October 30, 2009 | 1:23 pm

Condom Shopping

Posted by Ilana Angel

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When was the last time you spent 20 minutes shopping for one thing?  A couch?  A car? A present?  For me it was a pair of shoes.  I wanted gorgeous chocolate brown high heals for my son’s Bar Mitzvah and it took me about 45 minutes to find the perfect pair and it was worth every minute and every penny.  I figure it’s got to be something important if you are going to spend a lot of time looking for it. 

Yesterday I was at Rite Aid picking up a prescription for my son’s allergies and there was a line of people waiting and for the record the Rite Aid at Coldwater and Fulton always has a line and the people who work there are never smiling but I go there even though it’s annoying because it is close to home and there is a Starbucks next door so if I get a cup of tea before I go in it is a little less painful. 

So I’m waiting in line looking around and see that next to the register is a shelf of condoms and I never noticed how many different types of condoms there are but let me tell you something, there are a lot.  I’m looking at the selection and frankly amazed at all the options when a man walks up and starts to study the choices but it was weird because he was not picking up the boxes just reading the front of the packages and he was really focused occasionally crouching down and then standing up and scratching his head.

I was in line for 15 minutes and he was looking at condoms the entire time and I was fascinated and wanted to ask him what he was thinking, what the big decision was or if he needed any help then I got to the front of the line and was disappointed because I wanted to know how long he would stay there and what he would buy so I waited a few minutes to see if he bought anything but he was still just looking and thinking.

Good for him that he is practicing safe sex, or perhaps just dreaming about the day he can practice safe sex.  It’s a curious thing to spend over 20 minutes looking at condoms and by curious of course I mean odd.  The amount of choices I imagine would require some time and consideration but if it were me I might do my research online and then sweep in for the purchase. 

To the interesting and conscientious man who spent so much time researching condoms I wish you well, commend your dedication to making sure you get the perfect item and remind you that when you utilize your purchase, keep the faith.

October 29, 2009 | 1:30 pm

Adat Yeshurun

Posted by Ilana Angel

May God Bless and keep close all those involved in the shooting this morning at Adat Yeshurun in North Hollywood.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and the Jewish community as a whole.

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October 28, 2009 | 1:01 pm

Farewell Bill Basch

Posted by Ilana Angel

Bill Basch

I am going to a funeral today and rather than blog about the struggles of my single life I would like to tell you about my friend William Basch who passed away this week at the age of 82.  Bill was a Holocaust survivor who was featured in the documentary ‘The Last Days’ and I was blessed to know him.

Bill was in the Buchenwald and Dachau concentration camps in Germany and helped save Jews while working in the underground resistance movement in Hungary.  In speaking of the Holocaust Bill said, “In order to survive, we must accept the responsibility of being our brothers’ and sisters’ keeper.  Each one of us must do our share of improving our society one day at a time. We all have the ability to defeat evil in our own way.”

I travelled the world with Bill and the other featured survivors from the film ‘The Last Days’ and I remember when we were screening the film in Washington, DC, we were getting ready to leave and I noticed there was a film poster left in the corner and Bill said we should take it with us.  My son was about 6 years old at the time and a fixture around the Shoah Foudation.

Bill pulled out a pen and wrote a message on the poster to my son and signed it.  He then made sure that all the survivors from the film signed it with a message to my boy.  He said that one day they would be gone and my son would have the poster and know that they were all here and survived and he would have the power share their stories because he knew them. 

I treasure the poster as does my son and it is incomprehensible to me that when the Nazi’s marched into Hungary Bill was the same age my son is now. Bill Basch was a funny, kind and thoughtful gentleman and I will remember him always and hold him in my heart. 

It is a clear and beautiful day in Los Angeles and fitting to lay this wonderful man to rest on such a day.  Take a moment today to remember the history of our Jewish family.  I wish you peace and health and remind you to keep the faith.

