October 14, 2009 | 12:08 pm

Every Jew Dot Com

Posted by Ilana Angel

Follow me on

I am a proud member of EveryJew.com which is the online social networking site of the Los Angeles Jewish Journal.  If you are Jewish and have an opinion, about anything, you should join.  If you are a Jewish man, between the ages of 40 and 55, available, can walk and breathe without medical aid and have not named your dog Viagra because you are indebted, then you should not only join, you should take me out.

There are a couple of fun events coming up that are being organized by groups on EveryJew that sound great.  Heebster is a group for Young Jewish Professionals in Los Angeles who are between the ages of 21 and 40.  Heebster’s 2nd Annual Halloween Party takes place on Thursday, October 29th from 9:30 pm to 2:00 am at Life on Wilshire.  There will be prizes for the best costumes and a great DJ to help you dance the night away.  You can get all the details and RSVP at www.heebster.com. 

One could ask why am I plugging a party that I am not able to attend because of my age?  Well I used to be young so I’m trying to be supportive.  By supportive of course I mean I’m talking to my attorney about an age discrimination case.  I could go in costume and never be detected as a crasher.  I have the perfect disguise, I shall attend dressed as a cougar.

There is another group called “Stir Your Spirit” which was started by a great lady named Leslie Zimmer.  You can find them at everyjew.com under the listing of groups.  Based on her own needs Leslie put together a local group whose goal is to create a community of togetherness for those who long for their roots so they can share their busy lives.  Some are married, some single, some don’t have family nearby and some are just searching for a spiritual connection.  They have Shabbat dinners at restaurants around town and Havdallah potlucks at member’s homes.  It’s a wonderful way to meet new people, reconnect with our faith and share some food for the soul.  Their first event is happening on Friday, October 23.  Mazel Tov to Leslie for making it all happen.

Thanks to everyone for your well wishes on my fight with a cold.  It would appear that I won the battle and am feeling much better.  Mazel Tov to Jake for being selected as the new Bachelor on ABC and love to Mike Fleiss because I just can’t seem to let it go. 

I have connected with some great people through this site and get emails from all over the world with feedback on what I write and it’s lovely to know that no matter how far apart we are, we are connected as people, as Jews and as those who think my blog is hilarious and a daily must read.

I hope you will join me at EveryJew.com and become a member of the great groups, one of which is all about keeping the faith.

October 13, 2009 | 1:22 pm

Sick Day

Posted by Ilana Angel

For the first time I am taking a sick day from my blog.  I am killing this sucker before it even has a chance and tomorrow I will be back to my healthy self.  George Clooney, if you’re reading this that means you got my message.  The door is unlocked, I’m in bed and I take 2 sugars in my tea.  See you soon.  xoxo

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October 12, 2009 | 12:40 pm

Sick and Single

Posted by Ilana Angel

I once wrote that the hardest thing about being a single parent was that I had a ton of pictures of my kid growing up but not many of us together.  That has always been a sad thing for me.  Today however I have found another thing that is really hard about being a single parent.  My new struggle is being sick and single.

I woke up this morning not feeling well.  By woke up this morning of course I mean that I never actually woke up because I did not sleep.  I feel the beginnings of a cold coming on.  I feel tired and achey but I am hopeful that I can nip it in the bud.  That said it is going to be a slow moving day.

I got out of bed, made my son his lunch, packed him up for school and got him there with a minute to spare before the bell rang.  When I got back I sat in the car for 5 minutes mustering up the energy to walk up the three flights of stairs to my apartment.  If I didn’t have so much work to do I would have sat in the car all day until I needed to pick him up this afternoon.

So now I’m home, in bed, writing my blog and would love a cup of tea.  The thought of actually getting up to make it seems like a lot of work and I’m not sure it’s worth the effort.  I poked around the Internet to check if my symptoms were the swine flu and it turns out I have what is simply the beginning stages of a cold.

