Posted by Ilana Angel
1. I got the most beautiful golden tinted tan yesterday but the unfortunate part is that I never left my apartment and the tan was achieved while sitting on my couch listening to the A/C unit tell me to go &*$@ myself.
2. I have officially crossed the line into obsession with my Facebook Farm and will be going off to FB rehab for a few days and by a few days I mean as soon as I am done blogging I need to harvest my eggplants.
3. I am taking my son to see KISS at the Staples Center and even though I will be wearing ear plugs, a t-shirt I bought at their concert 20 years ago and have a taser gun and bi-focals in my purse, I still feel pretty cool.
4. If you have a great date and he waits 2 weeks to call and then when he does he acts like he just spoke to you yesterday then you should not go out again because 2 weeks is ridiculous and he would have called earlier if he dug you right?
5. If you were once in love with someone will you always be in love with them or can you just love them without being in love because the reasons you loved them in the first place are still there so can love conquer love in the end?
6. Prince Not-So-Charming never called but continues to look at my profile on JDate and it’s actually creeping me out so I blocked him from being able to see me and I’m thrilled to have only 4 days left on my subscription.
7. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that Mike Fleiss has not called me but I understand that he is a mogul and very busy so I’m going to cut him some slack and give him 3 more days to call. 7 weeks and 3 days. That’s it Mike Fleiss!
8. The cat has decided she only needs 20 minutes of sleep and is going to take it in the afternoon and then she is going to spend her time playing with toys, hacking up fur balls and finding ways to get comfortable sitting on my head.
9. I am going to partner with my friend Laurel to be each others wing men and we are going to start scoping out men by hanging at the post office, Whole Foods, car washes, Home Depot and the tool department at Sears.
10. My mother’s been here for 4 days and her favorite topics of conversation are my delicious son, my having a baby, JDate, the African heat, Chinese food, the cat, my getting married again, my too fast driving and the color of my hair.
Shabbat Shalom. Have a peaceful day and always keep the faith.
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September 25, 2009 | 10:21 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I’m done and have seriously had enough. I never thought the day would come when I would admit this publically but here we go my friends…..I AM SO OVER THE VALLEY.
I’m sure part of it is because I am Canadian and there is just something unusual about it being over 100 degrees in September. There is nothing attractive about sweat. Well sometimes there is, but not when you’re walking from the house to the car. How do you look cute when you’re melting?
The Fall is a time for tight jeans, warm sweaters and fabulous boots. Not flip flops, sleeveless shirts and shorts. I bet it’s cooler in Africa than it is in Sherman Oaks. I want to move to Kenya just to get some cooler temperatures.
For those of you not from Los Angeles there is a rivalry between the people of “the valley” and those from “over the hill”. They are west side snobs. I have staunchly defended my beloved valley from the bashers who live on the west side. They can talk about their ocean and cool breezes all they want and it does not faze me.
I live in a wonderful neighborhood, close to everything I need, great schools for my son and the beach is totally accessible at just 20 minutes away. Of course by 20 minutes I mean with no traffic which means I would need to drive to the beach at 2 am but still, it can be done in 20 minutes and that is my point.
I simply cannot stand another day of 100 degree temperatures. It’s wrong. I want to put on a sweater, get a Starbucks and look super cute in my jeans and boots. Because of this heat I am officially on a dating hiatus. No one should have to spend time getting cute only to melt while walking to the car. It’s just not right.
I have three meetings today, all in the valley. The valley is literally hell on earth these days and whenever I walk past the control of my central air unit I swear I can hear it mumbling that it hates me. I am certain it is going to boycott at any moment.
As soon as it cools down I will deny that I wrote this blog. I will say my bashing of the glorious valley was brought on by heat stroke and I could not control myself.
Enough with the heat already! All I can do is stay strong, whisper sweet nothings to my air conditioner, pray nothing happens to it and keep the faith.
September 24, 2009 | 12:00 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Have you ever been in line somewhere and you see someone who catches your eye and when you take a moment to actually look they are looking back at you and there is electricity?
That happened to my friend Laurel yesterday and instead of acting on it she let it slip by. Even though she wanted to say hello and part of her thought he would, in the end neither of them did and now she is kicking herself for not being brave.
How is it that when we are searching for love we get so busy with the looking that we fail to see? Why can’t we be brave when it comes to chemistry and fate?
Laurel saw this beautiful man in line at the post office and they locked eyes and something was there. They both smiled and she went on with what she was doing thinking it was just a quick thing but when she looked up he was still staring at her and for the 10 minutes she spent in line she could feel him watching her.
