May 9, 2011 | 9:30 am

The Real Housewives of NYC are Drunk, High & Ridiculous

Posted by Ilana Angel

Follow JewishJournal.com on

Ramona and Cindy

I’ve got a ton of housewives to catch up on so here is a quick recap of last weeks NYC ladies.  I will be back shortly with the women of OC and then tonight we have Bethenny. Oy Vey!

- Jill is back from Australia vowing to not gossip anymore.  She’s back for 5 minutes and gossiping as is her life depended on it because she simply cannot help herself.

- Why are there no people in the restaurant while they eat lunch?  Where in NYC is there a restaurant with only one table of guests at lunchtime?  Even the dumps have people I them.

- Sonja is high. 

- Alex and Simon are creepy and the scene of them giving their boys a piano made my skin crawl.  They are weird, they talk to their kids weird, and the kids are clearly humiliated by their parents.

- Sonja and Kelly have lunch with Sonja.  Kelly’s job is to make sure she has friends, not acquaintances.  She is too old to not be friends with people. Kelly is oddly sweet, although totally a whackadoodle.

- Ramona says sorry about her drunken text.  Kelly and Ramona work it out and try to clear the air to be friends.  Neither one of them means it, but the faking is entertaining.  The speech about understanding where people are coming from made me laugh out loud.

- Cindy goes over to Sonja’s for tea.  Sonja’s furniture is 20 years old and her “household staff” is actor wannabes who probably “work” there for free.

- Sonja lets us know she is a socialite and needs to help Cindy behave properly.  Sonja tells Cindy there is a pecking order and people are friends with Cindy because Ramona tells them to.  Ramona is the Queen of the pack.

- Sonja is high.

- Ramona is selling her jewelry as if it were Tupperware and then says she and Mario came up with the idea of women selling at home.  Really?  Ramona invented women selling things form home like Bethenny invented the margarita.

- LuAnn is mortified by the Tupperjewels and drinks Ramona’s wine to be kind but clearly does not love it and makes fun of Ramona and her lack of knowledge of where her wine is made.

- Kelly and Cindy run into Jill in the park and the gossiping continues.  These chicks are insane and do not behave how me and my 40 something friends behave.  I’ve never seen anything like it.

- Sonja is at a baseball game in the most ridiculous outfit I have ever seen a grown woman wear.  She looked like a whore and I imagine at some point her ex-husband will have something to say about it in terms of the custody of their child.

- Sonja invites people over to learn how to cook in a toaster oven.  The oven is 20 years old.  She is clearly having financial problems.  Just because she owns that townhouse does not mean she has money.

- Sonja is high.

- Jill goes to make up with Alex.  Alex does not feel safe with Jill.  Alex craps all over Jill, Jill says she was sorry, and it’s all quite sad.  Jill is never going to cut a break from these women and Alex is insane.

- Ramona has drinks with Cindy and Cindy tries to understand her so they can be friends.  Ramona is having none of it.  She stares at Cindy like she is about to kill her.  It’s creepy and crazy.

I am slowly losing interest in these women, which is a drag because they were always my favorite.  It’s sad to watch them.  Jill is still the most entertaining, but even she has become pathetic in her attempt to get along with anyone.

I liked her better when she had balls. Alex now has Jill’s balls but you can’t put Jewish balls on a waspy supermodel and expect her to know how to handle them.  This show is dying a slow and painful death.  I will stick it out till it’s last breath though, so I’m keeping the faith.