December 13, 2011
A Rainy Day in Los Angeles is Hell on Earth
It rained on Monday in Los Angeles. This means I thought about killing people for most of the day. By killing them of course I mean I wanted to get out of my car, knock on their windows, and ask what the hell they were doing. I wouldn’t have had time to kill anyone because the traffic was so bad I never got anywhere. How is it possible an entire city can’t drive in the rain?
I went to the market and waited 10 minutes for a woman to back out of her parking space. I could not move as there was a car in front and one in back of me, both honking. I just sat there as this woman, who was about 400 years old and could see about 2 inches over the steering wheel, backed out of her spot with a look of complete terror that she had to do it in the rain.
Important to note that at that point it was not even raining. It was simply wet from an earlier rain, but that was enough to put her into a deep panic. I don’t want to harp on her because God bless her she was ancient. I am prepared to harp on the young kid who was clearing driving his mother’s car and thought hydroplaning was a fun way to spend the afternoon.
To clarify, I know it was his mother’s car because the back window had those stickers that show a family of cartoon characters. A mom, dad, 3 kids and 2 dogs. A teenager is not putting those stickers on his car. I could not handle his irresponsibility, so after watching him speed through the rain at dangerous speeds three times, I took matters into my own hands.
I copied down his license plate, and then at the next red light, I pulled in front of him, got out of my car and knocked on his window. He opened his window and I lost my mind, yelling that he was putting himself and me in danger by driving like an ass. I then told him I knew who his mother was and was going to call her and let her know his should lose his driving privileges.
Of course I had no idea who his mother was, but I scared the crap out of him and hopefully he knocked it off with the speeding, and was more mindful of his choices. Rain in Los Angeles is hell on earth. It is a painful experience and what sick days are for. Everyone who cannot drive should use their sick days when it rains so they are off the road and I can drive in peace.
While it feels as if I’m the only person who knows how to drive in the rain, there are others. I have seen them. Actually, I would be willing to bet that when I see another good driver on the streets of Los Angeles during a rain, they are not from Los Angeles. The forecast is calling for more rain on Tuesday, which is unfortunate. Buckle up and keep the faith.