Normally we would not think twice about it but Laurel has a couple of friends, Heather and Glen, who had a similar experience. When they saw each other they both felt an instant something but Glen did nothing so Heather gave him her card, he emailed, they chatted and are together today with a ring in Heather’s future.
There is something that is very beautiful about being bold. It is sexy and strong and when a man is bold about reaching out to a woman it is fantastic. It actually happens a lot, just not with the men you would expect.
Why is it that the men we are not attracted to have no problem approaching us and asking for numbers or a date but the ones who we are attracted to let us slip by? Why are the “you’re brave but it’s never going to happen” men more common than the “you’re beautiful so be bold and ask for my number” men?
If I see someone and he sees me and there is an unexplainable thing happening, I’m going over to say hi. I’ve been bold and brave and it always pays off and when I’m cowardly and not strong I always regret it.
Sometimes you need to just jump in and worry about the temperature of the water later. We never know why someone comes into our life and maybe a chance encounter at the post office is a sign that should not be overlooked.
So if you were at the Pasadena post office yesterday and made googoo eyes at my friend Laurel then get in touch and I will introduce you. She is a wonderful and beautiful girl and you blew it but we are going to give you a second chance because so did she.
We see people all around us every day. Every time you step outside your front door, or as a matter of fact every time you answer your front door, there may be a chance to find love. (I’ve got a story about a water delivery guy I will perhaps share later.)
Searching won’t matter if we don’t see what we are looking at so open your eyes, pay attention, be bold, remember you are beautiful and keep the faith.
September 23, 2009 | 10:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Is it better to play with a toy all night or have another body next to you to keep you company? This is a topic I struggle with daily. I will wait here for a moment while you all get your minds out of the gutter so you can finish reading my blog.
I’m still waiting.
My son got a cat for his 13th birthday. He had wanted one forever so when his Bar Mitzvah came we decided it was time. He researched shelters and rescues and located the cat he wanted online. I was really proud of him and his cat is now a member of our family.
I really love her. She is very sweet and entertaining. She follows me around and when we are sitting on the couch I look down at her she will mumble something as if I can understand her. I freaking love this cat.
I am going to pause here for a moment to come to terms with the fact that I am in the beginning stages of becoming a crazy cat lady. Give me just a minute.
So the thing with the cat is that she likes to play with her cat toys. Little stuffed mice, balls with bells and worm shaped crinkly things. They all make noise and she simply loves them. The problem is that she only likes to play with them at night and it’s annoying.
She is bored when we are sleeping and needs some type of stimulation. The question becomes do I get her some new toys that don’t make noise or do I cave and get her a companion?
Do I put the needs of my cat above my own fears of becoming a cat lady? One cat is cute, two cats is questionable, three cats is the beginning of the end, four cats and I’m waiting for my kid to visit me while I order my own toys online.
I think we’ll be getting another cat. I will tell people one is mine and one is my son’s to try to make myself feel better. At the end of the day I enjoy this cat and I will enjoy her new little buddy and they give my child happiness and that is what’s important.
As for me being one step closer to being a crazy, single cat lady, I will worry about that after I change the kitty litter. On this one I’m going to have to reach out to all of you for help and ask that when it comes to our impending adoption, you all keep the faith.
September 22, 2009 | 11:38 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am a huge fan of the show More to Love. I felt strongly that Luke should pick ANYONE but Malissa and I was happy it was Tali. At long last love has been found on reality television.
I feel these two are keepers and will get married and yes I admit that it is pathetic and sad that I actually think people go on reality shows to find love and his proposal was from the heart not his attempt to secure 15 minutes of fame.
This morning it occurred to me that I have not seen Luke and Tali on any talk shows, news shows, entertainment shows, nothing. If you Google them all the finale stuff comes up but no update about where they are. Seems a little strange to me and makes me wonder if the unthinkable could have happened.
Is it possible that this couple, who met on a televised reality show, fell in love and got engaged after 5 minutes, have actually broken up?
Are me, Trista and Ryan the only people who believe this can work? If Luke and Tali are still together and off somewhere planning a wedding then someone should let us know because I want proof. Where are they? I want to know that the time I spent investing in these people was not wasted.
I’m going to keep watching these shows until I find another Trista and Ryan. I want a reality show happy ending and am disappointed that this might not have been it. I love reality television and I think it can work. I also think JDate can work so clearly I have no real sense of what reality is.
To Luke and Tali I am sure you are off somewhere planning your wedding and living happily ever after as you run through meadows with butterflies and take a unicorn ride through a rainbow so send me a picture. Do an interview. Do something. Do anything. Just show you are together.
Finding love on a reality show could happen. All it takes is a healthy dose of delusion and the ability to keep the faith.