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October 27, 2009 | 9:36 am

Baby Steps

Posted by Ilana Angel

There are days when I think I am actually getting better at understanding how men think and therefore one step closer to meeting my Beshert but then something happens that blows that theory right out of the water and even though I take two steps forward I end up getting pushed four steps back and so in the end it’s better to take your time with baby steps because even though it may take longer to get where you’re going the setbacks will be smaller.

I decided I was going to be brave and write someone on JDate so I took an hour out of my life, did a search and sorted through the masses to find someone intriguing and yes I rejoined JDate after I said I never would but don’t judge because it’s a necessary evil and by evil of course I mean that it can work and if I give up I could be quitting just before I’m about to meet a great guy and I’m trying so you need to be supportive and by you I mean those who are rolling their eyes wondering why I put myself back on the hell train.

So I find someone I think is interesting and send him a note.  He is divorced with kids, lives in Santa Monica, handsome, tall, looks like he’s in his early 40’s though he says he is 53 and he wrote about his kids in a way that was charming and kind.  He really did appear to be a good guy so I send the note and he writes back right away to tell me that he is going out of town for 2 days and can we chat when he gets back.  I wish him safe travels and plan on talking to him when he gets home.

Then last night I’m on JDate reading an email when I see that someone is trying to IM me and even though the name of the person looking at me is the name of the guy I wrote the day before the picture is not of the same guy.  I look closely and realize that it is in fact the same guy only he has aged about 20 years and even better than that, upon closer investigation it would appear that he is now 2 inches shorter and has lost most of his hair.     
                                                                         
I figure he posted a picture and got some attention then panicked that he was presenting himself as someone he wasn’t anymore but forgot that people already saw his old profile and even though he thought better of it and came clean he now just looks creepy and I feel duped.  I can totally understand the panic in putting yourself online and I get that there is stress with picking a photo and writing about yourself but I will never understand the lying because the truth always comes out in the end and isn’t it better to be a little shorter, balder and older than a liar?

I know these issues are not specific to JDate it just seems worse to find them there because I would expect Jews to behave decently and perhaps that’s naive and silly because we are all just people and human nature is the same but there is a certain expectation and therefore disappointment in it being a Jewish site because it just does not have to be that way and I would hope that Jewish men would be the exception to the rule which is silly because I only date Jewish men and here I am dealing with this and to be fair women do the exact same thing.

I wish my old, short, bald, lying new friend success with his search for love and I will go back to the drawing board because sometimes you just need to wipe the slate clean and start over and even though starting over can be daunting if you focus on the big picture you can laugh at the setbacks and take a baby step forward while keeping the faith.

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October 26, 2009 | 12:47 pm

JDate Update

Posted by Ilana Angel

Recycled man called to say hello and that he was sorry he had been out of touch and that he’d like to talk to me.  Te recap, we went out on 1 date 5 years ago then he recently found me on JDate and we went out on a couple of dates.  He was funny and lovely and we had a great date then I never heard from him again until now 3 weeks later.  Is he kidding me?  It only takes a minute to call and say you are busy or something is going on in your life.  You can’t call 3 weeks later as if you had spoken yesterday.  I should have known better than to go out with someone who voted for Bush.  Twice!

I got a call last week from the girlfriend of “Richard” to let me know that she forgave him and they were living together and were going to get married.  I seriously think this chick is a loon and the weirdest part is that I found myself feeling sorry for Richard.  This is a nice guy who got off track due to some personal setbacks and I will never understand how a man can go online and meet a woman and date her while he has a girlfriend.  To recap, I was the one he dated and I found out he had a girlfriend when she called me after seeing my number so many times on his cell phone bill.  I hope Richard takes care of himself.  She forgave him for cheating but he needs to forgive himself and move on.  I never condone cheating and I still feel sick that I contributed to this woman’s pain but she is crazy and I think this is not a normal cheating situation.  I wish Richard and Crazy well and I thank God that I never crossed a line there.  It’s good to be a lady.

Mr. Israel has vanished.  To recap, we talked on the phone for a couple of weeks because my mom was visiting and went on one date before he was leaving for Israel to visit his family for the holidays and we left it with our going out when he came back and I never heard from him again.  It was never going to be a love connection but it was a nice date and we enjoyed each other’s company and for him to vanish is just flakey and a reflection of him not me.

