I had two dates last week with two completely different men. While both lovely, they could not be more opposite. Date #1 was with a financial advisor. He is just shy of 6 feet tall, has a full head of salt and pepper hair, dark brown eyes, divorced with 3 kids, and 56 years old. He is attractive, sweet, and painfully shy.
To be fair, it might be that he was just shy with me, and he could be a brilliant conversationalist with someone else, but with me it was difficult. Our conversation was slow and awkward which is hard for me. I can talk to anyone. I am a good talker so to have a situation like this is odd because I don’t run into this problem often.
This man just had nothing to say, and while I’d like to think my beauty left him speechless, the fact is he is could not carry a conversation, or make eye contact with me. He is successful so I assume he is simply better with numbers than he is with people. On paper we are a great match, but in person it all fell horribly flat.
The second date was with a man who is my same height, 52 years old, owns his own business, has a brilliant English accent, very short hair, and gorgeous blue eyes. He is divorced with two kids, has a gentle soul, a strong presence, and made me flutter. While he does not look like men I usually date, his personality was killer and his manners were perfect.
Our conversation flowed easily, was fun and funny. He made me laugh, made me think, and we got deep. We talked about everything. We fell into a rhythm easily and it was wonderful. I have not had that with a date for a while. He felt like my friend. A friend who also happens to be a great kisser. Yup. We kissed, and it was great.
The interesting thing about my date with #2, is when I first saw him I thought he was cute, but by the time we finished, I thought he was handsome. Our connection made me see him in a different light. We spoke on the phone last night for hours and it felt like minutes. It is a pleasure to have things be easy with someone.
The funny thing is when I went out with #1, it was Saturday night so I got dolled up, and felt pretty, but he never said I looked nice. For #2, it was lunch, I was in the middle of writing a story and was not really into the date. I threw on jeans, some lip gloss, and brushed my hair. The first thing he told me was that I was pretty.
Both men were Jewish and while not at the same level of observance as I am, they were both menschy and felt safe to me. I don’t know why I feel safer dating Jewish men, but I do. It is my culture, my faith, and how I define my relationship with God, so it just matters. I met two lovely Jewish men this week and one has some potential.
I read an article today by Rabbi Ariel Bar Tzadok about soulmates. I believe in a soulmate. A Beshert that I am destined for. God willing we each get more than one because I feel like my ex-husband was my Beshert. We have a remarkable child together and he is equal parts of us both, so he was my Beshert when it came to motherhood.
I am hoping that I will now find a Beshert for me. I go on every date thinking it could be my last first date. If I didn’t, I would not have the strength to date. After a series of bad dates, #2 was just what I needed. It was a great date, a great kiss, and a great feeling. I’m not saying he is my Beshert, but he was a great date.
Writing a column about searching for love is not very helpful in my search for love. One could argue that writing about my personal life will turn off a man who may be interested. I would counter that the man who can handle it is the man who will win my heart. I’m not sharing dirt or private things, just my opinion, of my life, and it’s all good.
Date #2 is away for spring break with his youngest child and will be gone for a couple of weeks. We will see each other when he gets back and I’m excited. I don’t know if he is my Beshert, and frankly it does not matter. I know he made me laugh, made my heart flutter, and most importantly, reminded me that life is better when I keep the faith.
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