November 17, 2009 | 10:44 am

Cougar Town

Posted by Ilana Angel

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It took me a minute to get onboard but I now love the show Cougar Town, Wednesday nights at 9:30 on ABC, and even though I have never dated anyone who was more than 3 years younger than me, and even then it bugged me a bit that I was the old one in the couple, I envy those who can date young and yummy men. 

“Jules and Laurie” from Cougar Town remind me of myself and my friend Laurel who is 27.  I spent a lot of this past weekend with Laurel and it occurred to me that we had the best time with a million things to talk about and there is a huge age difference so it begs the question: is there any good reason for me not to date a younger man?

Laurel and I have an interesting relationship in that the line blurs between who is old and who is young.  We are both teachers and students to each other which is fascinating because I have said to male friends who dated much younger women that they could not possibly have anything to talk about but Laurel and I always have things to talk about and there is a 16-year gap.

She reminds me that I am young at heart and I remind her that she can accomplish anything she wants.  I really love her and by love her of course I mean that I will continue to love her as long as she does not want to date the same men as me because then she becomes my competition and I will have to kick her @$$.

The big roadblock for me is kids.  If I date someone who is much younger and invest time into it and then fall in love with him and he decides he wants to have kids of his own and by then I’m 45 and it’s not going to happen so what do I do then?  I will not only be dumped for a girl with fresh eggs but I will be forced to deal with the fact that it is because I am old.

Maybe Laurel and I should tag team on JDate as a package deal.  We can date fathers and sons, which would be great because she could take the son and I’ll take the dad and if all the stars align and we want to try something new I could date the son and she could date the dad because she is proof that younger can be really great.

At 43 I am in my sexual prime and the most comfortable I have ever been with myself as a woman and a younger man might appreciate that more than a man who takes Viagra and enjoys the early bird special. Laurel thinks I need to do some cradle robbing and she tends to be right about a lot of stuff in my life so maybe this is one of her ideas I should listen to.

All this time I’ve been thinking how great it would be for Laurel and I to date a father and son team and it turns out that maybe the key to that success is my dating Junior and Laurel taking Gramps.  I know I would be a cougar to date a man 16 years younger but would the older man be a cougar for dating Laurel?

This cougar idea is something to think about and if you have not seen the show you really should catch it because it is hilarious and relatable and it was put on the air by Stephen McPherson who I am courting for a job so if you all watch it I can take credit for the ratings boost and he will be indebted and therefore hire me! 

At the end of the day I write all the time about how open I am to love and that I have no expectations about who my Beshert will be but if I’m going to be honest that’s not totally true because I have been closed off to younger men and my Beshert could be one and my friendship with Laurel has shown me that which is exciting because it expands my dating pool.

I’m going to visit Cougartown and will let you know how it goes.  No promises but it’s worth a quick trip to scope out the possibilities.  I know I will find my Beshert as will Laurel and before last weekend I could have guessed how old they would be but if I were promised a million dollars now to name what their ages would be I’m not sure I could do it as she has given me a new option.

To Stephen McPherson, have your people call my people and by my people of course I mean me and I will gladly come and meet with you as soon as I return from my holiday to Cougartown.  To my darling and fabulous friend Laurel thank you for everything that you bring to my life.  We are both on the path to love and all we need to do is keep the faith.

 

November 16, 2009 | 12:14 pm

Soulmates

Posted by Ilana Angel

According to Wikipedia: a soulmate is somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.

One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato’s Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

Some people believe that souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each other’s lives and according to theories popularized by Theosophy and in a modified form by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female.

Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God”. Over countless reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

If this is true then we each get only one.  There is just one person out there who is destined to be our soulmate and when you think about how many people there are in the world how are we ever expected to find that one person out of billions?

Are there different levels of soulmate?  My child’s father is not the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with but I have a delicious child who completes my life so could it be that my son is my soulmate and that is the great love of my life?

