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The Sexual Negotiations of Online Dating

by Ilana Angel

April 1, 2012 | 12:20 pm

PLEASE NOTE: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS MATURE SUBJECT MATTER AND MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL READERS.  IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE PLEASE DO NOT VIEW.

I have spent many years on and off of JDate.  It is a necessary evil in the modern day search for love.  For someone like me, who only dates Jewish men, it is an obvious yet depressing choice.  I am not a fan of online dating but since most of my dating comes from JDate, I often complain about it.

I had a couple of long term relationships with men I met on JDate, and have recently been out on a couple of dates with a man I met there that could become a relationship because we really like each other.  JDate is a haystack full of crap with some needles thrown in for those willing to search.

I was recently sent this video and thought it was funny, but when I got to the last line, it suddenly became perfection.  If you have spent any time on JDate you quickly see that it is sex driven.  I imagine Ashley Madison may be the only other dating site that has more sex drive than JDate.

Are Jews super sexual?  If you look at 10 random profiles on JDate you will be surprised by how many reference sex.  They openly discuss that they want it, are looking for it, and in some cases demand it.  I once went out with a man who said he needs sex on a first date to continue.

This video is a funny, graphic, honest and brilliant look at online dating. It’s comedy to be sure, but it comes from a place of truth and that is always the source of great comedy.  This type of thing happens in real life! The negotiations for sex when dating are a well choreographed dance.

I’ve never gone into negotiations quite like this, but I get it, appreciate it, marvel at it, and laugh out loud at it.  Again, if you are easily offended by sexually explicit content, or are sensitive to graphic language, then please don’t watch it.  If you can handle the truth, then take a look.

Sex is a difficult thing to talk about, especially when you are talking about it to someone you just met and know nothing about.  Relationships are complicated without sex, so when you throw it in it changes everything.  Would dating be easier if we had sex first and negotiated later?

I’m guessing men would like that approach, but for women not so much. Sex is a great and powerful thing and it makes sense that it would involve negotiations, but if a guy ever negotiated with me like the guy in the video, I would get another cat and never date again.  Ever.

Today I am going on my third date with a man I met on JDate. He is Jewish, funny, smart, handsome, caring, and supportive.  He makes my heart flutter so at some point we may need to do some of own sexual negotiations.  I am nervous, excited, and keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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