Posted by Ilana Angel
I have not eaten meat in four years. I was sent a video on Facebook showing the plight of pigs in America and I never took another bite. No chicken, cow, pig, lamb, nothing. I just can’t do it. The thought of eating meat now is unappealing, but I still cook it for my son. Tonight is the 7th night of Hanukkah and a brisket has been requested. I cook meat in my home for my son but can’t think about it.
I use organic meat from farms that kill their animals with compassion not torture. If that option was not available I don’t think I would be able to cook meat because it makes me sad. Today I am making a brisket with the same recipe I've used for years. I have never had anyone taste my brisket and not think it was delicious. Even though I no longer taste as I cook, the recipe is fool proof and always perfect.
I put the brisket in the oven this morning at 8:00. At noon I took it out, trimmed the fat, sliced it, and put it back in the stove for a couple more hours. I am not a meat eater, heartbroken by the treatment of the majority of farm animals, but even though I am mortified there is an animal cooking in my kitchen, I must tell you it smells delicious. The smell of brisket is wafting through the air and I am transported back to my childhood.
Maybe it is the memories that smell so good not the carcass cooking in my oven. My mother is a remarkable chef. She is actually a chef by trade, but apart from the fancy things she has been trained to prepare, her home cooking of classic Jewish food is out of this world. I know many of her recipes and make them well, but my younger sister has perfected them all and you can’t tell her dishes apart from our mother’s.
Tonight I am making salad, brisket, latkes, brussels sprouts with balsamic vinegar, and baked bananas with ice cream for desert. My home smells like the holidays and it makes me happy. Every time I go into the kitchen to check on things I half expect to see my mom cooking. I know how to make these things with my eyes closed but I called my mother to ask her to walk me through the latkes and it was really sweet.
She was thrilled to remind me of her secrets over the phone and was lovely about my “forgetting” recipes I’ve been making for years. I laughed as I pretended to write it all down, knowing that my mother was thrilled to be included in my holiday cooking. It was very special. When my son gets home from school he will walk in and comment of how the house smells like his Grandma’s kitchen and I will smile knowing cooking keeps the faith.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . .
11.29.13 at 1:56 pm | My nest will never empty as my son will always be. . .
11.28.13 at 7:59 am | Think. Laugh. Cry.
11.26.13 at 7:06 am | God places love where we don't always see it.
11.25.13 at 5:27 pm | I would rather spill my own beans than let. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . . (519)
11.28.13 at 7:59 am | Think. Laugh. Cry. (383)
11.29.13 at 1:56 pm | My nest will never empty as my son will always be. . . (375)
November 30, 2013 | 10:42 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am dating a Coach and it has opened me up to a world that I never knew before. I like sports, but they have simply been a source of entertainment not a way of life or place to find inspiration. In spending time with Coach I have learned that beyond the activity and players, lies a group of people so inspiring I have been brought to tears by the words of these remarkable men and women who coach. These dedicated people are a goldmine of inspiration and knowledge.
Part of what attracted me to Coach, beyond the fact he is handsome, funny, lovely, smart, and a great Dad, is how he talks about his job and the kids he coaches. The love and respect he has for his students makes my heart flutter. He is kind, proud, firm, compassionate, tough, and inspiring. He does not just see children, but rather human beings who have tremendous potential regardless of their athletic abilities. He knows he has a responsibility to nurture the future.
In an attempt to understand his world, I have discovered powerful lessons that connect me to faith, hope, love, and survival. There are bad coaches of course, and people who have tarnished the profession, but at the core are people who can lift your spirits, warm your heart, and inspire greatness even if they are not coaching you. These people are gifted and my Coach is included in this special group of teachers and mentors who mix their power with love to do good.
You cannot talk about coaches without mentioning Vince Lombardi. I knew his name of course, but really had no idea why so many revered this man. Some of his quotes are things my father, a huge Green Bay Packers fan said often, but I was unaware they were the words of Mr. Lombardi. Coach Lombardi passed away in 1970 and while I am not a sports enthusiast, he has impacted my life in profound ways. I want to thank my Dad and also Mr. Lombardi.
