Posted by Ilana Angel
Adrian Peterson is a running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He is young, handsome, successful, and from all accounts, a lovely and decent human being. As a woman who is raising a son, I look at men like Adrian and am inspired to dream big for my child. Adrian Peterson’s life is not without pain and suffering. He has overcome a lot to be who he is today.
Adrian was born and raised in Palestine, Texas. He was 7 when he watched his older brother Brian get killed by a drunk driver, and 13 when his father was arrested for dealings with a cocaine ring. He turned to sports and excelled. He was a high school football star, a college football star, and is now a pro. Peterson’s journey has not been easy.
I do not know much about this man, and am not a huge sports follower, but I have respect for him as an athlete and the work that goes into his success. The entire business of athletics is interesting and inspiring to young and old alike. Adrian Peterson is a star in the world of sports but today he is all over the news for another reason.
Peterson’s two year old son has passed away due to injuries sustained in a beating from the boyfriend of the child’s mother. The child had been on life support but has now passed and his organs donated. I cannot wrap my head around this story. It makes me think of all the children who are being beaten and killed today who do not have a famous parent.
Who beats a child? Children are precious and innocent and to hurt them is heartbreaking. My father once hit me with a belt when I was young and I remember his telling me it was for my own good. No it wasn’t. It was vicious, did not help me, teach me anything, and only proved to be a lack of judgment on the part of my father. It did however shape me as a parent.
When my son was two years old he tried to shove one of his toys into a light socket. I saw him from across the room and I ran to him, jumped over the couch, and slapped his hand very hard. He dropped the toy, looked at me in shock for what felt like forever, then burst into tears. It was the only time I hit him and he has a vivid memory of it to this day. I don't hit.
Adrian Peterson posted the following touching message on his Twitter: "Thank you to my family, my fans and fans of other teams for their support. The NFL is a fraternity of brothers and I am thankful for the tweets, phone calls and text messages from my fellow players. God Bless everyone and thank u so much," This message made me cry.
I do not know what happened to cause the death of this child, but I hope the punishment is swift and just to child killer Joseph Robert Patterson. Perhaps they should take him to a Vikings game and let him visit the locker room for a minute. I’d like five minutes alone with him myself. There should be no mercy for anyone who harms or kills a child.
We live in a world where athletes are revered and while Adrian Peterson is used to being in the news, there will be no moment as important this one. The loss of his precious son will shine a spotlight on the countless children who are being hurt today. My condolences to Mr. Peterson and his family. My heart is heavy and I am keeping the faith.
12.21.13 at 9:03 am |
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service.
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played.
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . .
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (387)
7.25.11 at 5:38 pm | We need more Jews! (279)
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service. (256)
October 10, 2013 | 2:36 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have a date with Coach tonight and I am looking forward to it. He is a lovely man. He listens, values my opinion, thinks I am beautiful, makes me laugh, and through his life experiences I am not only able to respect his bravery and grace, but also value my own experiences in a new way. I have a crush on this man and I look forward to spending more time with him.
We are dating and have removed our online dating profiles. I suppose it is a silly gesture to some, but it is romantic to me. That we want to respect our getting to know each other in a way that does not include advertising ourselves to others matters to me. The conversation we had while making this decision was sweet and I am smiling now as I think of it.
Before I met Coach I was chatting on JDate with a man we’ll call “Jake”. He reached out to me and we ended up having a really great banter over instant message and email. Jake is funny with a nice smile. A successful man who has the world’s cutest dog. Honestly, I think I spoke to him initially because I was in love with his dog.
After several exchanges online I gave Jake my phone number and told him to call. He never called. It was baffling to me because I could not understand how someone I had such a great banter with would then not call. I actually felt bad about it and cancelled my JDate profile before Coach and me decided we would go offline. The truth is Jake hurt my feelings.
If I could have exchanges with Jake that made me actually go online to look for him, and he couldn't be bothered to call me, what was I doing? Then I met Coach and we started to date. Not only did we date, but he courted me, got to know me, let me know my opinion mattered, and made me realize I didn’t need to mend my heart, simply open it up again.
