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Jewish Journal

My Love Affair

by Ilana Angel

November 3, 2009 | 11:19 am

I have been in love with my child since I was a little girl.  Long before I got married or pregnant or knew if I was having a boy or a girl I loved this person with all my heart.  I used to dream about being a mother when I was young and always assumed I would have a bunch of kids but there was another path for me and since I was blessed with only one child God gave me one that is perfect.

My life has been an interesting journey marked by moments of joy and tears.  This child has made the joy appear in vibrant color and the tears pass quickly because he replaces them with laughter.  It has been just the two of us for a long time and it was my son who reminded me that I was not only a mother but a woman and I needed to start putting myself out there. 

My boy and I had a great night.  We did homework, made dinner, hung out, watched TV, farmed on Facebook and just chilled at home.  I love to watch him sleeping.  He is beautiful and it’s the only time all day that he is quiet.  He has all the best parts of me and his dad in him and at certain angles it’s as if I’m looking at my own father as a young man and it is wonderful.

He will be 14 in January and I can see him changing every day.  Not only physically but emotionally and mentally.  I am watching him grow from a child into a young man and it is glorious and scary.  Every day brings a new challenge, a new worry, a new goal and a new smile.

I don’t know why I’m feeling so mushy but I just want to say that I am thankful for this remarkable child.  I am honored to be his mother and pray I am doing a good job and when he looks back on his childhood I hope he understands that I did the best I could to give him a life filled with love, hope, joy and faith. 

To my darling son you are my sunshine and my heart and I want you to know that with each day of my life I love you a little more than the day before.  I can’t wait to take you to college, dance at your wedding and spoil your kids.  You are the single most important person that I have ever known and my world is better with you in it.  The entire world is better with you in it.

I wish you health and happiness and I hope that all the dreams you have for yourself come true.  Be happy, healthy, safe and kind.  Be respectful, honest, generous and patient.  Believe in yourself and set your goals high because everything is possible if you keep the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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