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The Bachelor Brad Womack: Prince Charming or Douchelord?

by Ilana Angel

February 16, 2011 | 10:13 am

This week’s Bachelor was gross.  I want so much to believe in this show because I love Emily and I want her to be happy and find love, but with each week I find Brad more and more sleazy.  I hope he picks anyone but Emily so she can be the next Bachelorette.  Or even better, she meets a normal and great guy at church, gets married, and calls it a day.

The gang has gone to Anguilla.  Gorgeous.  Brit says that she never thought she’d be able to go someplace so beautiful and it’s a bonus to find “romance”.  There you have it, in the first 30 seconds of the show we know she is going home.  The other girls are all professing their love for Brad, and she hopes to fine “romance”.  Not going to happen Brit.

Emily gets the first one-on-one date and a helicopter comes to pick them up.  Emily says that Brad does too much for their dates.  Really Sweetie?  Here’s the thing, he is not doing anything for your dates honey.  He is simply following the script.  He is not paying for any of it, or making any decisions about what you do.  It’s television my darling girl.

They have the “this is so scary talk” and it’s lame.  Everything Brad says is making my skin crawl and everything that Emily says makes me want to shout at the television, “Run away from the Douchelord Em!”  As the second date card arrives, I can’t help but think that if I had a daughter, I would rather her find love with a convicted felon than on the Bachelor.

This show brings out all the insecurities of women and makes them act ridiculous.  The stroking of this man’s ego is insane and he is gross.  I did not like him the first time he was on the show, have been vocal about how lame I think he is this season, and with each week I find myself more pissed off at the producers for wasting our time with this dumbass.

Emily says at dinner that she is not sure she wants Brad to meet her kid if he comes to her hometown.  Good for her.  I really hope she sticks with it and does not allow him to meet her.  It will be interesting to see what she decides to do.  Emily is the only thing about this season that is even remotely interesting and does not make me want to stab myself.

Shawntel N. has her date.  She is super cute and totally wasting her time with Dumbo.  I skipped over their entire date because I am fighting the flu and they were making me feel even sicker which I did not think was possible.  Next date is with Brit, poor thing.  It was over before it even began.  It’s a miracle she lasted this long, but she is out.

Sidebar:  There is a site dedicated to The Bachelor called Accept This Rose  It is entertaining and totally worth taking a look at.  Take a look even if you hate this show because it’s funny.  They have posted a funny video that you can watch here: Brad’s Tips For Dumping a Girl  Make sure you read the subtitles!  I may blog about this show, but these chicks are serious, and it’s great.

For the group date they have decided to have the girls audition for porn. It’s the most horrific thing that this show has ever done.  The girls are all asked to take their tops off at a bikini photo shoot and it’s mortifying, but more importantly, completely inappropriate and damaging television for women.  They turned sweet girls into skanks.  Funny, but not cool.

Brad behaves like a pig, and then says he is sorry.  He does that a lot.  If it walks like a pig, and talks like a pig, it’s a douchelord.  Chantel O. is unstable and needs to be medicated.  We’ve been talking about how Michelle is crazy one but let’s be clear, Chantel is the unstable one.  She is a mess and watching her is sad.  It makes me laugh, but still totally sad.

Chantel is crying, does not want to talk to Brad, and is happy to simply humiliate herself on television.  She is bawling, telling Brad to just send her home.  She is unraveling and it’s sad.  She is pushy and bossy, but she is also vulnerable, recently divorced, and I feel for her that she is putting herself out there and feeling bad about herself.

I believe in love and believe in this process, but this season is forcing me to take off my, pardon the pun, rose colored glasses, and see that in the end it’s mean.  This season is mean spirited and I think a lot of that is due to Brad.  He never should have been allowed to come back.  Giving him another chance makes a mockery of the process and treats the fans like morons.

Sidebar:  This week’s US Magazine has a cover story about Brad and his “Double Life”.  Brad’s ex-girlfriend, Laurel Kagey tells the mag that Brad was asking her to marry him just before he started shooting the new season.  Interesting of course that she waited until now to come forward, but whatever, she did, and I believe her.  Is Brad a fraud just in it for the money?

Kagey shares text messages from Brad, which would indicate that she is telling the truth.  He did another season for the money and perhaps so that he can pick nobody, proving that she is the one he loves, and then getting her to marry him.  He dated her before his first stint on the Bachelor, after the first time, and before the second time.  He’s a snake.

It’s an interesting article and I recommend it.  On January 10th, in talking about Kagey, Brad told US, “It’s sad that someone would drum up something that’s completely false.”  About his new love from the show, he says, “She’s very feisty.  She does not put up with many of my shenanigans and I like that.”  Well there you have it, he did not pick Emily!

Emily is a lot of things, but feisty is not one of them.  I’m thinking he has picked Ashley and I bet by the time the behind the final rose special airs, there will be tension and they will be broken up by the summer and he will marry Kagey.  This show is lame and how long can I really watch, hoping that they will find another Trista and Ryan?  It’s getting harder every season.

Michelle is sent home and in the limo ride she lays down in the car and says nothing, while they play crazy girl music.  It’s actually awesome and the best scene of the night.  We see scenes from next week that give a lot away.  Emily introduces Brad to her daughter and it’s not a fit.  I figure he’s dumping Emily and she will be the next Bachelorette.

Shawntel takes Brad to the funeral parlor and clearly she is getting dumped.  It will be Chantel and Ashley in the finale and I’m thinking he goes with Ashley, and then dumps her.  Blah, blah, blah.  This show is deteriorating before our eyes and it’s a shame.  I will give them one more shot at getting it right, but it’s make it or break it time for me and this franchise.

If the next Bachelorette is someone good, that I want to find happiness, like Emily, I will watch.  If its someone lame, I’m out.  If anyone in the Bachelor camp is listening, let me just say this, we believe.  As long as we believe we will watch, but you are pushing it.  There is a big difference between watching with hope and watching to simply make fun of you.

It’s a brilliant concept and I am a fan.  I love this show and want so much to see a happy ending.  I have strong opinions, and no difficulty separating the mensches from the douchelords, and the darlings from the skanks, but I’m losing my patience.  Just because a lot of people are watching, does not mean we like it.  Do the right thing.  We are all keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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