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Jewish Journal

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Dive Into The Gutter

by Ilana Angel

June 29, 2010 | 9:34 am

The network that thinks we're stupid.

I’m not sure how it happened, or why, but Bravo has decided to let this show slide into the gutter.  These women are manipulating their “reality”, clearly orchestrating drama, and shame on Bravo for not giving its loyal audience a little credit, and reeling these chicks in.

We start off with Caroline having lunch with two of her sisters.  Caroline is the only one on this show that I find interesting anymore.  I like her, think she is adorable, and I’m tempted to not watch anymore because if she goes to the dark side like the others, I will be disappointed.

Caroline is talking about Albie and his issues with school.  When Caroline cries, she looks beautiful. It’s a gift to look pretty while crying, and she has the gift.  It’s a transitional point in her life as her kids get older and move on to adulthood.  She is struggling with it all, and it’s compelling to watch.

Kim D. is out for lunch with Teresa and Jacqueline.  Sidebar:  Is it just me. or does anyone else think that if you have a drink, squint your eyes, and tilt your head to the left, Kim D. looks a little like Barbra Streisand?  Why doesn’t anyone like her enough to tell her how ridiculous her hair looks?

Teresa has changed from cute chick, to manipulative drama queen.  She is on a mission to destroy Danielle, which is a waste because Danielle is brilliant at digging her own grave.  Jacqueline has grown a set of balls over the last few weeks, but the problem is she doesn’t know what to do with them.

Danielle is heading over to Kim D’s store to see why her friend would invite her enemies to her fashion show.  She walks in and is not happy with the woman at the front desk.  This is where the show starts to unravel and become something that is difficult to watch, care about or take seriously.

Danielle is pissed off, telling her 12 year old daughter on the phone all about it, and the store clerk wants us to believe that she did not know Danielle’s name.  Really?  You are on this show, and don’t know who she is?  Why then when Kim D. comes in, are you talking about Danielle like you know her?

Danielle blows Kim D. off on the phone, but then goes back to the store.  This is like a badly written drama.  It is fake, and stupid, and I don’t care about these women anymore.  Danielle is spewing crap about loving Kim D. too much to shop there anymore, or some other idiotic nonsense.

Danielle is hurt, and betrayed that Kim D. has turned on her.  Danielle, you can’t possibly be surprised!  Nobody wants to be your friend sweetie.  You are a whack job.  We are dealing with celebrity whores, and your coat tails are not worth grabbing onto.

We’re in the kitchen with Caroline and Albert.  I hear her talk about her children, and their leaving, and it breaks my heart.  I have only one son, and he is only 14, and as much as I can’t wait to see what he does with his life, I dread the day when he will leave.

She is struggling and it’s sad.  She wants Albert to retire, so he can spend time with her, and he of course is not going to.  He tells her to get a job, or have a baby, and it’s cute, but he does not get what she is going through.  I think she is the most relatable, and the only one not scripting herself.

Kim D. calls Danielle at home and tells her she is sorry, and she should come to the fashion show.  Really?  This show is so fake.  Why would she insist she come, and why would she agree to go?  It makes no sense and stinks of crap.  Danielle is gross, Kim D. is gross, and this show is gross.

Jacqueline and Teresa invite Caroline over to tell her they are going to the fashion show, and Danielle will be there.  Caroline is the only one who appears to not buy into the drama.  She is telling them not to go, but they don’t listen.  If Caroline gets gross, I will never watch this show again.

Danielle has threatened her daughter, Kim D. has clearly shown she is playing both sides of the fence, so why would Jacqueline a) go and b) allow her daughter to participate?  Ashley and Jacqueline should bow out of the fashion show and let everyone else drown under their own garbage.

Kim G. has gone to pick up Danielle.  This broad is a piece of work.  She is cute, and could have been a great addition, along with her mother-in-law who looks like a hoot.  Instead, she aligned herself early on with the wrong side, and now we could care less about her.

She looks like all she cares about is getting on the show, and causing drama wherever she goes.  Granted she got annoyed with Danny, and separated herself from all that crap, but it’s too little, too late.  Don’t trust her, don’t like her, and don’t think she can turn it around without looking stupid.

The fashion show is beginning.  If Kim D. is so set on being a part of this show, why didn’t she host the event at the Brownstone?  Sidebar:  Teresa and Jacqueline are wearing fur.  I’m guessing the chinchillas were skinned alive, and suffered horrific pain, for a vest.  Disgusting.

Danielle arrives with her new bodyguard Dennis.  Dear Lord.  Why is this woman not in a hospital having 24 hour therapy? It’s disrespectful for Bravo, after we have been so loyal, to treat us like we’re morons.  Not sure I can make it through the season.  It’s easier to just not watch.

Caroline and Albert are at dinner.  She is sad, getting lonely, and she wants him to scale back at work and spend time with her.  He’s not into it because he’s worked so much, for so long, he doesn’t know how to not work.  I hope he figures out a way to be with her more.  I love these two.

At the fashion show Kim G. is telling Danielle to be the lady that she is.  Poor Kim G. keeps trying to do the right thing, but she is wasting her time on Danielle.  Danielle is pretending to be on the phone to annoy Kim D. and Danielle is spewing to the ladies at her table like a broken record.

Teresa is stalking Danielle to “say hi”.  Really? Teresa has dived into the gutter.  She is gross, along with the chinchilla jacket her bankruptcy filing got her.  And so the groundwork is laid for a big blowout next week.  I actually find myself feeling sorry for Danielle at this point, which is not a good sign.

Danielle is crazy, but she’s all talk.  Teresa is stirring the pot, and none of them are interesting enough for us to really care.  We watch to have an hour of fluff, but this show is too much work.  It’s complicated, and everyone is playing dirty.  How sad that nobody is stepping in to clean up the mess.

I’ll watch how is all pans out because I’m in already, but it’s going to be hard.  I feel sorry for the kids of every single one of these women.  They will look back on the show and be mortified.  Except for Caroline’s kids, who I hope will look back on the show and go visit their mother.

The Real Housewives of DC is about to start and I can’t help but question my sanity for getting sucked into that one too.  I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the good old days of normalcy in Orange County.  As for me making it though the season with the “ladies” of New Jersey, I’m keeping the faith.

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