Posted by Ilana Angel
After months of waiting The Bachelor premiered last night on ABC. I love this show and the hopeless romantic in me watches with an open heart and held breath that it will end in a happy ending. The cynical girl who lives just below the surface of my heart watches to see the train wrecks so she can say I told you so.
When Jake was walking around in his uniform with “On the Wings of Love” playing as the background music I could actually feel my heart flutter. It was great television and I was hooked within the first 5 minutes. The pilot gig is sexy and the uniform is delicious. Chris Harrison was, as always, a great host. Ryan who?
I was not a fan of Jake last year. He was a little boring and white toast for me but I’m a hardcore Jew lover so it makes sense I wouldn’t fall in love with him. The thing is, I really like him. He is lovely and kind and appears to really be looking for love. He has a Tom Cruise vibe and that could be both good and bad I suppose, but for me it’s all good.
I will go on record right now that my favorite girl after episode one is Tenley. I just loved her. She went in for the first kiss and I thought it was charming. That she put herself out there after being with only one other person was huge. I remember the first time I kissed a man after my divorce. I burst into tears. It was a very emotional thing and I felt both her fear and her bravery. Her divorce could be a turn off for Jake so we’ll see.
Vienna may be a transvestite and Michelle could possibly make perfect television. Even if you hate this show, Michelle makes it worth watching. She cried on episode one and you know that’s going to be just the beginning of crazy time. Elizabeth from Nebraska is stunning but has a hidden mean girl side so she may be a bonus train wreck. Ella, the single mom, is a loon. She is a hairdresser who had the most unattractive hair. I can tell she is going to crack. Can’t wait!
Some of these girls are beyond beautiful. I think Gia is so pretty that I can’t wrap my head around her being unlucky in love. Granted she has no personality and appears to not be that smart, but what I wouldn’t give to be in that body for a week. I’d get bored eventually so I guess that’s ultimately her problem with men but one week would be fantastic.
Ali with the sore throat is cute in a Sleeping Beauty kind of way and I think she will be around for a while. Valishia from Carlsbad listed her job as “Homemaker”. What does that mean? She had the best dress of the night which was the only memorable thing about her. Then there is Channy, who is also a tranny, and he/she had the most mockable moment with her landing strip comment.
When the girls were all surprised that they did not get the first impression rose it was hilarious. They seriously all thought it would be them. It made me wish my full time job was to write about this show, which reminds me….. Steve McPherson? Hello? Are you ignoring me? Call Mike Fleiss and he will tell you there is no point. Just call and get it over with. I’m waiting.
It is going to be a great season. At the end of the day whether you like Jake or not, it is worth watching because the women will be entertaining. For me, the train wrecks are fabulous and the cattiness of the girls is fascinating but the real reason I will tune in each week is for the opportunity to watch two people fall in love.
I believe in love. I hope Jake finds what he is looking for and that the girl he picks is his Beshert and not a wannabe celebrity like Melissa Rycroft. Don’t even get me started on her. I am thrilled for Jason and Molly and I wish them all the best with their upcoming wedding. He dodged a bullet on that one.
I will blog about The Bachelor on Tuesdays and I’m very excited because it will give me a nice break from the men who throw up on my shoes, don’t respond to my emails and write me from prison. This show, as corny and silly as you may think it is, appeals to my heart and reminds me to keep the faith.
12.21.13 at 9:03 am |
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service.
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played.
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . .
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (395)
7.25.11 at 5:38 pm | We need more Jews! (296)
12.21.13 at 9:03 am | (270)
January 4, 2010 | 1:50 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I cannot believe it is 2010 and my son will be 14 in 2 weeks. I feel like I just had a baby and now he is taller than me. He sat me down last week and told me I need to meet a great man and have a relationship. He was specific about the kind of man I should date and that it needed to happen this year.
It’s strange to speak to him about it because he is my child, but on the flip side he knows me better than anyone else and who I share my life with will also be a part of his life so it makes sense that he would have an opinion and should have a say in who I date.
His words were wise and mature and it was fascinating to be having such a well thought out conversation with him. He is starting to date and what is really interesting is that we are 30 years apart and have a lot of the same insecurities in terms of dating. It’s not any easier at 43 than it is at 13.