I got to thinking about my Dad as my coach throughout my life, and my son’s coaches as he was growing up. He played soccer and baseball, and was very talented at both. Some of his coaches were magic, and others were total assholes. Funny how I never really thought about it until now. Not everyone is meant to coach, but there is real greatness in small towns, big cities, and the pros. These people are impacting how children grow up, see themselves, and dream.
Coaches can take a talented athlete and guide them to a career in sports in the same way they can take a not so talented athlete and make them great in whatever profession they choose. My son is no longer an athlete but he learned things from his coaches that have shaped him into who he is and will allow him to excel in his chosen profession. He is smart, strong, confident, aware, kind, compassionate, and supportive in a way he would not have been without sports.
Sports fans are a fiercely loyal and dedicated group. They love their teams, athletes, and coaches in a powerful way. There is good and bad in every profession, and in every fan base, but there is something about sports that is really special. Sports can inspire prayer, tears, laughter, and immeasurable joy. My son feels real love for the teams he supports. He is a Chelsea Football fanatic and is invested in the game, players, and the coach. He gets a lot from them all.
When Chelsea went through a series of coach changes he was riveted. His opinion was shared often and he not only had a perspective on it, but a plan on how to make it all better for Chelsea. He was devastated when Roberto Di Matteo was let go, but felt real relief when Jose Mourinho was named his replacement. He took it all to heart and felt a comradery with the players as if he was one of them. In watching him support his beloved boys in blue I could see who had become.
My little child was now a young man. He knows the players stats, can quote the coach, and when they play he speaks to the TV with heart and support. I asked him why he was so invested and he said the team inspired him to be better, smarter, and focused. He is developing who he will be as a man with the help of athletes he does not know. That is real power. It is when a coach understands this power, and uses it for good that they become great and it is magic.
We are all coaches in our own way. As parents, coworkers, and human beings. We all have the ability and opportunity to teach and inspire. These are few quotes I have discovered that are powerful. They are all sport specific, but if you take sports out of the equation you will see they are meaningful and important in all of our lives. They can be applied to faith, love, hope, pain, joy, and sorrow. They are inspiring and we can relate to them any way we need to.
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
What do you do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it.
You are never a loser until you quit trying.
Most people do not receive nearly enough appreciation. How can this be when appreciation is free, easy, and readily available? All you have to do is speak. Go give some away now.
People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
Don’t go to the grave with life unused.
Victory is in having done your best. If you've done your best, you've won.
You have to do something in your life that is honorable and not cowardly if you are to live in peace with yourself.
A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning.
Billie Jean King
The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
You are a really sweet girl.
Watching sports is not for everyone, but learning from coaches should be. In reading about coaches, both good and bad, I have been given insight into the power of words, power of love, and how far one can travel when believed in. Coaches are a group of people I am learning about, learning from, and appreciating in a way I didn’t know I would. I am inspired by many, crushing on one, and know that in coaching my own child, I inspire him to keep the faith.
November 29, 2013 | 1:56 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am preparing for my empty nest by obsessing about my empty nest. My son is applying to college and God willing he will be off to the next adventure of his life next fall. I am insanely proud of him and at the same time not quite sure how I am going to manage. I will of course, but I miss him when I think about missing him. He is a wonderful human being and while excited to share him with the world, it will be a transition for both of us.
We are very close and I know he is thrilled to be going to college and chasing his dreams, but he is also nervous to be going to away. His college choices are all far from home and though he is the type of kid who will thrive out on his own, he is still my baby and will be a little scared. I struggle a bit when he is not with me for a weekend, but there is comfort in knowing he will be back. All I can say about college is thank God we now have Facetime!
My boy was with his Dad for Thanksgiving and it was hard for me. Holidays are usually hard, but this year, knowing he may not be home for Thanksgiving for a while, was difficult. I was planning on staying home and having a pity party, but in the end decided to embrace the holiday and do something of value. Not only for me, but for others. I can’t sit home for four years waiting for him to call, so I need to start living life in a new way.
I went to the market and bought turkey, bread, cheese, and cranberry sauce. I then spent a couple of hours making 72 turkey sandwiches with a side of cranberries. I got in my car and drove around the valley handing out sandwiches to people who were out hoping to make a little money. Sometimes I simply passed them through my window at a corner, and sometimes I got out of my car to say hello and talk to people. It was remarkable.
