Keeping the Faith

June 1, 2011 | 9:29 pm

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY), Big Lies Come in Small Packages

Posted by Ilana Angel

Photo

Rep. Anthony Weiner

Dear Mr.Weiner,

Do you honestly think you can get out of this mess? You told the press that you cannot say “with certitude” that the graphic picture of your package was actually you.  Seriously?  Do you own underwear like that Tony?  Are you unfamiliar with the shape of your penis?  It’s not a line up honey, it’s just you.

Are we to believe your Twitter account was hacked and a picture of you in your underwear, which could or could not be you, was sent to a random 21 year old college student in Seattle, and the security firm you hired to investigate is not being paid by you to give a very specific answer to what happened?

Did you think your attempt at humor by telling reporters you were a little “stiff” was going to translate as charming?  When you said, “I was the victim of a prank.”, did you really think we believed you?  Are you are the one politician who is not going to get caught being a pig?  Good luck with that.

When you told the media, “This is not a national security matter. We are not making a federal case out of this and I don’t think anyone else should.”, know that I laughed out loud because in looking at the picture, I can assure you that it truly is a small matter that needs to be addressed.

Did you really have the balls to say the young woman who got the picture just decided to randomly follow you on Twitter?  Obviously you have taken some pictures in your underwear if you are unsure it is you.  Don’t you think it’s time you just fessed up and called it a day?  We’re laughing at you sweetie.  Not cute.

You went on to say, “We don’t know where the photograph came from. We don’t know for sure what’s on it, we don’t know for sure if its been manipulated, if it was taken out of one place and dropped in something else. And I’m going to let this firm try to get to the bottom of all that.”  Do you not have anyone in your life to let you know that you are making a fool of yourself?

The good news is that you are young and people will forget about this stumble quickly.  You may lose your political career, but don’t worry because you will be able to find another job and there are a lot of other options.  Underwear model and porn star offers are going to start flooding in any day now.  You could have your own reality television show by summer.

Your story is hilarious, and by hilarious of course I mean pathetic. You got caught, and denying is making it both awkward and embarrassing.  End the farce so we can focus on real political stories like why Sarah Palin eats pizza with fork.  Say you’re sorry, beg your family for forgiveness, go on the Daily Show to take it like a man, and start keeping the faith.

*Important to note, many people respect you and your political career as you have been a fierce advocate for the disenfranchised.  If you are telling the truth, and it was a hacking of your account, I will be the first to apologize and post a retraction.  I have the apology ready, but don’t think I’ll ever use it.

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It’s sad that very young people who might be curious about the news have to learn of this! When I attended public elementary school I used to enjoy “Current Events”. Rep. Weiner could have ended all this clearly and decisively last week. Now it can’t be stopped!

Comment by Pete Petretich on 6/02/11 at 4:02 am

Nice way to support someone from the Jewish community.(Not.) This article is rude and presumes that Rep. Weiner is guilty. Maybe he is. But there is nothing that makes that assumption a slam dunk. Why don’t you give the issue time, before you comdemn one of the strongest democratic voices in Congress. And someone whose Judaism may just give him the morale character to NOT do such a ridiculous thing.

Comment by Nina on 6/02/11 at 10:37 am

I look very much forward to reading your apology. Also,  you should apologize even IF this is a photograph of him intended for use in his personal relationship that was stolen and used. Your ‘judgement’ of what he and another consenting adult or the typw of underwear he wore is none of your or anyone’s business. Right wingers always stae that personal freedoms should be insured UNLESS someone else finds them offensive. It is downright American to defend those who offend you for the right to speak or practice differently than you do.
  Again, I look forward to your eating crow…unless, of course, you are as big of a hypocrite as most filty lying republiucans.

Comment by D.J. Constable on 6/02/11 at 12:19 pm

@ Pete:  Agreed.  It’s out of control.

@ Nina:  Lighten up.

