January 21, 2011 | 12:49 am

Rest in Peace   Matthew Mezza

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Matthew Mezza, a 14 year old freshman at Santa Monica High School, died on Friday, January 14th.  I did not know Matthew, but I love him with my entire heart and my condolences go out to his family and friends.  My son turned 15 just says after Matthew’s passing and he is also a freshman.  I cannot wrap my head around this loss.

This young man took his own life and it’s difficult to understand.  I have been unsettles since reading of his passing.  My son and I discussed Matthew and it was touching.  We spoke of this boy as if we knew him because in a way we did.  Matthew was at the same stage of life as my own boy, and that is powerful.

My son and I talked about life and death.  Being a boy of 15 is hard.  I can barely remember last week, so going back to when I was a teenager is near impossible.  It’s also quite useless really, because the life that I lead at 14 and 15 is completely different from the one my son is living now.  It was a different time with different struggles, concerns and dreams.

My boy and I had an honest talk about what he worries about, what he is excited about, what scares him, and the challenges of balancing school, friends, girls, and life.  I learned a lot from our talk.  I became a better mother today because of Matthew.  His tragic death made me stop and take a minute to talk to my child in a deeper and more meaningful way.

My hopes are for kids who are struggling to find someone to talk to, that my son will always feel safe coming to me to discuss his struggles and emotions, that Matthew will rest in peace, that his family and friends know he has touched my heart, and that they are in my prayers.  My hope is for my son to know I love him, and together we will keep the faith.