Everyone has a story, and while some were unwilling to talk, or even accept the sandwich, others not only wanted the food, but wanted to talk. I met lovely people, some were intimidating, but mostly lovely people who were excited about the holiday and had real gratitude. A mother who lost her job, a drug addict who spoke of how he celebrated Christmas as a child, a young man who asked if he could give his sandwich to his dog Jack.
I sat with that man for a few minutes and it turns out he was a vet who lost his way after serving in Iraq. I imagine the world would be a much better place if we took the time to listen to people’s stories instead of assuming we know about them based on seeing them on the street asking for money. It was a great day spent with some great people and I felt thankful to have done something of value instead of sitting home being pitiful.
I got home and then went for Thanksgiving dinner with some new friends. It was a great night. The food was fabulous, stories were fascinating, and I was able to feel gratitude for having raised a wonderful son with the knowledge that when he is not with me, I am able to have fun and embrace my life. I am a lucky woman and blessed mother. I will never have an empty nest because my son will always come home. I am thankful and keeping the faith.
November 28, 2013 | 7:59 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Happy Thanksgiving. This holiday is a time to give thanks and gratitude for the blessings in our lives. I try to be grateful everyday, but Thanksgiving is special because we are all being grateful together. Since this is my 47th Thanksgiving, I am going to share 47 things I am grateful for, in no particular order, except for #1, because he is always #1.
1. My magnificent son
2. Fiddles the cat
8. Keeping the Faith
9. Keeping it Real
10. Premier League Football
14. BiteSize TV
15. Modern Family
16. False eyelashes
23. The Troops
24. Matzo ball soup
25. Silkie chickens
30. Red wine
33. Memories of my Dad
34. My mom visiting
39. Hugs from my child
40. Gel manicures
42. A good blow out
47. English Breakfast tea
Thanksgiving is a wonderful day and I’m looking forward to spending the afternoon with friends, and being grateful for the blessings in my life. My son is with his Dad and I shall miss him, but be thankful for the large family he has on his Dad’s side as they love him so much. Special thoughts and prayers go out to our troops who sacrifice so much for us to have this day. God Bless them all and their families.
I hope those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving have a holiday full of family, friends, and delicious food. Be kind to a stranger, help someone in need, hug your kids, get someone else to do the dishes, and remember life is a blessing. I am thankful for my life, excited about my future, and grateful for my past. I do not believe that everything happens for a reason, but I believe we can learn something from everything that happens.
Coach told me about an inspiration of his, Jim Valvano, a coach and broadcaster who delivered a moving speech in 1993, shortly before he passed away. He said in part:
To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special. - Jim Valvano
I have been watching this speech a lot this week. I am certain I think everyday, positive I cry everyday, and grateful that I laugh everyday. The truth is I probably think too much, cry more than once a day, and only laugh when I mean it. I am going to start paying attention to all of it and at the end of each day be thankful I have done all three, then remind myself it was a heck of a day and I have something really special.
I am thankful to be my son’s mother. Thankful to have met Coach. Thankful for the love I am shown by my readers, and grateful for the hate because it makes me stronger. I am thankful for my family, friends, and for strangers who through my work have been inspired to laugh, cry, and think. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. No matter how long your life is, it is never going to be long enough, so be happy, and keep the faith.
November 26, 2013 | 7:06 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I think about love often. I am blessed to know love in my family, child, friends, and faith. I have been held hostage by the way love is presented by Hollywood, and bought into the romance sold to me by writers of great love stories. I have dreams and fantasies about how I want love to look in my own life, but in wondering how that looks, I realized love can be seen where we are not necessarily looking. Love need not be complicated.
I got to thinking about love last night and decided I was going to write down five ways I felt love in my life over the past 24 hours. In the interest of full disclosure, and not to brag, I could have listed more, but for some reason the number five has been selected. We have an obligation to ourselves to see the love in our lives. Love makes us feel happy and secure. At least it does for me. I am one that is embraces the feeling of love with hope.
#1. My mother called me at 9:30 last night, which is 12:30 am in Montreal here she lives. She could not sleep and decided she would call and tell me she loved me. That was the only reason for her call. She did not want to talk about anything, she simply wanted me to know that she loved me. The call lasted about a minute as she pointed out this is nothing new because she has loved me for my entire life. That is what loves looks like to me.