I met all three of these men on JDate.  Interesting.  I think it’s time for a change and I’m not sure what the change is because I honestly think JDate can work I just have not figured out how to make it work for me.  I’m going to think this one over and get back to you.  In terms of JDate it may require more than just my keeping the faith.

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October 25, 2009 | 2:25 pm

Growing Pains

Posted by Ilana Angel

Last night started off normal enough with my son and I having dinner and talking about our plans for the evening.  My son was going to a birthday party for one of his buddies so I would drop him off and head out to a work thing then have dinner with friends and pick him up at 11.

Important to note that I’m not a fan of the home where the party was and I did not want him to go at all because I worry things can get out of control when there is such lax supervision but he is almost 14 and should not miss out on stuff because of me so I put my concerns aside and let him go. 

When I dropped him off I told him to text me a couple of times so I know he is okay and I realize that may be over protective but he is my only child and if he checks in I feel better and he does it even though he thinks it’s lame because he knows it makes me happy and by makes me happy of course I mean that he understands that if I don’t hear from him I will drive over there and he will be mortified.

He called at 10:15 to see if he could sleep over at the party and when I told him no there was a flash moment of him thinking I was the meanest mother ever but it passed and I let him know I’d be there at 11.  He called back just before 11 and let me know one of his friends moms was going to bring him home so I did not need to schlep over.  Score.  He’s coming home and all is well.

Five minutes later he walks in the front door and he is covered in blood.  I of course flip out only to have him explain that it is fake and from some Halloween thing they were doing which is annoying to me but simply the funniest thing in the world to my son which is even more annoying to me.

He then tells me that the police came to shut down the party which made sense because I was wondering why he agreed to come home without a fight or begging.  Turns out the birthday boy had invited about 20 kids and double turned up and the neighbors called in the cops.  His first police shut down party and he’s not quite 14.  It’s the beginning of the end.

I can remember the day he was born, the first time he told me he loved me, the time he ran away from home when I would not make macaroni and cheese for breakfast, the first time he asked me to dance, the first time his heart was broken and now he is a young man who was at a party where the police were called in.  How did time go by so fast?

It’s an odd day when you realize your baby is growing up.  It does not matter how hard you prepare it’s always going to be hard.  I can see my future filled with nights at home waiting for the front door to open.  It’s exciting to watch him become a man and scary to watch my baby growing up.  I can only trust that I have raised a decent human being and that it will all be okay if I keep the faith.

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October 24, 2009 | 11:56 am

Reality TV Guide

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s time for an update on reality television and by update I mean that I think I should have my own reality show and by have my own show I mean I am trying to find a way in which I could hang out with Mike Fleiss all day and not have it appear that I am creepy, crazy cat lady who follows him around like a lost puppy unless the show were about the life of a crazy cat lady who has given up on dating and spends her nonexistent free time searching through JDate in the hopes that maybe she missed the one frog who had potential.

Today I am going to the set of The Bachelor, Monday nights on ABC starting in January, to interview Chris Harrison about love and faith and the paths that some people take in order to find a partner.  He has really seen it all hosting The Bachelor and I look forward to hearing what his take is.  I can’t wait for this season to begin.  The girls are beautiful, there are a couple of train wreck chicks that will be perfection to watch and Jake is the first Bachelor in a while that I feel is sincerely looking for love.

Survivor, Thursdays on CBS, is the same thing every season but I watch in case there is someone compelling and this time around it is Russell.  Not the attorney Russell who left this week due to illness but Texas Russell who is the most vile and disgusting player to ever be on the show and in my opinion, the sexiest.  I love this guy.  He is playing the game brilliantly and he has the ultimate bad boy image of the guy you know you should stay away from because he will break your heart but you can’t help yourself and by can’t help yourself of course I mean he reminds me of men I have loved and clearly I need to try something new and by something new I mean Russell, call me.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is divine and these chicks are seriously crazy.  It’s one of those things that if you watch your eyes will start burning but you can’t turn away.  Their boobs and diamonds appear to get bigger each week and they are always fighting and I seriously doubt that they consider their kids at any moment during the filming of this show and if I behaved as they do my kid would be mortified and by mortified of course I mean he is totally mortified by me but he is almost 14 and that is my job right now and he should not take it personally and neither should I as it’s a rite of passage.

