.

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