#2. My son has been working on a student film for a couple of days and I have not seen him as they were shooting long days and he slept at a friends. We texted a lot during the shoot so I knew where he was and how it was going. Yesterday afternoon I wrote to tell him I loved him. He texted back that he hoped I didn’t hurt myself when I fell from heaven. It was made me laugh from deep in my heart. That is what love looks like to me.
#3. I wrote a rather personal blog yesterday and about ten minutes after I posted it, I got an email from a man in New Jersey who told me his sister had been the victim of a violent crime when she was 27 and passed away. He told me my writing showed courage and that if I am able to find happiness in my life, I am allowing his sister to have happiness also, and that my bravery was impressive. That is what love looks like to me.
#4. When I woke up this morning there was a cat sitting on my head. My son’s cat likes to sit very close and seems to have no sense of personal space. She was staring at me, like she does most mornings, and when I said good morning she put her paw out and placed it on my face. I told her she was pretty, she got a little bit closer and went back to sleep. When I went to get up she winked at me. Literally. That is what love looks like to me.
#5. My son will be with his dad for Thanksgiving. He has a large family and it makes sense for him to be with all of them. I sometimes go to friends, or occasionally stay in on my own. I was unsure what I would do this year but was leaning toward nothing. I got a call yesterday from a friend that was so lovely I said I would join him at his Thanksgiving. He extended a hand with kindness that saw through me. That is what love looks like to me.
As a single woman who wants to share her life with someone, I often wonder what love will look like when I find it. The truth is that I already have it. I have love in my life in many ways. We all do. The trick is to be kind to ourselves and see love in the places God puts it, even if those places are not obvious. I have lots of love in my life and if I am blessed to also have a man in my life, it will be wonderful, so I continue to believe, and keep the faith.
November 25, 2013 | 5:27 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I did something today that I knew was wrong as I was doing it, but I did it anyway. I Googled my own name, then looked at my Twitter timeline from a friend’s Twitter feed, so I could see all the things written about me but I don’t see because I have most haters blocked. Wow. At first I was in shock, then I laughed, then I cried, then I threw my hands up in the air and allowed myself to put aside my hurt and fear to focus on compassion.
It truly was overwhelming to see how much crap is written about me. Not just crap, but true and deep hatred that is sent my way. I have had death wished upon me, called all kinds of horrible names, been criticized for my writing, height, weight, hair, freckles, teeth, you name it, people hate on it. The lengths they will go to in order to hurt me is really rather fascinating. What kind of pain and hurt are these people in to do this?
My bi line photo for The Jewish Journal has me smiling with a closed mouth, so people write that I have no teeth. I recently cut my hair and donated it to Locks of Love in honor of my dad’s birthday, but apparently it was so ugly, they wouldn’t take it. I am a bad writer, too fat to have anyone love me, a bad date, a bad lay, my freckles are hideous, and the best one of all, I am a bad mother who should have my child taken away from me.
There are people on Twitter who are hell bent on causing a “blogger war” of some kind. It is like comparing apples and oranges to compare my work to that of other bloggers. I write for a publication, not myself. I do not ask for money, have a donate button, secure my own advertisers, buy Twitter followers, or work for myself. I am employed as a writer, yet constantly compared to hobby bloggers, which is not a fair comparison.
I answer to an editor, a boss, a board of directors, and frankly my faith. I represent the Jewish Journal, and on a different but as important scale, I represent Jews. I am often referred to as “the Jewish blogger”, and occasionally the “dirty Jewish Blogger”. I take it all with a grain of salt but today, seeing the insane amount of hate, I cannot find a way to not take it personally. These people don’t know me, but openly hate me.
I don’t really get hate when I write about myself, but rather when I write about reality television. I suppose there is comfort in that, but when I don’t write about reality TV, the haters turn to my personal blog to sling arrows. The lesson here is that it really does not matter what I write because they are going to find something to not like about what I say. People don’t have to agree with me, but a little common decency would be appreciated.
99% of the hate comes from people who use made up names and have no picture posted. Funny how brave someone can be when hiding in the shadows. These are lonely and sad people who have found friends online and in those friendships, have bonded in their opinions. They know my name, see my face, watch my reality recap show, read the blogs I write about my own life and worldview, and they think they know me. I suppose they do a bit.