He said I needed to go online and write men instead of waiting for them to write me and then being disappointed because the ones who write are not what I am looking for. We went online and I wrote to 3 men that he approved. I wrote and expressed my interest and waited. It’s been a week and I’m still waiting.
I respond to everyone that writes me online. I will thank them for the interest and taking the time. Even if we are never going to go out, I still write to acknowledge them because I think it is the decent and kind thing to do. Do men not do that or is it just the ones that I write to?
Are men not sensitive enough to know a response would be appropriate? Do they not care that I put myself out there? If you are approached in person and not interested don’t you say thank you? Am I the only woman who responds? There is a complete lack of manners online and it’s a shame because it makes me not want to do it and yet I know it’s an necessary evil so in the end it’s just another sad thing about dating on the Internet.
My son is interested in a girl at school and I told him to ask her out to a movie this week as they have another week of winter break. It’s so cute that he told me to be brave but can’t quite get there himself. I will teach him to be a decent man and have dating manners so he is respectful.
It’s charming to be on this path with my son. I have not picked well in the past so maybe his help will lead me to love. His take on the last couple of men I was in a relationship with was spot on so I can and should totally trust him.
It will be interesting to see how it all plays out because in the past he has met men only after I was already involved and now he wants a say in who I become involved with and that will take me a minute to embrace because it’s a new approach.
I’m going to try to not be discouraged and will write men again online. I must expect that some will have manners and others will not. At the end of the day this is going to be my year to find love. I feel it coming so I need to be patient, remember my manners and always keep the faith.
January 1, 2010 | 7:45 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Happy New Year!
After 15 hours at Disneyland with my son and his friends last night, I simply do not have a blog in me today. Frustrating because there is so much to talk about! I’m just stopping in to wish everyone a year of health and happiness. I think it’s going to be a great year for me and that’s the best part of this day. On the first day of the year you can believe everything is possible because there has been no time to prove it can’t happen and that’s a great feeling. God Bless and I will see you on Monday. Shabbat Shalom.
December 31, 2009 | 12:17 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
New Year’s Eve is a wonderful day. You can, for a short moment, lie to yourself and truly believe those lies. You can promise that you will try to fix what has been broken, experience new things, better yourself, mend fences and live in a delusional state until you burst your own bubble.
I like this magical 24 hours and have been blessed to be able to accomplish at least one of my resolutions every year. In 2009 the one I stuck with was to stop eating meat and I am very proud of the accomplishment.
For my final blog of 2009 I have decided to publicly list my Top 20 List of resolutions, in no particular order, hereby inviting you to share in both my triumphs and failures:
1) Stop throwing away my hard earned money on JDate.
2) Lose 40 pounds and gain back only 20 so I lose the 20 I wanted.
3) Exercise because I love it not because I have to.
4) Study Torah.
5) Meet a Jewish man to share my life with.
6) Be a better recycler.
7) Forgive myself for my bad choices.
8) Forgive others for their bad choices.
9) Buy lottery tickets so I actually have a chance to win.
10) Don’t date men who have hidden girlfriends.
11) Don’t get another cat.
12) Keep a focused, not smothering eye on my son as he starts high school.
13) Stop dropping my iPhone every day.
14) Come to terms with the fact that Andy is gay and will never marry me.
15) Beat my son at a Wii game. Just once will do. Any game. Just once.
16) See more of California.
17) Do more yoga.
18) Learn how to make sushi.
19) Stop dating losers.
20) Stop allowing the losers I date to make me feel like a loser.
There you have it my friends. A hefty list to be sure, but there will be at least one resolution I accomplish and I feel confident this may be the year I master more than one.
I have learned a lot about myself through writing this blog and I thank you very much for reading. I wish us all health and happiness in 2010. Allow yourself to dream big because every once and a while dreams come true.
The one thing I will always do, with no resolution required, is Keep The Faith.
Happy New Year.
December 30, 2009 | 2:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I moved to the States in 1991 and my first girlfriend here was Jel. I had friends through my family or my husband, but she was the first person I met on my own and we became fast friends. We met at work and for the past 18 years she has been someone who always shares her honest opinion, no holds barred.