Can you go through life constantly searching for this person and never find them because maybe they got tired of searching for you and are with someone else who is really close and perhaps good enough?  Is finding an almost perfect match a more realistic way to look at love and if you do find an almost perfect match do you shut off all parts of you that look or do you keep one eye open?

I have always believed in the theory of a soulmate but to be honest I never really took the time to look up what the true meaning of it was and now that I have I’m thinking it may be near impossible to find.  I will keep looking of course but I must say that it is a little discouraging.

Searching for love is draining and waiting for it to find you is exhausting so where you add in the desire for a soulmate where do you draw the line between a true soulmate a really, really good match?  At the end of the day I can put faith in God that there will be guidance in leading us to one another and place faith in my soulmate that he will not settle and keep looking for me.

I pray I won’t be so tired that I’m sleeping when we come across each other and will remain hopeful that each day brings me one step closer if I keep the faith.

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November 14, 2009 | 1:59 pm

Soulmates

Posted by Ilana Angel

According to Wikipedia: a soulmate is somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.

One theory of soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato’s Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

Some people believe that souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each other’s lives and according to theories popularized by Theosophy and in a modified form by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female.

Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God”. Over countless reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

If any of this is true then we each get one.  There is one other person out there who is destined to be our soulmate and when you think about how many people there are in the world how are we ever expected to find that one person in billions of options?

Are there different levels of soulmate?  My ex-husband is not the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with but I have a delicious child who completes my life so could it be that my son is my soulmate and that is the great love of my life?

Can you go through life constantly searching for this person and never find them because maybe they got tired of searching for you and are with someone else who is really close and perhaps good enough?  Is finding an almost perfect match a more realistic way to look at love and if you do find an almost perfect match do you shut off all parts of you that are looking or do you keep one eye open?

I have always believed in the theory of a soulmate but to be honest I never really took the time to look up what the true meaning of it was and now that I have I’m thinking that it is near impossible to find.  I will keep looking of course but I must say that I’m a little discouraged.

Love is complicated and searching for it is draining but waiting for it to find you is also exhausting so where so you draw the line between hoping and searching?  At the end of the day I can put faith in God that there will be guidance in leading us to one another and faith in my soulmate that he will not settle and keep looking for me and remind myself that each day brings me one step closer if I keep the faith.

Shabbat Shalom.

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November 13, 2009 | 1:11 pm

Aaron Carter Fan Club

Posted by Ilana Angel

Yesterday I blogged about my love affair with ABC and I got an email from someone who I can only assume is the President of the Aaron Carter Fan Club and by assume I mean that I must guess who it was because they were too much of a coward to put their name on their comment. 

“F You” wrote to share the following:  “now that Aaron Carter is gone you can watch DWTS? What did aaron do to you? How about you go KILL yourself before you talk about somone you dont know. That kid has worked so much on the show.. no one is asking you love and vote for him,.. but have some respect for another human being. hope you rot in hell you fucking jew.”

Although I was tempted to correct the spelling and grammar I left the post exactly as it was written because who am I to censor someone else’s words.  I think the words would have been more powerful however had the writer had the courage to put their name on it.  My favorite part of the posting is where I am asked to have respect for another human being in the same sentence that I am called a f-ing Jew.

There is nothing to say to this person but I would like to point out that the show is called “Dancing With The Stars” not “Dancing like a hyper little monkey who cries every time they dance to make people feel sorry for them and then work really hard to be a good dancer but have it be too late because you’ve already grossed out everyone who is watching so your dancing does not matter as much as your annoying personality and trying to recapture a sliver of the fame you used to have With The Stars”.  If they make that show Aaron will win for sure!

I also got an email from Drew who suggested I watch Mercy on NBC.  I’m not sure why I have not watched this one Drew but I will give it a try.  I loved ER and I miss it so this might be a good fill in for that void.  I will let you know what I think about it and thanks for the tip.

I’ve written about my friends Michelle and Jeff who are the cutest couple ever and I love them and aspire to have a relationship like they do because you simply cannot spend time with this couple and not smile because they are poster children for not settling and waiting for your Beshert because if you are patient you will get it right and that translates into happily ever after. 