Maybe I should start a service where you can hire someone to come and take care of you when you are sick and single.  I could employ a stable of gorgeous supermodel men and playmate worthy girls and you can rent them for a day.  They can make you tea, pick up your used tissues from the floor, tell you that you’ll be fine, run a hot bath and prepare soup.

This could be my million-dollar idea.  It would almost be worth waking up under the weather if it meant that a George Clooney type would come take care of me.  At this point I want a cup of tea so badly that I would take a George Wentz type if he would make it for me.

I hope I feel better soon and by soon I mean now.  I’m going to post my blog and drag myself up to make a cup of tea.  I will spend the day preparing a business plan and by preparing a business plan of course I mean lay in bed, take lots of vitamins and hope I’m back to my old self in time to get my son from school.  Wishful thinking I suppose but totally possible if I keep the faith.

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October 11, 2009 | 1:51 pm

Toronto Maple Leafs

Posted by Ilana Angel

I love hockey.  I think it is the greatest sport in the world to watch and those who play are superior athletes.  It’s fast and exciting and if you’re really lucky there is a great fight.  Like we say in Canada, if there isn’t any blood its just figure skating.

This has nothing to do with being single I just wanted to make it clear to my friend Adam that the Toronto Maple Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup again in my lifetime and by win it of course I mean a few times.  If Chicago can break their World Series curse then we’ve got it in the bag.  It will happen Adam and when it does I hope we win against Pittsburgh. xoxo

Now, on to the joys of being single and by joys of course I mean there is no joy in dating and by dating of course I mean spending time getting totally cute only to be stuck with someone who is as entertaining as a root canal.

My friend Elissa wanted to talk about the angst of pursuing the unattainable and posed the question why do women want what we can’t have in terms of men?  What I have learned my darling friend, and by learned I mean the hard way, is that if we want someone we can’t have they are probably not what we really want. 

I have faith that when I meet the man I am supposed to be with it will make sense and it will not be about wanting something I can’t have but more about getting something that I deserve.

Perhaps we choose men that are unattainable because we are really not ready for love and know inside it will not work so we are protecting ourselves.  I’ve done it myself more times that I care to remember.  If you like someone and those feelings cause you angst then he is simply not the right man.

As for being too shy to pursue someone, you have got to let that go.  I am a firm believer that it is okay for a woman to make the first move.  We are responsible for our own happiness and if you see someone you like then let them know.  With risk can come great reward.

There are no rules in the game of love.  You owe it to yourself to pursue all opportunities for happiness.  Be brave and bold and go for what you want.  There will always be rejection and perhaps embarrassment along the way but the best part is that when it’s the right one it will be glorious and you will be so glad you were confident.

I’m not a dating expert or a therapist but I am a woman who has been dating for a long time.  A pathetic admission but whatever.  I’ve had my share of love and heartache and each failed relationship gets me closer to my Beshert.  Perhaps it’s a little naïve and romantic but in the end all I have are my dreams. 

I will find him and if having these romanticized views of love gives me the strength to keep dating and searching then it’s all good.  Sometimes you’ve got to believe in the dream in order to keep the faith.

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October 10, 2009 | 12:46 pm

Facebook

Posted by Ilana Angel

I love Facebook.  I love that I can check up on my son and his friends, I am a master farmer, my family can see pictures and stay connected, old friends have found me and reconnected.  I really do love Facebook and by love it of course I mean I am obsessed with it.  I posted on my page last night that I had nothing to blog about and my friends came to the rescue with some interesting topics.

Michelle:  I agree that dating during the holidays is a nightmare!  Between the Jewish and secular holidays it feels like there is no time between September and December to have a date.  Then there is the pressure of actually having a date for the holidays.  My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving which is the time I crave family and love the most.  So yes Michelle, holidays are tough and as we approach this festive time of the year I want to thank you for the reminder that I am dateless.  Kiss your sweetie and snuggle up in your beautiful home and bask in the glory of your love.  I’m not saying I’m envious of your bliss, I’m sincerely happy for you and by happy of course I mean thankful that I look great in green.