Over the years we have gone through times where we talked 20 times a day and others when life got busy and we went long periods without contact. We know each other really, really well and are both able to read what is going on with the other and no matter how much time passes, when we talk, it’s like two puzzle pieces coming together and everything snaps into place perfectly.
When we met, Jel had a very young daughter, was going through a divorce and I had been married for 3 weeks. We’ve been through marriages, divorces, the loss of our fathers, pregnancy, prosperity and penny pinching together. We have an unbreakable bond and will be friends until we are old and gray and one could argue that we are already old and gray.
For two people who are so close, we could not be more different. I am a hopeless romantic who believes in fairytale endings and Jel is the complete opposite. We hung out yesterday for coffee and shopping and got to talking about men and relationships and I could not stop laughing at her take on love. I pulled out my phone and start recording her because I didn’t want to miss a thing.
Here are some quotes from my afternoon with Jel:
1) A man can be a great friend, a great father or a great lover but it’s rare to find one man who can be all three.
2) At this stage in your life Ilana, you should stop looking for a husband and focus on finding a great lover.
3) I would like to have a great love life with someone who does not want to spend the night because I like to sleep alone and enjoy my solitude.
4) It is an unrealistic expectation, for both men and women, to think that one person can be everything you need.
5) If you want to talk about your day, call a girlfriend and do not bore the man in your life. He does not care.
6) If you want to have great sex, don’t share all the crap about your day because it will be better sex if he is focused on only you, not every detail of your life.
The most fascinating part of my day with Jel is that it took me 18 years to figure out she has a man’s brain. It’s a medical miracle and I think she should go on Oprah. She is a woman who lives her life thinking like a man and if I were man, I would be all over her. How rare to have all that messed up love perspective in the body of a smoking hot chick.
I love my friend Jel and so I will go out today and buy her a Josh Groban CD, a Harlequin romance and The Notebook on DVD. It should only take me another 18 years to train her brain to come to a woman’s side of romance. I know I can break her! All I need to do is keep the faith.
December 29, 2009 | 1:16 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
When did people stop being decent to one another while dating? I was thinking about when I started dating, before the Internet, people were decent while trying to meet someone but the fact is people were not really decent then either. If we want to look at dating practices as decent, we need to go back to the 1950’s or earlier.
People talk about there being “rules” when it comes to dating but I think the problem here is that there are too many rules and it’s screwing everything up. I’ve read books and seen old movies where women were actually courted and men were held in high esteem. I wish that would come back in fashion.
Somewhere along the way men stopped respecting women and women started taking advantage of men. I’m not talking about the entire human population so save your hate mail. I’m just saying that both sides slacked off and stopped trying to be decent.
I know really fabulous women who have been alone for a long time because they just can’t be bothered with dating and really great men who are with women who just don’t make any sense because they can’t be bothered working for something great when something good enough can be easily found.
I bet the 1960’s were a good time to date. There were fewer hang ups and an ability to be free with opinions and sexuality. Now women over think and over analyze everything. If we have sex too soon we’re sluts and if we don’t have sex right away we’re prudes.
Men seem to think that women don’t know what the difference is between 5’4” and 5’11” and believe being separated and divorced are the same thing. Women are consumed with fear about having sex and worried about what men think about them.
If we all just relaxed things would happen organically. Dating in our 40’s is a whole new ballgame. We’re divorced with children so nobody is thinking we are virgins and those games need to stop. We all need to stop lying, believe in ourselves, and not be so scared.
It’s the time of year when we make resolutions for the New Year and mine will be to be decent. Not just in how I date, but in general. Being nice takes no real effort and when you are kind, decency tags along for free.
Men will always lie and women will always play games but we can at least try to be decent. All you are required to do is make an honest effort and keep the faith.
December 28, 2009 | 1:17 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Dating is hard and in LA there are elements that I think may be harder than in other cities, but overall, regardless of where you live, it’s hard. For some reason however, I always thought it would be easier at home in Canada. I have long believed that if I still lived in Canada I would be re-married by now to a “regular” guy.
I love Canada and have hung on to a trace of an accent even though I’ve been in the States for almost 20 years. I love Canadian men. Granted the majority of my dating life has been spent in Los Angeles, I like Canadian men and when I come across one here, it makes me happy. There is something authentic about being a Canadian.
