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Online “Dating” Site Ashley Madison is Disgusting

by Ilana Angel

February 24, 2011 | 8:17 am

Ashley Madison is an online dating service.  By “dating” of course I mean a place where people who are already in relationships, can be douchelords and cheat.  It is literally a place for people to go to seek out affairs.  It might be the most disgusting dating site out there.

I recently read an article about Ashley Madison, written by Sheelah Kolhatkar in Blumberg Businessweek, and I was fascinated.  You can read Sheelah’s article here: “Cheating, Incorporated  Founded in 2001 by Canadian Noel Biderman, this site is a nightmare.  I checked it out and after 5 minutes felt dirty.

They claim to have almost 8 million members, but online tracking sites say it is closer to 700,000.  No surprise that there is some exaggeration as we are dealing with online dating.  If I had a dollar for every time a man told me he was 5’9”, only to be 5’6”, I’d be a millionaire.

The name “Ashley Madison” comes from using two of the most popular names for girls.  Cute.  You can give your company the most adorable name ever, but if it’s a breeding ground for douchelords and whores, the sweet name is not going to make you something you are not.

Biderman says he is founder, but that seems to not jive with partner Darren Morgenstern who says it’s his brainchild.  I’m sure there is some sort of sordid “The Social Network” back story, and once the Oscars are over, Aaron Sorkin should take a look because there is a story to tell.

I was intrigued and decided to take a look.  I registered an account using false information.  The only good thing to came out of my snooping around is that for 48 hours, I was 5’6”, 120 pounds, had long blonde hair, green eyes, lived in New York City, and was married.  Good times.

I filled out the basic information needed to get started and began to look around.  Oh.  My.  God.  Within 10 minutes I was bombarded with messages.  By messages of course I mean men offered to “make me feel like I have never felt in my life, with the light touch only they could give me”.

The most fascinating thing was that half of the men included full frontal naked photos of themselves.  Important to note these were not just Polaroid’s people took for fun.  There were some in positions that clearly required a yoga background, and someone else to take the photo.

Who took these pictures?  If most of the men on this site are in relationships, then did they ask their partners or wives to take the photo?  Are there women out there who feel so safe in their intimate relationships that they can take these types of pictures of their men?

Are they thinking it’s special, meanwhile the men are using the pictures to help them cheat?  Is a woman having sex with her husband and unwillingly helping him get lucky with strangers?  Must be, because I don’t think men invite their buddies over to snap some crotch shots for the Internet.

This site is creepy, and scary.  Sadly a lot of the men are really, really handsome, which makes the whole thing even worse.  It’s really quite disgusting.  Men wrote to tell me that I sounded like a really great lady, which is fascinating because I said nothing about myself.  Nothing.

All I wrote was what I looked like physically.  Oh, and that I was up for ”whatever excites me”.  I guess when you are a pig, cheating on your wife, finding a girl that is up for anything, makes her so different from your spouse, she automatically becomes a “nice girl”.

Ashley Madison’s tag line is, “Life is short, have an affair”.  I find it offensive, but even if the numbers are exaggerated, a lot of people don’t.  Bravo to Biderman for making himself a millionaire by being a pig.  He’s going to hell, but at least he has money to go first class.

It’s all quite sad that there is such a lack of respect for marriage and commitment.  I have never, and would never, cheat on my partner. I have been cheated on and it is crushing.  This site however, is the worse possible cheating because it is calculated and deliberate.

I get that people cheat.  If you meet someone at the office, and things get out of hand, it’s bad.  If you pay money, and time, searching for sex, then it’s a different level of cheating all together.  It’s about deception in a way that is dark, mean, and dangerous.

In a world where sex is available at the click of a button, is a site like Ashley Madison, that is enticing, inspiring and coaxing people to cheat, necessary?  Does someone need to make it easier for people to cheat?  Is there no respect for marriage, monogamy and trust?

My fake profile has been deleted from the Ashley Madison site.  I was sufficiently creeped out, and with time, the layer of dirtiness I feel for ever having gone on it, will wash away.  Ashley Madison is disgusting, but more than that, it’s sad.  How heartbreaking that it exists and is so popular.

I believe in love, monogamy, marriage, and vows.  I believe I will get married again and when I do, my marriage will include just him and I.  I will also be monitoring his computer, checking his phone, and not taking pictures of him naked.  Other than that, I will be keeping the faith.

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