September 21, 2009 | 11:15 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
1. I am beginning to think that I would rather stick my hand down my own throat and remove my kidney than spend one more day on JDate.
2. I am not sure why Mike Fleiss has not called but I’m not giving up because I know he will call one day, we will have lunch and I will worship him in person as that is how it is meant to be.
3. I think the Emmy show last night was great and Neil Patrick Harris was fabulous and the In Memoriam was brilliant and Jeff Probst should not be winning an Emmy.
4. I am addicted to my farm on Facebook and actually set my phone alarm yesterday to harvest my pumpkin patch and no good can ever come of that.
5. I will never understand the appeal of Ryan Seacrest and the fact that he makes so much money, has so many jobs and is so famous is in fact one of the unexplainable wonders of the world.
6. I am baffled by the men who write me on JDate and my current favorite is “Bruce” who is 60 years old and assures me that even though he is out of my age range I will never know because he takes Viagra which by the way is the name of his dog.
7. My mother is coming to visit this week for 12 days and I will try hard to not let her voice filter into my blog but if I start writing about how I should have another baby, consider dating a nice man from Israel and try to convince you that the speed limit on Coldwater Canyon should be 25 mph then you will know I have failed.
8. I am over being single and by over it I mean I am over having to sort through so many frogs to find a prince and by sorting through frogs I mean that at this point if you were a decent toad I would probably be interested.
9. I love this time of year, am happy that today is the last full day of summer, went to a beautiful Tashlit Service yesterday and look forward to Kol Nidre which is my favorite.
10. Even the most positive people wake up some days and no matter how blessed their life is, no matter how much hope they have, there are just some days where it’s tough to keep the faith and that’s ok because tomorrow is another day so for those of you who are struggling today know that I will keep the faith for all of us.
September 20, 2009 | 12:09 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
There is a special moment when a New Year begins where everything seems possible so we set goals and it feels like we can actually stick to them and follow through because it’s a clean slate.
My goal for the year 5770 is to stay true to myself and find a fabulous Jewish man who is strong enough to take on a challenge like me and more important than finding this man, I have resolved to stop dating the wrong type of men and am going to turn up the volume on my a**hole detector.
Last night was the first night of the New Year and my goal of starting off on the right foot was shattered because I was stood up for a date by “Michael” who I met on the JDate Hell Train which is no surprise because I think there must actually be something wrong with a man in order for JDate to accept their registration.
We made plans to meet for dinner on Saturday night and ended our 30 minute lovely conversation with him saying he would call me Friday to check in and confirm. No call. No confirmation. No email. No cancellation. No class. No way.
The thing is that for women when you’ve set up a date the days leading up to it are full of promise and possibilities because he could turn out to be fabulous and when men cancel they immediately become Prince Not-So-Charming and we are left wondering why which is a waste of time because at that point who really cares why.
Rather than allow this cowardly and rude man blow my resolution, I’m going to adjust my thinking and make him my first, last and only a**hole of the year. What a relief to have that out of the way for an entire year and what a blessing that not another day shall be wasted on those who are not worthy.
By an entire year of course I mean that my resolution track record is usually about 3 weeks so YAY for the next 21 days of enjoying an a**hole free life and by those who are unworthy I mean I am a magnet for those men so in the interest of breaking old patterns and I will turn off my loser magnet.
I wish a happy and healthy year to all those who are searching for love and continued joy for those who have found it. I believe it’s going to happen for me this year and I can trust myself because I’m an Angel and if there is one thing Angel’s are really good at it’s Keeping the Faith.
September 18, 2009 | 10:46 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I don’t know what most lifestyle bloggers do but I write every day. I write about me and my friends and our little piece of world.
My postings take a look at dating as a single parent over 40. I’m not changing the world just making fun of myself and I like to think they’re humorous.
I got a call from my friends “Ralph” and “Alice” informing me that some of my postings were too serious and they wanted to let me know that I’ve lost my funny.
They are a fabulous couple who are hilarious and a perfect match. Back in the old days, when I was funny, I liked them a lot.
I think I should give all of you their contact info so they can provide you with a funny email each and every day. I’m sure every word will keep you in stitches.
For their first date Ralph rolled up in a 1969 El Camino that had such bad springs every time he drove over the slightest bump Alice would hit her head on the roof.
Alice overlooked his deathtrap and enjoyed the date because he was charming and funny. Ralph was impressed by her because she was real and decent.
It’s been almost 20 years since that first date. You just never know where you will find love and you never know what people will think is funny.
Alice found love in the front seat of a El Camino and Ralph found it because he had the faith that Alice would always keep the faith.
As the New Year begins I will look forward to finding love and getting my funny back. Shanah Tovah.