March 26, 2013 | 3:25 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I pray everyday. I wake up in prayer and go to sleep in prayer. A lot of time it is not a prayer as much as it is a conversation with God. I talk about what is going on so I can put it all out into the universe and hope it comes back in a way that makes things better. Lately I have been praying for change. I am traveling in circles and I need change to send me in a new direction.
I have been working on changes in my work and for the first time in a very long time I feel like I am close to my professional goals being reached. It has been slow and steady and while I know that can win a race, I am not in a race. I am simply ready for things to happen and feel prepared for the changes that will come when those things finally do come. God willing.
I have been patient as I watch others reach their goals. I have been patient as I saw opportunities come and go. I have been patient as I dealt with the consequences of making wrong decisions. I have been patient as I teach myself to change the things about me that I don’t like. I have been patient as I learn about myself and enter into the next phase of my life.
I am going to turn 47 in a couple of weeks and for my birthday I am praying for change. I want to value myself enough to know that I deserve everything. I want to believe that my dreams will come true, and not just hope that they will. I want to know that I am living my best life. I want to change things in my life to make room for changes to come into my life.
I can control my weight, so that is on my list. I can control how I treat the people in my life that I love, so that is on the list. I can control how I treat the people in my life who should not be, so that is on my list. I want to be an exceptional mother, daughter, sister, friend and partner to the people that matter the most to me, so that is on the list. Good thing I like lists.
I believe there are changes coming and I am excited. Even if the changes are not what I want or expect, I can only pray that I will learn something because knowledge is power, and power matters when you are facing the unknown. I don’t know what the future holds so all I can do is get ready and surround myself with people that I love, trust, and dream with.
Before people panic and think there are hidden messages in this blog, there are not. I'm just ready for some things to change, and so I am working on being excited rather than scared. I have been dreaming of these changes for a long time and cannot wait for it all to kick in. Not only for me, but for the people that I love and am anxious to share everything with.
Not everything needs to change of course because my life is blessed and I am a lucky girl. It is really just about getting ready because when change comes I want to be in a comfortable place in my relationships, in my body, and with my prayers. It is a scary and exciting time so I will continue to pray, hope change finally comes, and focus on keeping the faith.
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