November 30, 2010 | 12:53 am

Skating With The “Stars” May Be the Worse Show on Television – Ever

Posted by Ilana Angel

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The axed Sean Young.

I have decided to keep watching this show.  Not because it is good, but because it is so bad.  I love reality television and I write about it a lot.  This show however, is being written about not because I love it, but rather because every single second of it is a nightmare.

It would be hard to pinpoint what the bottom of the list is as there is so much to choose from.  Is it the set, costumes, host, judges, commentator, contestants, hair, or make-up?  The choices are endless so the conclusion is that every second of this show makes me want to harm myself.

The host, whose names I cannot remember, is useless.  The commentator is a moron.  The professional skaters are forgettable, and the “stars” are pathetic.  The costumes are ugly, the hair styling is uglier and the make-up is the ugliest of all.  Why is this show on television?

As I ask myself this question for the 10th time in 10 minutes, I get a nugget of gold that forbids me from turning it off.  Vince Neil falls and when he tries to get up, he almost pulls his partner down.  I laughed out loud.  Loved it.

Dick Buttons is drunk, Laurie Ann Gibson is an idiot, and Johnny Weir is the one thing that I can stand but he is wasted here.  He is a hoot to watch and his make-up and hair today were clearly done by the Marie Osmond Doll Shop.  Come on Johnny, be careful sweetie.

Bethenny Frankel is on this show and it’s painful.  She is gross.  She cries about how she is not sleeping and I’m so sick of it.  She has spent the last year telling the whole world that she gets no sleep.  We don’t care.  She is a whiner, and a self-promoter, and I cannot stand to hear her voice.

She wants us to feel sorry for her and how hard her life is.  Shut up Bethenny.  Her husband is in the audience watching, along with Andy Cohen and it’s all just icky.  I go back and forth on this woman.  Sometimes I love her, and other times I cannot stand her.  Today, she is annoying.

Laurie Ann Gibson does not make any sense.  The host, what’s his name, keeps trying to reel her in but to not avail.  She is a loose cannon but not in a “reality television gold” way, but more of a “someone fire this chick before we all impale ourselves at the sound of her voice” way.

Sean Young fell tonight and while I know it is not nice, I could not stop laughing.  She appears to be seriously medicated and it’s fascinating she is able to stand on skates, let alone be given skates.  She is a mess and I love her.  By love her of course I mean train wreck.  Whoo hoo!

Rebecca, the chick from some soap opera, who was married to Bob the Bachelor, is a great skater.  You almost forget she has no personality.  Almost.  She looks like a young version of Sean Young which I think is a little creepy, but I’m guessing Sean hates it, which I find entertaining.

Just when I convince myself that I can watch this show next week because Sean promises some good television, she is voted off.  Really America?  Don’t you get that she should have stayed for the train wreck element?  I’m so disappointed that she is leaving.

This show is horrible.  No matter how hard I talk myself into a reason to watch it, it is horrible.  The good news is it’s only on for 5 weeks so I’m not wasting more than a few hours.  I just need to think of it as a quick trip through hell and even hell is bearable if you can keep the faith.