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The Real Housewives of New York City, Crazytown Goes On Hiatus

by Ilana Angel

June 4, 2010 | 9:30 am

Ramona & Mario, The Happy Couple

We start off the season finale at The Pierre Hotel, for a walk through with Ramona and her wedding planner.  She picks her room, is very excited, and so the “wedding” finally comes.  She is so giddy and cute, that I find myself very happy for her.  I guess 17 is the milestone anniversary.

Jill and Bethenny are at lunch.  It’s weird and awkward.  Jill is anxious, and Bethenny is clearly over it, and was probably asked to throw Jill a bone by the producers.  Jill does a brilliant impression of Kelly, by acting as if she has no idea of what she has done, or said.

It’s fascinating to me that these women are unable to acknowledge what they do and say, when it’s all on tape.  They may not remember, but we do. Editing can do a lot to paint you as someone you are not, but their words have stronger power than the editors.  They are crazy, and we have proof.

Bethenny keeps it together, and let’s Jill know that she is not the friend she once was, and it’s been crushing.  Jill of course says she feels the same way.  Then Jill, right in front of us, hops on the Kelly train to Crazytown, and the lies and delusion start to flow like Pinot Grigio at Ramona’s house.

Jill is slobbering, and doing the ugly cry.  She then explains to us that Bethenny has no reason to not be her friend.  Really?  Is there cocktail service on this train?  If Jill thinks she has done nothing to make Bethenny want to walk away, rather than deal with her madness, she is a loon.

Jill says she will be fine if they are not friends.  Lie.  She asks Bethenny is she wants to be friends, or have it just be over.  When Bethenny takes literally one second to think, Jill shouts out that she is not going to beg her to be her friend.  Look at yourself Jill.  You need to start begging.

Jill plays dumb, and says she does not know what happened between her and the entire group.  Really?  It’s sad because she gave us the impression she had changed, and wanted to right her wrong.  In the end, not so much.  Bethenny is calling her out, and all she can say is that she is not perfect.

Jill says she tries to do the right thing every day.  She wakes up with the best of intentions.  Bethenny points out that Jill is not only having problems with her, but with most of the ladies.  Jill falls apart and start balling, while Bethenny, completely composed, sits like a lady.

There is only so much a person can take, and Bethenny has clearly hit her limit.  Jill is saying that Bethenny is right, and she needs to eliminate all the toxic people from her life.  What?  Jill is agreeing with Bethenny on things that Bethenny never said.  Jill, she is saying the YOU are the toxic one.

Jill is complaining about everyone, blaming everyone, and Bethenny is sitting, eating her lunch.  It’s fabulous.  Bethenny wraps it up, says she is done, and is ready to go. Jill says she has grown as a person, will now be a better friend, and try to not hold grudges.  Whatever.

Jill has crossed over the dark side.  By the dark side, of course I mean Crazytown, where Kelly lives.  It’s a land where everyone forgets what they said, or did.  They live as is there are no repercussions for their actions, or lasting memories of their words.  Plus, all the furniture is made out of candy.

It’s the launch party for the Countless and her song.  She looks gorgeous. The night is all about her, but Jill wants to talk about her lunch with Bethenny.  I thought she learned her lesson, and was a changed woman?  It’s the biggest night, for her only friend, and she wants to open baggage.

Jill will never change.  LuAnn talks about how her new boyfriend is coming, and Jill says it’s working out because HER psychic who predicted it.  The Crazytown meth whore arrives and she looks like a tranny.  Seriously, it’s time for this group of ladies to go away.

LuAnn’s boyfriend Jacques arrives, and he looks like a young Dustin Hoffman.  He is French, and very cute, and I think he had a great vibe.  They look sweet together, so good for her.  He is charming and lovely, saying hello to all the ladies.  LuAnn looks so proud and happy.

Jacques makes a b-line for Jill, and is telling her he’s heard so much about her.  She responds in perfect Jill fashion, by saying she’s had a bad day.  Sometimes I just want to hit her.  By sometimes, of course I mean most of the time we see her now.  She is incapable of talking about anything but Jill.

LuAnn goes to sit with the girls, to see what they thought of her new man. Jill wants to talk about whether of not she invited Alex.  She has learned nothing and Countless will eventually tire of her.  The Countless sings her song, with her synthesizing mike, and I dug it. Jacques is dancing, and I like him too.

Jen, the newest lady, says she likes the song, and LuAnn is like early Madonna, Oh. My. God.  Please cancel this show.  The ladies are talking about Ramona’s upcoming wedding, and if they are all going.  Jill is not sure, and Sonja calls Jill on her crap and says she was out of line coming to St. John.

Countless is talking over Sonja, Sonja tells her to shut up and let her speak, LuAnn agrees she is talking over her, tells her she is right, then talks over her again to say she is sorry.  Countless is hilarious.  Sonja is hammered, and we are reminded that she is fabulous.

