October 5, 2011 | 2:03 am

My Delicious Umami Burger Dinner Was Ruined By Lame People

Posted by Ilana Angel

Follow JewishJournal.com on

Last night I took my son out to dinner at Umami Burger.  If you live in LA and have not been, you must go.  It is simply divine.  I am a vegetarian so I had a veggie burger, and it was fabulous.  We went to the new location in Studio City, which is hip and cute.  We arrived at about 6:30 pm.

In this particular location, there is a long row of tables where one side sits on a long bench, and the other side is large red chairs.  There are 12 tables set up in a place where there should only by 8.  I get that they need to make money, but do we need to be stuffed in like sardines?

Imagine a row of tables, then place a couple at table 2, my son and me at table 5, and another couple at table 12.  That leaves 6 tables between us the couple on the right, and 3 tables on the left.  Can you explain to me why a couple would walk in and sit at the table right next to us?

There were 6 tables to choose from, yet they decided to sit on our laps.  If it were me, I would sit comfortably between table 6 and 12, not at a table that is so close you are touching the person next to you.  It’s lame.  I wanted to move to another table but my son said it would be rude.

When we finished our meal and headed out, there were still three tables available on the other side of the people who opted to sit on top of us which was lame.  You are so close it’s like having dinner with the people next to you, but I would never have dinner with this particular couple.

I would rather spill food on my lap, than have a complete stranger sitting in my lap while I eat.  If you are going to charge $15 for a burger, then maybe you can cut one table so your patrons can enjoy a meal without having their space violated?  We did not order lap dances with our meal.

My son didn’t want to move, but when the woman sat on him, I mean next to him, it changed our dinner.  He did not speak freely because she was listening to everything he said.  The people were lame for sitting next to us, and the restaurant is lame for squishing their patrons.

Even with unexpected dinner guests, we had a good time laughing and trying to talk in code, which was hilarious.  At the end of the day I am blessed, and if bad restaurant etiquette is my biggest problem, then all my praying is working and I will continue to keep the faith.