Laurel:  Interesting theory that if I open myself up to a lesbian relationship I will double my chances.  The good news is that I’m sure my mother can now tell me all the things I need to know about being a lesbian and the bad news is that Michelle gave me the statistics on available women and it would appear that it may not be that viable of an option.  Thanks for trying Laurel and to Michelle, you are quickly becoming a joy sucker.  If you were tall, blond and gorgeous I could hardly stand to be your friend.  Wait a minute, you’re both tall, blonde and gorgeous.  Whatever.

Elissa:  Your ideas were great and I am dedicating my blog tomorrow to your suggestions.  We always want what seems impossible to have and when we finally get it we often see that we really didn’t want it or even worse, we want it badly then lose it.  As for men being available or not, remember my dating hell known as “Richard”? If I start writing now for tomorrow I will have 24 hours to find a way to properly express myself without sounding bitter.  LOL, yeah right. 

Danielle:  I have a couple of go to men that I consult for the male perspective but they are useless more often than not.  I seriously need to get a new straight, single and searching for love male friend in my life to help me navigate the waters and by navigate the waters of course I mean marry me.

Faigy:  Your suggestions were poignant and lovely.  It is the end of Sukkot and I loved the analogy of reaping what we sow and the temporary nature of a Sukkah and how it can all be directly linked to the search for love.  It occurred to me when reading your post that if I am going to write about keeping the faith I need to focus more on using my faith to help me understand what it is that I am searching for.

I have wonderful friends and thanks to Facebook I am able to reach out and get some great things to blog about.  You can join my blog on Facebook at Keeping The Faith Singles Blog fan page.  I wish you all a Chag Sameach.  May we all have peace, love and unending faith.

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October 9, 2009 | 1:14 pm

Week in Review

Posted by Ilana Angel

1) I had a nice evening with my recycled date.  He is a gentleman and a Republican.  Who knew you could be both at the same time?  I want to give a shout out to Bryan and Luke the “wine guys” at Whole Foods, Coldwater Canyon and Riverside.  If you ever need help selecting a wine, these guys rock and know their stuff.

2) I think it’s amazing that Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize.  Maybe next year they can give it to Ellen Degeneres for bringing peace to American idol.  I wonder if Obama will take family members of some of the kids who have died in Afganistan while he’s been in office with him to Oslo.  I love this man but come on.  Are they kidding? 

3) Thank goodness I have finally regained my eyesight after the troubling week of Dancing With The Stars.  I am thankful that Debi Mazar went home and my cat seems to have recovered from the voodoo curse that she placed on her.  I cannot wait for next week and I hope Aaron Carter is the one to go and starts crying when they tell him.  That will be brilliant television.

4) Mike Fleiss?  Hello?  Papa can you hear me?  Is this thing turned on?  This is my official last shout out to Mike Fleiss.  I’m certainly not going to beg Mike. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call me.  I shall leave him in peace and move on with my life.  I can’t help but be a little disappointed but I’m 43 and single so I will adjust.

5) My mother is safe and sound in Canada.  Here is a little part of a conversation we had:  “Hi Mom”.  “Hi Sweetie. I love you and want to come back already”.  “You are always welcome and can come whenever you want”.  “Thank you my Sweetie. Did you know that you can buy movies of lezbies that show what they do?“  Seriously, I love this woman. The chances of my getting my mother lesbian porn are as slim as Obama ever winning a Nobel Prize for Peace.  Wait a minute…….

6) This weekend my son has a football game and I am really looking forward to it.  He has also been invited to a special service and brunch at the Temple where had his Bar Mitzvah as someone who read Torah this year and I am so proud of him. 