LuAnn shuts it down, and says they need to move on.  Kelly, the Mayor of Crazytown, raises her glass, and says money can’t buy you friends.  What money can buy, is a relationship with a bunch of people you don’t know, and put you on television.  It would appear Bravo can buy you friends.

Bethenny is packing up her apartment, as she prepares to move in with Jason, and start her life as a wife and mom.  They are cute, and I think her show will be entertaining.  I’m looking forward to watching it.  I’m hoping it’s funny and light, so we can recover from all the darkness and drama of Jill.

Ramona is getting her hair and make up done, because it’s vow renewal time.  I like Ramona.  I like Avery, her daughter.  I would advise her however, to work on her 14 year old twinge of a whine that she’s got going.  She sounds negative, about everything, and it’s annoying.  Teenager annoying.

Ramona is getting ready, when Jill comes by to say hello.  Let’s just stop for a minute.  Jill has arrived, at a fancy wedding, and she is carrying a large beach bag that has her picture on it!  She is carrying around a bag, with her own picture on it.  Did anyone else see this?  She is a whack job.

Ramona is getting ready, and it’s all about her, but Jill wants to talk about Jill.  Ramona calls her on her crap, and tells Jill she needs to not be so self absorbed.  That goes right over her head, and she responds with the question, how could SHE miss the wedding.  Again, all about her.

Alex and Simon walk into the wedding.  Simon goes over to Jill and says hello.  She says hello to them both, then looks into the camera and says that she is a grown up, and went over to say hello to them.  Does she not know we can see her?  Simon approached her.  She did not go and say hi to them.

Again, Bravo, please take this show away from her.  It’s not cool anymore.  Bethenny arrives and she is wearing a dress with feathers, and she is worried about PETA.  Sonja informs us that she shoots birds, and has a hat, that has feathers from all the birds she shot.  This chick is made for TV.

Crazy arrives, and Jill tells her she needs to adjust her boobs.  She looks more and more like a man every time we see her.  Kelly has not been in the door one minute, when Jill is up in her face, talking about her lunch with Bethenny.  She is beyond out of control.

Ramona is upstairs having a moment with Avery, and it’s lovely.  Meanwhile, downstairs, Jill is trashing her party.  Complaining that they are not serving food, and they have been waiting.  Honest to God, this woman has lost her mind.  I truly think there is something wrong with her.  With all of them.

The event planner comes to tell them to be seated, and Jen Gilbert, is horrible.  She turns to Kelly and asks if she would pay for someone like that to plan her party.  Jen went from being the sweet new one, to a catty, gross, bitch, just like the rest of them.  Cancel this show already.

Ramona and Avery are fighting about how the dog is going to walk down the aisle, and it’s hilarious.  It takes this serious moment for them, and puts it all into perspective, and I think it’s great.  It was a moment that made her just a woman, with a teenager, and I loved it.

The ladies are seated in two teams, on either side of the aisle.  Good versus evil.  It’s funny.  Ramona makes her ridiculous entrance, for her ridiculous wedding renewal, and as her and Mario, start to speak their vows, all I can think is that I love them and their ceremony.

It was beautiful.  I don’t care that it’s a random 17 years.  Couples should do this every year.  Even if it’s just in their living rooms, and it’s just two people, this should be done in all marriages, as a reminder to why people got married to begin with.

Both Ramona and Mario said beautiful vows, and I will admit that I cried.  I actually cried during their vows.  I loved them both, loved Avery, loved the ceremony, loved it all.  Whatever you think about this woman, she is in love with her husband, respects their life together, and is a class act.

Jill is congratulating Ramona, and instead of saying how wonderful it was, she says she is glad SHE came. Shut up Jill.  Kelly gives Ramona a book of the bikini beach pictures she took in St. John.  Who brings a gift to a wedding and makes the bride open it right there?

Bethenny has a moment of friendship and love with Ramona and Alex.  She thanks them for their support, and it’s sweet.  They came out of the year as friends, which is interesting, because that’s not how they went in.  Ramona tells Countless to start the party by singing her song. The lip-syncing begins.

Alex tries to talk to Jill and have a nice exchange, but Jill blows her off.  These chicks are so high school.  It’s sad really.  Jill hugs Bethenny and pretends they are friends.  She tells her they can get past it.  Bethenny tells her she’s got a lot of changing to do, and Jill responds that she can’t change.

Dear Lord.  I think she actually cannot hear anyone speak but herself.  That’s a difficult way to live your life.  It’s exhausting watching these ladies, so I can just imagine how tired they must all be living their lives.  This show was too much this year, and I hope it does not come back.

Next weeks reunion show looks great.  It will be interesting to see how Bravo handles this show, now that the women involved are falling apart.  We have New Jersey, and then Beverly Hills.  At some point, this will run its course and be over.  Will New York be the first one to dismantle?  I’m keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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