Rather than let these snakes tell the world about me, I will. I was born in Israel, moved to England at 2, and then Canada at 3. I moved a lot as a kid because my father was a salesman. I was a class clown, popular in school, always had great hair, lost my virginity on my 20th birthday, survived a violent kidnapping and rape at 22, spent a lot of time in the hospital and court, got married at 25, and had a baby at 30 after years of infertility treatments.
I was divorced at 30 with a new baby, dated my divorce lawyer, got cheated on 6 weeks before I was to get married again, got broken up with on Facebook, been lied to by people I trusted, and no mater how many times me heart is broken I will patch it up and try again. I believe in love and am currently praying that the man I am interested in is able to take a leap of faith and try to find our way together because he is magnificent and I adore him.
I have been both lucky and unlucky in love, and believe I will be lucky again. I am a brilliant cook, love to clean, am insanely organized, have beautiful handwriting when I try, can iron slacks and a shirt with military precision, don’t sleep well, laugh from a place deep in my soul, don’t remember what my attacker looks like, but remember his voice, and I have survived much greater things than a bunch of bitches attacking me on Twitter.
I have written about every aspect of my life for The Jewish Journal and so there are no surprises here. My son knows about my history and he is fine. The man who will one day love me will know, and he will be fine. I am not defined by my past, I am certainly shaped by it, but not defined. I am a mother and my only obligation is to my child, my God, and myself. Do I care what these people write about me? Yes. Will they destroy me? No.
I think reality television is fabulous, and celebrities are complicated. I think Judaism makes sense, most sports would be better if played on skates, Canada is heaven, Los Angeles is home, my son makes my heart beat, my fear propels me forward, my heart keeps me safe, and my love runs deep. I am not afraid to share my opinions, and have many. To the people who feel empowered by shitting all over me, God bless. I hope it helps you.
I live my quiet life out loud and there are a lot of benefits to that. I have a lot of fears of course, and some days are harder than others, but in the end I have faith. Faith in myself, and knowledge that things will get better. I am a devoted and loyal friend, a supportive and giving partner, a wonderful and loving mother. So now you all know who I am. Say what you want because it won’t matter. I am fine, and you’ll be fine too. Just keep the faith.
November 25, 2013 | 7:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
This is a typical conversation with my child:
Me: Hi. How was your day?
Me: What happened at school?
Me: Anything exciting going on?
Me: What did you learn today?
Me: Great. Tell me about it.
Him: Nothing to tell Mom. I'm going to my room.
The conversation is always the same, unless I push for one more question, in which case I am met with, "God Mom. Nothing is going on. You need to relax." That is quickly followed by some laughing, a tilt of the head implying he is looking at someone pathetic, occassionaly a sympathy hug, and then his going to his room. Not sure if it is his age, that he is a senior, about to turn 18, or perhaps because he is a boy, but I am not digging it.
I am a very lucky woman when it comes to my job as a mother. I have a great kid. He does not drink or smoke, has not done drugs, is respectful of women, is a great driver, and I don't have to worry about a lot of things other mother's need to worry about. Even knowing I am blessed and that things could be way more difficult, his lack of communication is pissing me off. By pissing me off of course I mean he is hurting my feelings. I sound 12.
I have raised this child by myself and I am proud of my work. I managed to put him through 10 years of private school on my own, encourageed him to believe in himself so he could boldly charge into his future by getting into one of the best high schools in the country, and he is applying to a dream list of colleges, any one of which will be lucky to have him. I have done a lot for him, and sacrificed endlessly, yet I can't seem to get a converation?
If we talk about college, which is all I think about these days, he tells me, "I got it Mom". That annoys the hell out of me. Important to note however, that if I want to talk about his car, gas, money, shopping, Monty Python, movies, or music, he will happily talk to me forever. It is only school, college, homework, and his future that gets shut down. Apparently there is nothing to talk about on those fronts because "he's got it covered".
I cry everyday. Not because of the lack of communication, but because I am scared. What if he doesn't get into a school? What if he does? How will I pay for it? Will he hate me if I move where he is and get a job in the cafeteria so I can catch a glimpse of him everyday? I mostly cry because I cannot understand how my baby, my one and only child, managed to grow up so fast. I do not know how we got here so quickly. I am proud, but also sad.