@ DJ:  If an apology is owed by me to Mr. Weiner, I can assure you there will be one.  Now, you apologize for calling me a Republican?  That’s REALLY not nice.

Comment by Ilana Angel on 6/02/11 at 1:30 pm

Nina,
There is nothing illegal about making a mistake or being a victim; Weiner is ‘guilty’ only of being a weasel and treating the public like dummies.

He needs to say “It’s none of your business and it’s who I am, tough turd”, or “That picture had nothing to do with me and I am calling on the FBI to get to the bottom of this cyber-crime”. Those would be transparent responses.

Thank God he was stopped before securing New York for Obama a la Rahm Emanuel in Chicago.

As a Jew, he is much more a good Democratic soldier and O-bot. That combined with an Arab wife (not that there’s anything wrong with that) means he would sell Israel out in a minute. No loss for the Jews there.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 6/02/11 at 6:14 pm

DJ Constable,
I wonder if you were so nice to Chris Lee (R) who sent topless photos to a woman over the Internet and was dumped by the truthful non-hypocritical Republican leadership, unlike the Democratic leadership now. How is that anyone’s business according to you? Or Rep. Mark Foley (R) who was targeted by the lately-silent Nancy Pelosi for text messaging Congressional pages.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 6/02/11 at 6:34 pm

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!! Why is the world would they think they could get away with this? Who would think this was appealing. Some old mans weiner. Sorry I could resist.

Comment by Dawn on 6/03/11 at 12:55 pm

I think the man was just trying to live up to his name.  He did that well.  But his denial of it only supports the article authors points that treating the public like a pack of fools only points to the kind of mirror Wiener is looking in.

Comment by Mary McCurry on 6/05/11 at 2:37 pm

Weiner is very smart and very glib. He is used to talking his way into or out of or around anything he wants. This is one he can’t talk his way out of. He had to do something; own the photo and the tweet, or disown them. Not act like he is just as puzzled as everyone else who is not Anthony Weiner.

The fact that he couldn’t do one or the other means he did neither, which does not satisfy even the dumbest observer. At this point it doesn’t matter what he does, anymore than Obama producing what he called a birth certificate after three years. It is amazing that Weiner has not one supporter as a character reference.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 6/05/11 at 6:43 pm

ilana,
i use to have a landlord named ‘richard dick’. i could never call him ‘richard’ because he was twice as much ‘dick’ than any ‘richard’ i had ever known. i would sign all my rent checks to him, ‘dick dick’!
i’m just sayin’...
(o.m.g.)
‘wiener wiener’ just would not feel right here like ‘dick dick dick’ does.
what a winner!

Comment by zero milligrams (o.m.g.) on 6/07/11 at 10:50 am

I once had a boss named ‘Richard Head’. At least that was my name for him.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 6/12/11 at 5:07 am

ben,
you have just became my new best friend!!
i would never be able to look your ‘boss’ in the eyes without laughing out loud in his face.
i’m just sayin’...
(o.m.g.)
i knew a kid in high school named dick lively. which wasn’t that funny until the gym teach would yell out roll call, with the last name first and first name last.
that kid would hesitate every time, to have his name called out two or three times, to get us all laughing out loud.
a rose is a rose by any other name~
but a dick is a prick and ‘wiener’ is both right now!!

Comment by zero milligrams (o.m.g.) on 6/12/11 at 6:05 pm

I still pray that boss lives a very long life, on a respirator.

The longer this Wiener story goes on, the weirder it gets. I never liked or trusted Antony Wiener, but when he said his account was hacked I believed him. I would no more think he was so narcissistic than that he was a bank robber. Today TMZ is posting pictures he sent girls from the Congressional gym.

Wiener’s problem is that he can’t get another job. He’s not rich like Spitzer, he’s not a lawyer, nobody really likes him personally… he really had everything to lose and nothing to gain. What is the diagnosis for high-risk behavior like that?

Comment by Ben Plonie on 6/12/11 at 8:43 pm

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