So Michelle gets in touch last night to say she is grocery shopping at a kosher market and it’s full of single men and I need to come shopping so I asked her how she knew they were single men and she said she knew because they were shopping like bachelors, which translates into buying one piece of chicken which is too funny and by funny of course I mean I will be there next Thursday shopping for one piece of chicken and by chicken of course I mean tofu.

To those of you who follow my blog regularly I must tell you that the Republican is back on JDate and this time around he has listed his age 33 and his height as 6’3” which is hilarious since he told me he was 40 and that he was 6” when really he is about 5’10”.  This guy is an idiot and if JDate had a place to complain about people where I thought they might actually read it or care, I would tell them this guy is a pig and they should ban him.

To Stephen McPherson I don’t think I mentioned yesterday that I think you are a smart and handsome man.  Truly.  I’m not kidding.  We can talk about how brilliant you are when we talk and by talking of course I mean call me.

I’m glad it’s Friday and I hope you all have a great day and a peaceful Shabbat.  Be kind, love your kids, call your parents, if you see members of the military thank them for their service, be tolerant, laugh, live your life without fear, forgive someone, appreciate your friends, be responsible for your actions, don’t give up on your dreams and remember to keep the faith.

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November 12, 2009 | 1:43 pm

I Heart ABC

Posted by Ilana Angel

Last night I discovered that while I have been searching for love I actually fell in love.  It’s official. I heart ABC.  I am having a love affair with ABC Television which is weird because I can remember a time when I watched nothing on ABC and by watched nothing of course I mean they had nothing good.  Now so many of the shows I love are there and spending a night in is more enjoyable than going on a date with someone who lied about his age, height and wife.

It’s odd to me that the ratings for some of these ABC shows are not higher and it begs the question who is Mr. Nielson and who at CBS is trading sexual favors for a few boxes?  I’d like to have a Nielson box in my house because ABC rocks and if the shows I watch are cancelled because someone at Nielson said nobody was watching them I’m going to have to kick some @$$.

Important to note that I don’t work for ABC and by not working for them of course I mean I want to work for them and they should hire me to be their online blogger because I love them and I’m a blogger and that just makes sense.  I figure if I reached out to Mike Fleiss forever and now we’re BFF’s then I should be giving a shout out to Stephen McPherson.  Stephen, Steve, sweetie, call me.  You need a blogger and it should be me because who better to talk about your shows than someone who really loves them?

While I anxiously wait for the new season of The Bachelor to premier in January I’ve been watching some really entertaining stuff.  In terms of reality television it does not get better than Dancing With The Stars and now that Aaron Carter is gone I can watch the last couple of weeks with complete joy.  Extreme Home Makeover always makes me cry and Find My Family is going to kill me but I will watch it and love it.  Super Nanny performs miracles and Shark Tank is brilliant and it’s not because there are so many Canadians on there, its just brilliant.

Modern Family may be the best sitcom on television and if you are not watching it you must because it is hilarious and smart.  Cougartown took me a minute to get because I don’t know any divorced women who look like Courtney Cox Arquette but that said, it has grown on me and you cannot watch it and not love her and her friends.  It makes me laugh out loud and that is hard to do because I’m so jaded and bitter and by jaded and bitter of course I mean I love sitcoms and am jaded because there is a lot of not funny stuff on television and this one is a winner and people need to watch it and bitter because clearly the Nielson boxes are in the homes of people who have no sense of humor.

Desperate Housewives, Lost, Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy are still great and I’m not tired of any of them and the new shows like V and Flash Forward are just good television.  When the FBI agent on V turned out to be an alien my son and I started screaming at the television, which is always a good sign and when Jessica Capshaw gave the speech to Hector Elizondo about being gay I was bawling like a baby.  Of course there are a couple of duds and by duds I mean there are only so many hours in the day that I can watch television so they are duds because I can’t get them on my personal schedule.