On Tuesday I got a message from Jake on the email people use to contact me about my blog. He wrote me a lovely note telling me he wished me well with Coach, was a schmuck for not calling, and should it not work out he’d like to meet me for a drink. It was sweet and it mattered. I hope people will be kind and for a man I assumed was unkind to correct me, was nice.
I am worthy of great love and Jake’s email got me thinking about timing. I have been looking for someone. My heart was broken and so I was wounded and somewhat fragile. I was certain I needed a man to swoop in and tell me what to do. In the end it was a gentle giant who simply walked up, held my hand, and led me out of the dark. The time was right.
Six months ago I would have written to Jake and told him he really needed to call me because I was desperate. Three months ago I would have told Jake he was an asshole for not calling because I was bitter. Today, right now, I am able to thank Jake for taking the time to write because I am hopeful. I never wear a watch, but am feeling gratitude for good timing.
I am at a point in my life where I am clear on what I want. I am smart enough to not settle for someone, secure enough to know I can be patient, hopeful enough to know he will come, and jaded enough to know when I am dealing with smoke and mirrors. When it comes to affairs of the heart timing is everything and my time is now, so I am keeping the faith.
October 10, 2013 | 1:40 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Michelle Duggar, the woman with 19 kids and a reality show, has announced she is trying to get pregnant with her 20th child and if it is God’s will, her family will be blessed with another child. This woman has lost her mind and I seriously think she has some kind of mental issue. She has three grandchildren, has had difficult pregnancies, and to do this to not only her body, but her other children, is selfish.
This woman needs to call it a day on the baby factory and become a spokesperson for vaginal rejuvenation. She has an odd view of the world, and is teaching her children her beliefs, which is sad for those kids, but bless her. We live in a country where she can believe what she wants, teach what she wants, and have the family she wants. What is annoying however, is how she does not get we think she is a moron.
She is a freak show. She is not in the news or on television because people think she is fascinating and entertaining. She is known because she is a freak. She says her large family is because it is God’s will. Or maybe it is because she has a lot of sex, does not use birth control, and has no respect for her vagina. That poor thing has got to be tired. Bless it. Will it be God’s will if she dies during childbirth of her 20th child?
She has had difficult pregnancies and her focus should be on her 19 kids having a mother, not God’s will for her to have another. Here’s the thing, religion is personal and everyone has their own view of God and faith. That said, no matter how you pray or what you believe in, God wants a lot of things for all of us and 20 babies for some lunatic is not a top priority on his list. Of this I am quite certain and she needs to leave God out of it.
At the end of the day Michelle Duggar has my respect in that she is dedicated to her family and her faith. Where she loses my respect is in how incredibly selfish and unaware she is. To keep having children is selfish in my opinion. To say that God is somehow making her pregnant is offensive. She has a platform and people listen to her so she should be more mindful of that. Time for Michelle to reevaluate how she keeps the faith.
October 10, 2013 | 6:51 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
If you read Keeping the Faith with any regularity, you know I write about sex and faith, a lot. Both are interesting topics and both matter. Sex is wonderful, and being sexual is important, but I am at a point in my life where I am not willing to have sex without love, and I cannot find love without sharing my faith, so I struggle. Throw in that I am a single mother, and beginning a new relationship, and sex becomes complicated.
I am looking for guidance and answers, so I gathered a group of professionals to help. I am very excited about this evening and I hope you will join us. You can’t talk about sex without getting a little racy, and you can’t talk about God without getting a little fired up, so it promises to be a provocative and fun night. I can’t guarantee that it won’t get heated, or the language won't get colorful, but it will not get vulgar.
Rabbi Ed Feinstein is the senior rabbi of Valley Beth Shalom. He serves on the faculty of the Ziegler Rabbinical School of the American Jewish University, the Wexner Heritage Program, and the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. He lectures widely across the country and is a brilliant and very cool Rabbi. You can learn more about Rabbi Feinstein at vbs.org.
Dr. Limor Blockman is a renowned Clinical Sex Counselor, Educator, Columnist, Speaker and Author. Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health & Community Medicine, and a Bachelor’s in Psychology & Behavioral Sciences. You can read Dr. Limor's blog at jewishjournal.com/cradleoflove.
