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Jewish Journal

What Does Love Look Like?

by Ilana Angel

November 26, 2013 | 7:06 am

My morning view.

I think about love often. I am blessed to know love in my family, child, friends, and faith. I have been held hostage by the way love is presented by Hollywood, and bought into the romance sold to me by writers of great love stories. I have dreams and fantasies about how I want love to look in my own life, but in wondering how that looks, I realized love can be seen where we are not necessarily looking. Love need not be complicated.

I got to thinking about love last night and decided I was going to write down five ways I felt love in my life over the past 24 hours. In the interest of full disclosure, and not to brag, I could have listed more, but for some reason the number five has been selected. We have an obligation to ourselves to see the love in our lives. Love makes us feel happy and secure. At least it does for me. I am one that is embraces the feeling of love with hope.

#1. My mother called me at 9:30 last night, which is 12:30 am in Montreal here she lives. She could not sleep and decided she would call and tell me she loved me. That was the only reason for her call.  She did not want to talk about anything, she simply wanted me to know that she loved me. The call lasted about a minute as she pointed out this is nothing new because she has loved me for my entire life. That is what loves looks like to me.

#2. My son has been working on a student film for a couple of days and I have not seen him as they were shooting long days and he slept at a friends. We texted a lot during the shoot so I knew where he was and how it was going. Yesterday afternoon I wrote to tell him I loved him. He texted back that he hoped I didn’t hurt myself when I fell from heaven. It was made me laugh from deep in my heart. That is what love looks like to me.

#3. I wrote a rather personal blog yesterday and about ten minutes after I posted it, I got an email from a man in New Jersey who told me his sister had been the victim of a violent crime when she was 27 and passed away. He told me my writing showed courage and that if I am able to find happiness in my life, I am allowing his sister to have happiness also, and that my bravery was impressive. That is what love looks like to me.

#4. When I woke up this morning there was a cat sitting on my head. My son’s cat likes to sit very close and seems to have no sense of personal space. She was staring at me, like she does most mornings, and when I said good morning she put her paw out and placed it on my face. I told her she was pretty, she got a little bit closer and went back to sleep. When I went to get up she winked at me. Literally. That is what love looks like to me.

#5. My son will be with his dad for Thanksgiving. He has a large family and it makes sense for him to be with all of them. I sometimes go to friends, or occasionally stay in on my own. I was unsure what I would do this year but was leaning toward nothing. I got a call yesterday from a friend that was so lovely I said I would join him at his Thanksgiving. He extended a hand with kindness that saw through me. That is what love looks like to me.

As a single woman who wants to share her life with someone, I often wonder what love will look like when I find it. The truth is that I already have it. I have love in my life in many ways. We all do. The trick is to be kind to ourselves and see love in the places God puts it, even if those places are not obvious. I have lots of love in my life and if I am blessed to also have a man in my life, it will be wonderful, so I continue to believe, and keep the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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