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February 16, 2012

Being Sad, the End of an Era & Sex with Trolls

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/being_sad_the_end_of_an_era_sex_with_trolls_20120216/

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I have been sad for a couple of days.  Not depressed, just sad.  It was the anniversary of my dad’s passing, my son is growing up, I miss my family, and I have decisions to make about my work, but none of that is the cause of my sadness.  I was just sad.  I have been crying easily and often.

I think being sad is okay.  It is an emotion of value and while I am not wallowing in it, I allowed it wash over me with the hope it would wash away.  I woke up today feeling better.  There are many things that could make me sad, but in the end I’m not sure what the specific reason was.

At first I felt just horrible that I was sad.  My life is blessed and I have friends who are going through some tough things these days, and being sad felt a little selfish.  How is it that I was sad when my life is so happy?  In the end I stopped thinking about it, embraced it, and let it go.

There is no shame in being sad.  I am fortunate that it came and left.  To those who are sad, it is okay.  Even when surrounded by blessings, life is hard, can be stressful, and there are days when it’s just too much.  Be sad, feel what you need to, and let it go.  Being sad happens.

Just as I was letting my sadness go, I had something to really be sad about. Pinot Bistro is my favorite restaurant in the valley.  It was been an important place to me for many years.  I have experienced tremendous joy and unthinkable sorrow in connection to this restaurant.

It is where I went to celebrate special occasions with my son, where I go for ladies night with my girlfriends, where I planned my wedding reception before my heart was broken and the wedding was off, and where I have been on countless dates over the years.  I love this place.

The food is divine, the wait staff are masters of their trade, and the ambience was always welcoming and warm.  It is where my date got drunk and threw up on my shoes, and where I fell in love.  It is where my girlfriends and me have met for dinner for the past 16 years.

After 20 years, Pinot Bistro is closing their doors for good this week.  Their lease was up and sadly they are not renewing.  Last night, to pay a final farewell to our beloved Pinot, the girls and me went out for dinner.  It was three hours of laugher, Cosmos, and reminiscing.

Los Angeles is full of great places to eat, but this place was special.  It is close to my home, I knew the staff, and I always felt comfortable there.  I knew the food would be great and if my date was a dud, I had back up.  I truly have no idea where we will go now.  I hate starting over.

After 16 years it was my go to place and I am sad it’s gone.  I have so many memories of Pinot Bistro, but perhaps the location will be taken over by something fabulous and a new tradition can pick up where it left off. It is the end of an era. Farewell Pinot Bistro, and thank you.

I trust my 16 years of patronage will allow them to think kindly of me if lets say, hypothetically, a set of salt and pepper shakers went missing, in the event someone felt ballsy enough to feel a memento was needed.  I’m just guessing it will happen during the final weekend.

From Prince Charming to trolls, many of my dating stories involve Pinot. Speaking of trolls, yesterday I was asked out online by a man who had no picture posted.  We emailed a couple of times, but I generally don’t take men without a picture seriously because they are not playing fair.

I was on Twitter while we were having a conversation, and I asked him what he looked like.  He told me he looked like a troll, but not to worry because he was a great guy and I would be willing to overlook his looks because he was such a wonderful human being.  He was charming.

When he said this I asked my Twitter followers if they would rather have fabulous sex with a troll, or bad sex with a supermodel.  It was unanimous that all the women would rather have the great sex, and hilarious because some of their questions in making a choice were brilliant.

Would people have to know they slept with a troll?  Would they go out in public?  Was it just sex or a relationship?  Women went with great sex while men opted for the supermodel.  Not all, but a good 80% of the men I asked said they would go with beauty over sexual satisfaction.

Once could assume they are either not good in bed, or simply have never had good sex.  It proves that men think with their genitals, but perhaps also implies that they are not that talented in the use of their genitals.  It was an interesting conversation with both the troll and Twitter.

By the end of our conversation, he was calling me Angel and I was calling him Troll.  I agreed to meet him for a coffee.  He asked for a drink but with Pinot now out of the picture, I need to find a new safe go to date spot so until then, the troll will need to come out during the daylight.

I’m guessing he’s not really a troll, but one never knows.  He could be, and that might be okay too.  I am old enough and wise enough to know what really matters and so we’ll see.  With Pinot gone, and my sadness over, it’s time for a new beginning.  Maybe what I need in my life is a troll.

I woke up feeling blessed.  My son is happy and healthy, I am fortunate to love my work, my family is a phone call away, and I will see them this summer. My friends are fantastic, and I am going on a date with a troll. With all that, all I can do s smile, embrace life, and keep the faith.

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