David Wygant has been earning the trust of American men and women looking to transform their love lives, for over 20 years. He has personally coached thousands of people, and is one of the most respected and popular relationship experts in the world. David specializes in helping men, and you can learn about him at davidwygant.com.
Danielle Berrin writes the Hollywood Jew column and blog for the Jewish Journal. It is a values-based take on the entertainment industry. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, British Esquire and The Huffington Post. You can read Danielle's work at jewishjournal.com/hollywoodjew.
Whether you are single or married, gay or straight, having sex or wanting sex, you should join us. Regardless of your your religion, or your level of observance, you should join us. We will discuss faith, the presence of sex in our religious teachings, and how to connect the dots to be sexually satisfied while embracing a comfortable and satisfying sexual and religious life. At the end of the day sex matters, God is watching, and a good sex life requires us to keep the faith.
Purchase tickets at http://www.hotandholyla.eventbrite.com
October 7, 2013 | 10:44 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Last night I had a date with Coach and I don’t mind telling you I am a little giddy. It was the kind of date where everything happens exactly how you want. From the holding of hands, to the tasting of each other’s drinks, to the kiss goodnight, we were in sync. I find myself with a schoolgirl crush on a very cool and interesting man. Good things come to those who wait.
There are many attractive things about Coach. Most important, he is a wonderful father and speaks of his daughter in a way that makes me proud of him. He is dedicated to her and when talking about her his eyes light up. There is nothing sexier than a man who is a good father. Also, his ability to share his admiration of me as a single mother makes me want to hug him close.
He understands my sarcasm, gets my sense of humor, laughs with me and at me. He is not afraid of sharing his opinion or feelings. He is more than a foot taller than me and I feel safe next to him. I was going to wear heals but opted to wear flats just because I get so excited about his height. There is something very sexy about a munchkin next to a giant.
It is an interesting relationship because it is new, but there is intimacy in our converations. He is gentle with my heart, patient with my hesitation, embracing of my dreams, and just the right mix of coach and friend to guide me along the path I want so much to travel. We are beginning something wonderful and I feel grateful to have met this wonderful and charming man.
We are approaching our new relationship from the perspective that it matters. We are open, honest, communicative, and aware. It is all very grown up, which is interesting when you consider he makes me feel like a young girl with a crush. We are our true selves, say what we want, mean what we say, and speak of building something special. It's all very romantic.
If he is unclear he askes me for clarificaiton. If he disagreess he shares his perspective. He is not afraid or intimidated by what I share or what I write. He is proud of me, which makes me want to be better. A better friend, woman, mother, and person. He inspires me. I find him insanely attractive and his musical tastes are sexy as hell. Sidebar: He is a gifted kisser.
Last night we decided we will only date each other. It is a big deal for a girl when a man says he is going to focus all of his attention on you. I find myself wanting to make him happy because he makes me so happy. My heart is fluttering, mind is racing, body is melting, and fear is disappearing. I am saying a prayer, counting blessings, and keeping the faith.
October 6, 2013 | 1:30 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
It has been a complicated week in my dating life. I was reminded of my past relationship in a way that has released me and allowed me to finally move forward. It has been seven months since the Englishman decided to be a coward and break my heart. This week rather than be sad about it, I was able to clearly see I dodged a bullet. He is not the man I thought he was and I am done thinking about him in any way other than as an asshole.
He wrote me a shocking email this week. After months of no contact, he actually wrote a lovely note. By lovely of course I mean childish and vile. Any hope I had for some sign of kindness is now gone. It no longer matters if he apologizes for what he did because I don’t care anymore. It is sad that as women we need closure to include an apology. Especially when we expect it from men who are incapable of giving it.
The revelation is not about his not being worthy of me as much as it is about me deserving better. I hung onto a relationship that was unfulfilling because he lied and I believed him. It is not his fault though. Blame is not necessary but if it must be assigned, I will own it. I should have known better, actually did know better, and opted to stay anyway. It was not just his note that changed things for me. It was meeting a different kind of man.
I have met a man we will call “Coach”. He has been courting me for two weeks and it has been really interesting. He is kind and funny, but also a great communicator. We are clear with each other. Clear on how we express who we are and what we want. He has taken the time to get to know me. He is secure enough to not be intimidated by how I share my life, and strong enough to make me feel like he has my back. He is a nice man.
