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Jewish Journal

The Biggest Loser

by Ilana Angel

December 9, 2009 | 12:29 pm

There is a certain online dating site that is specifically geared towards helping Jews meet other Jews.  I won’t mention it by name because why should they benefit from my naming them when all they do is take my money and do absolutely nothing?

Last night I got a letter from a man in Oregon.  It was really long and explained to me, in great detail, how he could love me, we need to meet, he will travel to all ends of the earth to find love and he is certain it could be me.  He is not Jewish.  He is not in my desired age range.  He does not consider English his first language.

Let’s go through some of the men I have had the pleasure of meeting through this dating site in the last few months and see if we can determine who is the biggest loser.

Richard:  We dated for a month before I got a phone call from his girlfriend.  He told me he wanted to be exclusive which was fascinating since he was already in a committed relationship.  I found out about her when she called after finding his calls to me on the cell phone bill.

Brad:  He told me he was divorced and had 3 kids.  Turns out he was separated, in the throws of a divorce, still in love with his wife, who had cheated, and actually had 4 kids not 3.  He was worried if he told me about all 4, it would be a turn off.  Good call.  Lying about your kids is a much better way to go.  Bravo.

Keith: I gave him my number, he called, we went out, he called again, we made plans, I asked for his number, he said he would give it to me after our next date, I told him I was not going out with him again without the number, he cancelled because he does not like ultimatums.  I wonder what his wife thinks about that?

Avi:  He called, we had a great date, he said he would like to go out again, I told him that would be great, he called a month later, I said it had been a while, he said he had been busy, we made plans to talk the next day, he called two weeks later.  I passed.  I wonder what his wife thinks about that?

Brian:  The soon to be ex-husband of a friend of mine.  Never going to happen.  I wonder what his wife thinks about that?

Joseph:  A Republican who lied about his age, his family, his height, his personality and his goals.  This one is a piece of work because I see his profile online and each and every time he has a new age, a new height and a new picture.

I am sure the women are just as bad as the men in terms of lies and hidden agendas but I don’t have any experience there.  Important to note, it’s not just me.  I have a lot of friends on this site and we all agree that the quality of men is just not what we were expecting.  Perhaps there are so many women who are looking to play around they can toss out those who are serious.

I’m sure I will get the standard “You’re not meeting anyone because you’re a bitter hag” emails and that is ok.  I’m a little jaded but not defeated or bitter.  I’m actually a pretty great lady and I will not give up.  I’m giving up on this dating site, but not giving up in general.

I want a witness to my life.  I want to walk through the rest of my life with someone.  As my son gets older and marks his own path, I want someone to be by my side.  I want all the things that come with a relationship.  Good and bad, I want it all.

I am blessed to have been in love before.  I have had one great love in my life and I know I will have it again.  I have my son, my friends and my work so I will be busy while I wait.  I feel a sense of tremendous relief to finally walk away from this Jewish online dating site.  At some point you’ve got to accept it’s just not going to happen there and my time is now.

To the men who continue to lie and mislead, karma is a powerful thing so I would watch your back.  To the women who are hopeful that they will meet their Beshert, I wish you all the best.  Be strong, don’t let it get you down, avoid bitterness, own the fact that it will jade you a little and remember to always keep the faith.

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