The sadness is for me not him. I am sad I didn't do more with him. When you are a single mother life becomes about work and providing for your child because there is no back up. My child has had a blessed life, but could I have done more? Should we have gone on more vacations? Should I have taken more pictures? Should I have worked less? Will he look at his childhood and think it was great? Will he remember it as I do? Was he happy?
He will turn 18 in a few weeks and time is flashing before my eyes. He plans to go on a big trip after graduation, then college will start, and my oppotunities to have time with him will be down to holidays and breaks from school. It will not be enough. I know right now that it will not be enough. I want more. I am not ready for this part to be over. Is it the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning? What is going on? What do I do now?
At the end of the day I love him. Really, really love him. I know the world is waiting for him and I want to share him, but I just wish I had a little more time just him and me. Time for me to ask questions and be ignored, time for him to go to his room laughing at me, time for me to sleep well knowing he is the room next to mine. I just want more time. Maybe today will be the day I hear about what is going on. Doubtful, but I am keeping the faith.
November 22, 2013 | 8:28 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Today would have been my father’s 75th birthday. I miss him so much there is a physical ache in my heart. He was my biggest cheerleader, the shoulder I cried on, my inspiration to do well, and my in case of emergency person. No matter what obstacle I faced, he knew exactly what to say and how to say it to enable me to jump over it and get back on track. He was wonderful.
He believed in me when I couldn’t, shone a light when I was in the dark, made me laugh through tears, and loved my son in a way that made my heart sing. I have not written here all week because I needed to take a break, but I am writing today in honor of my dad. The fog has lifted and I am able to move forward because once again my beloved father has managed to help me.
My father used to always tell me I was going to be fine. I actually say it about myself a lot now. I am always fine. It occured to me this week however, that fine is not good enough. Life is a blessing and while getting through days just being fine is sometimes enough, we must strive for more than just fine. I want to be fine, fabulous, connected, satisfied, joyful, wise, and happy.
What I want most is to be happy. When I was little and my father would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I woud always say I wanted to be happy. I have not been happy lately but that is going to change. I am in charge of my happiness. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to simply be fine. I will have down times of course, but happiness trumps it all.
Yesterday I managed to muster up some bravery and reached out to someone who matters to me, but I had pushed away. I extended a hand and it was accepted. We spent some time together and it great. Really, really, really great. Risk requires bravery, and bravery can bring rewards. Last night I felt really happy and it was a truly wonderful thing.
I woke up this morning and Googled the word HAPPY to find a quote of some kind to dedicate to my Dad for his birthday. My son suggested a video and it is so special I had to share. You may or may not have heard the song, or be familiar with the video, so sharing it makes me happy. Every single second of this song makes me happy.
I encourage you to visit http://24hoursofhappy.com because it will make you happy. Artist Pharrell Williams, who I have long thought was a genius, has created a 24 hour video. You read that right, 24 hours of random Los Angeles residents lipsyncing the catchy, groovy, and uplifting "Happy" from the Despicable Me Soundtrrack. It really is perfect.
Click through different times of the video, or simply watch when you can, but get through the 24 hours because there are some delicious people who will simply make you happy. If you start at midnight of the 24 hour version, the first person is Pharrell himself. On what is a melancoly day spent missing my Dad, it is now a day of happiness and joyful memories.
I am sad that my father is no longer living, but I am happy for the time we had together and that he was able to know my son. I am sad I wasted time allowing my past to effect my actions, but happy that I came through to a new day. I posted the official video below and I cannot imagine anyone will listen to it and not smile. Pharrell has made me happy.
The best way for me to honor the memory of my Dad is to be happy. It is lovely to donate my hair in his name, it is lovely to keep him in my prayers, it is lovely to teach my son all about him so he is not forgotten. What truly is required of me however, is to be happy because in doing so his dreams for me come true. That is a lovely gift I can still give to my Dad.
Happy Birthday to my wonderful father Robert Angel. Dad, I want you to know not only am I fine, but I am happy. I was quiet this week and found you in the silence. You came to save me like you always do. I feel you in my heart and see you in my son's eyes. Thank you for reminding me to be brave and teaching me to not settle for fine. Your lessons remind me to keep the faith.