Last night I reconnected with my friend Cheryl from high school in Toronto. I found her on Facebook, sent her a message and within 5 minutes we were on the phone and talked forever. It was as if I had just been with her for dinner and time stood still and we were teenagers again.
She is a hilarious and straightforward girl and I love her. We have great memories together and it’s a joy to have her back in my life. I moved away, got married, had a baby, got divorced and life happened. We lost touch for no real reason.
We caught up on each other’s lives and got to talking about dating. She’s not been married, YET, but is dating, having ended a relationship a while back. I mentioned to her that I thought dating must be easier in Toronto because Canadian men are so great.
We are the same age and date the same type of men and so I was waiting to hear about how great her dating life is and well, not so much. She met a guy recently who was lovely. They went out for coffee and it was great. They hung out for a long time and had a wonderful kiss tonight.
He calls the next day and asks her to a movie and she is excited because this is just how it should be. No games. You meet, there’s a connection, you go out again. She gets to the theater and he has selected a foriegn art film with subtitles. Interesting selection.
They get up to the cashier and he orders one ticket. Fine. She buys her own ticket and they go in. They get seats and once settled in, he pulls a soda can out of his pocket and gives it to her, then cracks one open for himself, and the movie starts.
The movie is impossible to follow and of no interest to Cheryl but she sticks it out. After the movie he notices that she did not drink her soda so he took it and put it back in his pocket. He walks her to the car, another great kiss and then nothing. She does not hear from him again.
Really? I get that movies are expensive and dating can be costly for men but this was just weird. I’d rather a man say he’s tight on cash and ask me to go dutch than just surprise me. What if she didn’t have any money with her?
I will never understand how dating works and why men do what they do and say what they say. This whole time I kept telling myself my nightmare dates were because I was in Los Angeles but the truth is that dating is dating no matter where you are.
Men are men, Canadian or not, and maybe at 43 I am finally ready to stop trying to figure them out and just hope that I meet one that is a little more evolved than the rest. He does not need to be from Canada as long as he knows where it is.
I love my friend Cheryl and am so happy to have found her after all this time. I look forward to seeing her again and creating new memories. It was worth it to have my “Canadian Dream Man” bubble shattered, in order to have her back.
I hope she meets someone wonderful to share her life with and whoever that man is, he will be very lucky. We are both single and searching and I look forward to sharing our dating experiences together and having a front row seat to dating in Canada.
At the end of the day, no matter where you live, when it comes to dealing with men, women need cross their fingers, hope for the best, always have cash and remember to keep the faith.
December 25, 2009 | 1:23 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
So last night was Christmas Eve and while I was tempted to stay in and watch It’s A Wonderful Life, I went out with my girlfriends Paige and Monica to the Commerce Casino for an evening of poker.
I have never been to a Casino in Los Angeles and so I thought it was going to be like walking into a little piece of Las Vegas. When we got there it was indeed exactly like Las Vegas and by exactly of course I mean it was like an episode of COPS - Las Vegas.
It reminded me of what it must be like on visiting day at Pelican Bay. There were about 500 people, who under different circumstances would really frighten me, and then us, three Jewish Charlie’s Angels. If I hadn’t been so fascinated I would of burst into tears, peed my pants in fear and begged that we go home without even sitting at a table.
Paige sat with a man who had no teeth, another who was missing 4 fingers, one who was clearly intoxicated, an old lady who was sleeping at her seat, and a lovely gentleman who got pissed off with each hand he lost and threw the cards down with disgust for everyone at his table.
Monica and I were at a table with a lady who said she plays for 17 hours in a row and appeared to have head lice, one who was missing a large chunk of her nose, a crystal meth addict, another drunk and a man who kept saying Mazel Tov to the winner of each hand.
It was crazy and while I can say that I will not be doing that again soon, the truth is I can’t wait to go back. We played for about 4 hours and it flew by. I didn’t win any money and neither did Monica but Paige came ahead a few bucks.
It was a fun night so thanks to the girls for the adventure. To those of you who celebrate Christmas I wish you a lovely day. I will partake in the ancient Jewish tradition of an afternoon of movies and a scrumptious dinner of Chinese food.
Last night I learned when to hold them and when to fold them. Poker is very entertaining as long as you can block out who are playing at your table and remember to keep the faith.