Dancing With The Stars, Mondays and Tuesdays on ABC.  The only thing I can really say at this point is that Aaron Carter simply MUST GO HOME.  I will vote for everyone else to make it happen and by saying that I will vote for them of course I mean that I have been voting for them and for some reason America is keeping him there and he makes my eyes bleed.  I want Ms. Osbourne and Mr. Osmond to be in the finale and then I want Kelly to kick Donny’s @$$.  That is good television.

I hope you all have a great day in your own reality.  I will report back tomorrow about my trip to reality heaven.  Thanks to Leslie Zimmer for a lovely time with your group and a shout out to the fabulous Laura Ex.  You are the best Laura and I love you. 

Keep it real and keep the faith.

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October 23, 2009 | 12:01 pm

Random Stuff

Posted by Ilana Angel

1. I am having a love/hate relationship with my hair this week.  It’s long and it’s bugging me.  Long hair is a lot of work and quite frankly I’m just not feeling it and all I want to do it cut it all off.  I struggle with my grey hairs all the time and wanted to grow them out but got talked out of that and am back to my original color and by original of course I mean the color that my hair dresser felt like slapping on there.  If I hate my hair for one more day it’s gone.  Why can men look so handsome bald?  One more day and it’s gone!

2. I think Mother Nature is going through menopause and rather than hot flashes she is cold all the time and is making the weather in Los Angeles hot so she can cool off.  Listen to me lady, ENOUGH.  It is October my dear and if we don’t get some cooled down temperatures for more than a day I am seriously going to hunt you down and kick your @$$.  Is it too much to ask to wear a sweater in OCTOBER?  This goes against every fiber of my Canadian being.  Low 90’s in the valley today.  Really?

3. My PC bit the bullet last week and after a valiant effort to fix it, she has passed on.  She was replaced yesterday with a Mac.  I always thought that Mac people were snobs and when they hear you use a PC there is a look of pity and disgust that crosses their faces.  There is a weird judgmental vibe with these people and I always thought it was pathetic that they would equate their worth with a computer.  I spent last night playing around on my new Mac and I must say that I have been sucked over to the dark side.  I love this computer and I get what they were all talking about.  I’m converted and hope that I can contain my smugness when I come across PC users.

4. I love my kid.  Really, really love him.  I enjoy his company and he makes me laugh.  I share custody with his dad and so he’s been over there for a couple of days and he comes home today and I am so excited.  I actually get giddy when I know he is coming back.  We talk everyday and text all the time but it’s just not the same as having him here.  He has plans with his friends all weekend and I won’t see him that much but he will be here and that is a great thing.  Maybe this will be the weekend I surprise him with my plan that when he goes away to college I’m going to move off campus wherever he is to be close to him.  Maybe it’s too soon.

5. I am fascinated by the story of ESPN’s Steve Phillips and his mistress.  This will be a made for television movie by Thanksgiving.  His mistress is a loon in the most glorious Glenn Close fashion.  I feel bad for his wife and his children but this guy is a pig and his life is unraveling because of his actions not his girlfriend.  I will never understand how men cheat and think it won’t be found out and are surprised when they get in trouble.  I think women who feel it’s okay to disrespect other women by being with their husbands are sad. I understand how hard it is to find love but taking that away from another women is a situation that can not have a good outcome. 

I wish everyone a great weekend.  Love your kids, call your mom and tell her she is appreciated, cut off all your hair and if you’re in a place with normal weather put on a sweater and a scarf and take a deep breath of the fall air for me.  Shabbat Shalom and keep the faith.

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