I can think of no better job than to watch ABC all day and blog about it and by no better job of course I mean Stephen MacPherson must call me.  I would happily “take a meeting” to get started on my blogging.  It is comforting to know that when I cannot bring myself to go on another JDate I can always snuggle up in bed with ABC but with that said, when I meet my Beshert, and I will, I won’t break up with ABC I will just make sure that he falls in love with her like I did.

Once I start working for ABC I will of course still blog for The Jewish Journal and will still travel on the JDate Hell Train because I’m a great multi-tasker and I’m on a focused mission.  I will find love, share the joy that is ABC Television and my JDate experience will not be complete until I have dated all the men who are married, convicted felons and don’t know the difference between 5’4” and 5’10”.  It’s important to have a goal and all goals are attainable if you just keep the faith.

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November 11, 2009 | 3:07 pm

Back to Blogging

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have not posted a blog since last Sunday and I must say that I have really missed it.  Take a brutally busy week with work and my son and throw in a few bad dates and I just needed to step away from it all for a minute or two. 

My blog is about being over 40 and starting on the road to love again and I get a lot of comments about the limitations that I place on myself by dating only men who are Jewish and I’m not sure why I’m even writing this because whenever I talk about my faith and desire to marry within it I get hate mail.

I don’t plan on having any more children and by plan of course I mean my fingers are crossed but I have a teenage son and before I know it he will be getting married and I want him to continue our faith and have Jewish children so it would be hypocritical for me to marry outside our faith. 

Let’s talk about my dating this week and please note that I know that there are flakey, rude, unfocused and lying men in all faiths but for some naïve reason I feel I will get a better quality of man if I’m with a Jew but in the end a man is a man regardless of faith and even though these men are all Jewish I imagine it would be the same even if they weren’t.

Pinocchio, who told me he was divorced when really he was separated and said he was sober for 20 years when really he smokes pot called to tell me that his divorce was final and he wanted to go out to celebrate and by celebrate I’m sure he meant smoke a joint.  When I told him that I was happy for him but did not think our going out to celebrate was a good idea he told me I was a liar because I said I would not date him unless he was divorced and implied that he somehow got the papers in order so that we could go out. 

I explained that it was not just the divorce that was stopping our going out so he assured me that you can be sober and smoke pot.  Now I’m not sober nor do I have any issues with addiction but I have seen every episode of Intervention and am certain that if you smoke pot you are no longer sober.  He then wished me a good life and hung up on me.

I then got a call from the Israeli.  I could not contain my surprise and he could sense it and asked me if everything was okay so I told him I was surprised to hear from him since we’ve had 1 date and 4 conversations in 3 months and his response was “I move slow.  What’s the rush?”

Is that not classic he’s just not that into you?  I think one date in 3 months is beyond moving slow.  He asked me out for Saturday night and while I think he is lovely I’m just not feeling it because If there was something there he would have called and now I worry I’m over-thinking it.

I got 4 emails this week on JDate from men in their 20’s and I don’t get that at all and it’s never going to happen but bless them for writing.  I got 2 emails from men over 60 and again lovely to be contacted but it’s never going to happen because I just cannot see myself with someone much younger or older.

I forced myself to spend time on JDate and found a man that I thought was super attractive and had a great profile with lots in common with me and I wrote him and what was weird is that he looked at my profile everyday for 4 days, sometimes up to 6 times, but never responded so I guess at the end of the day there is no rhyme or reason to dating because it’s a game that has a ton of rules yet no guidelines and you never know if you are playing right or fair and just when you think you’ve got the hang of it the rules change and you are disqualified.

I’m getting back on the horse this week and by horse of course I mean the JDate hell train because with risk comes reward and I am a firm believer that if I put in the effort I will be rewarded with love.  It may just be a greater love of myself but love is love and it’s all about keeping the faith.

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November 10, 2009 | 1:49 pm

Tomorrow!

Posted by Ilana Angel

Keep the faith that tomorrow I will be back to Keeping The Faith.

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November 9, 2009 | 3:23 pm

Day Off

Posted by Ilana Angel

I’m taking the day off.
See you tomorrow.
Have a great day and remember to keep the faith.

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