It is an added bonus that he is tall, dark, and handsome. He stands 6’4”, has kind eyes, is Jewish, and makes me flutter. I have been dating and trying to move on but it has proven to be difficult. When you love someone and they stop loving you back, or perhaps never really loved you at all, it is debilitating. I have been forcing myself to move on and Coach has made me realize I could not move because I was not ready or available.
I am realistic enough to know he may be blowing smoke up my ass and not as great as he is appears, but in the end that does not matter. The important thing here is I am ready. We take pieces of all past relationships with us into the next one, but the trick is to remember them so we can learn, not hang onto them so tightly they kill any shot in hell we have of finding love again. By love of course I mean the love we have for ourselves.
I write a lot about the Englishman and now I am done. We were together for a long time and had built a life together, so it has been very hard to let go. This weekend however, I finally did. I am not able to let go of all the pain, but I am in a place where I can see it for what it was, remember the good things, and stop punishing myself for it not working out. A door was finally slammed shut in my face and it caused a window to fly open.
Through Coach I am reminded love is something I need in my life and relationships don't need to be hard. I don’t know if love will be found with him. I don’t even know if dating past this week will be our path, but I do know I think he is terrific. I am not comparing him to anyone, embracing who is on his own, and letting my guard down a little bit. At the end of the day maybe a girl needs a good Coach to teach her how to keep the faith.
October 2, 2013 | 10:16 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
My son showed me this video today and I watched in true amazement. I’m not sure I would be brave enough to actually try it on my phone, but it really is remarkable. We are ordering this and I am going to spray everything.
Be amazed people.
If you have used it, let me know how it worked, and I will report back once we try it. To the geniuses who came up with this I say bravo. Will is really let my white shoes stay white? I am keeping the faith.
October 1, 2013 | 8:40 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I try to always take the high road but the truth is the high road can suck. There is no satisfaction in taking it when you are hurt. I consider myself one who travels it often, but when someone is hurt, mad, or sad, the high road brings no real comfort. Perhaps if the high road came with some really good pot it might make us feel better, but when it is just a simple road with no real high, it's just a road with no view.
Today I found out the Englishman is taking his new girlfriend to London. It has not been been that long since he took me and my son to England to meet his family, and for some reason I found the news upsetting. We are not friends and of course he should take this woman home. Why then, do I find it sad? More importantly, why couldn’t I just be happy to have dodged that bullet? There is no reason I should care about this.
I read the message he was taking her at the same time I was on a call to a man I am interested in. We have been getting to know each other and I really like him, yet due to some unfortunate timing, when we were speaking I blurted out that I could not believe my ex was taking this woman to England. Who talks about an ex with someone you are just getting to know? I broke the most basic of dating rules and I am mortified.
We were to meet for lunch and he ended up cancelling. While the two things could be unrelated, I went home and cried. I cried because the Englishman turned out to be a schmuck, and I cried because I allowed my hurt feelings to say something stupid to a man that has been wonderful and a real breath of fresh air. I find myself feeling quite broken, which is stupid because the power to be hurt and the choice to cry is mine.
I am strong 99% of the time and today I was weak. I have moved on and perhaps the reaction came more from fear than pain, but either way I really hope I have not sabotaged myself. I did not take the high road today. I lashed out at the Englishman. After no contact in forever, I was unkind. I wanted to hurt him for not loving me the way I loved him, but he lied and cheated so he was unworthy of me and it needed to end.
If I am going to be completely honest with myself, and you, it is my ego that is bruised more than my heart. I believed he thought I was special and in the end she is now special. Less charming and attractive, but still special. We all have demons that live on from past relationships and I am good at keeping mine at bay, but those bastards came out today. My ego got hurt, I was shocked, and am now disappointed in my inablility to take the high road.
I embarrassed myself today. Twice. I was mean to a man whose opinion I could not care less about, and I said something stupid to a man whose opinion matters to me. The heart is complicated, and today mine was an ass. Bless her. I was given an opportunity to take the high road and opted to take a different path. Live and learn. I will forgive myself, apologize to others, turn towards to the high road, and keep the faith.