This was an interesting week for me.  There was stress with work, a disappointing discovery about a friend, a visit to my past that was unexpected and a look into my future that was surprising.  My son has been with his dad for two days and I can’t wait for him to come home.  Shabbat dinner with my boy will put it all into perspective and allow me to embrace both the good and bad. 

I am tired.  I look forward to Shabbat so I can start a fresh week on Saturday evening.  I am blessed and my life is truly wonderful, but man oh man, this has been a week where it was a struggle for me to keep the faith.

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October 8, 2009 | 1:32 pm

Sexual Relations

Posted by Ilana Angel

I went out for dinner and drinks with a couple of my girlfriends last night.  We had a lovely time at our neighborhood dive bar where they have the best garlic bread and make a fabulous Cosmopolitan which has been my favorite drink for as long as I can remember. 

Drinks and dinner somehow just taste better when you are with your girlfriends.  We talked about kids, work, life and men.  It’s good to hear other women’s take on what is going on in your life, talking about what we all want and how we balance what we have.

There are certain elements of a relationship that I really miss.  Little seemingly silly things, but I value them.  Holding hands, having a song, secret signals to tell your partner it’s time to leave a party.  None of them are of significant importance, but I like these things.

The ladies and I talked about dating and relationships which inevitably leads to talk of sex.  Three women, six drinks, a spunky waitress and tables so close you can hear the people next to you breathing leads to an interesting discussion.

We talked about when was an appropriate time to have sex with someone new you are dating.  I hear a lot about the 6 date rule but I have friends who had sex on the first date and ended up marrying them.  You just never know what will work for you and every circumstance is different so there should be no rules.

There is a subtle distinction between a sexual relationship and a relationship that is sexual.  You must time sex properly or you risk going down the wrong path.  Sexual relationships are not hard to find but having a relationship that is sexual, takes commitment and work. 

I think for women we look for a relationship that is sexual while men want to start off with sex and work into a relationship.  It’s all very interesting considering I have my third date with recycled man this evening.  We are ordering dinner in, sharing some wine and getting to know each other better.

I’m looking forward to seeing him and happy to be hanging out at home.  There is a thin line between being a floozy and a good hostess so I will be careful.  In the end I know he will be a gentleman so as long as I’m a lady we won’t get into any trouble.

The theory that wisdom comes with age does not apply to dating.  I am fumbling through the process the same way now as I did in my 20’s and 30’s.  You never know what will happen so all I can do is stay true to myself and keep the faith.

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October 7, 2009 | 1:14 pm

Flipping Out

Posted by Ilana Angel

Is anyone watching Flipping Out on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10 pm?  I have spent the morning trying to figure out how to write about this show and somehow tie it into my blog about being single and the only connection I could come up with is that Jeff Lewis is gay and I am in love with him which is my pattern and by pattern of course I mean I could be single because I love gay men.

I think Jeff Lewis is hilarious and I enjoy him.  I would like for the two of us to hang out and I think Jenny is divine and when she turns into Deb its television perfection.  It really is a well crafted sitcom that is disguised as a reality show and I could watch it all day.  It is cast perfectly and should get an Emmy for comedy writing.

It begs the question, am I so nervous about trusting a man and falling in love again that I hang out with gay men so my heart is somehow protected from getting broken?  Have I reached a point of such fear that I am purposely surrounding myself with men who are safe?  Could I be saying I put myself out there when really I am hiding? 

Nope.  Not me.  I am finally able to trust my ability to make good choices.  I am 43 and fabulous.  I have never looked or felt better.  I am comfortable with who I am as a human being and according to the text books and by text books of course I mean the ladies of The View, I am in my sexual prime.

So yes, I love Jeff Lewis.  That does not mean I am hiding from love but rather that I am capable of opening my heart.  Being single in your 40’s is really hard.  I am at a point in life where I can be free and uninhibited but at the same time I am a mother and balancing the two is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.

I’m doing fine.  Life is great, my son is great, work is great and dating is, well,  it is what it is.  Keep the faith.

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