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Motherhood, Dating, Sex, Porn, Television, Love & Faith – A Year in Review

by Ilana Angel

July 21, 2010 | 9:11 am

It is hard to believe that a year ago this week, I posted my first blog for The Jewish Journal of Great Los Angeles.  A lot has happened in my life, and in the world, over the past year. I have talked openly about motherhood, dating, sex, porn, television, love, loss, joy, aging, being Jewish and faith.

I’ve been called funny, boring, smart, stupid, entertaining, annoying, interesting, indecisive, pretty, ugly, kind, mean, an angel and Hitler, to name just a few.  I’ve had days where I was thrilled to have 100 people read my blog, and others where I was surprised to have 100000 readers.

I have grown as a mother, daughter, sister, friend and woman.  I’ve gone on a search for love, and in the process learned to love myself.  I’ve received letters from around the world including Rabbi’s, preachers, single mothers, kids, Nazis, politicians, shut ins, servicemen and porn stars.

It’s the one year anniversary of my relationship with the Jewish Journal.  They have allowed me the freedom to speak my mind, in my own words, without censorship.  There have been a couple of bumps along the way, where they thought I pushed it to the limits, but they never silenced my voice.

The blog has gotten me a few dates, and cost me even more.  I became a sweetheart of conservatives with my blogs on Sarah Palin, and hated by many by stating that I hoped my son would marry a woman who was Jewish, and then called racist for only dating Jewish men. 

I’ve had reality television bloggers and their mob of haters pounce on my opinion, had a Baptist Minister’s wife write to tell me we that while our faith is different, we share a heart and are raising our sons the same way, and had a Neo-Nazi leader write to tell me to stick to my faith.

I met Sarah Palin and allowed myself to see her as a mom, not a politician.  I met Wendy Williams and chatted about reality television.  I had several Bravo housewives say they appreciate my honest voice, and I’ve had a woman undergoing chemotherapy write to say I made her laugh.

I’ve met new friends who have restored my belief that people are inherently good, and let go of friendships that proved to be toxic.  I embraced my faith, listened to the teachings of my Rabbi, was lead back to God and taught to live my life with gratitude, and let go of sorrow.

I discovered that really great people can become addicted to drugs, and through their sobriety, are able to be their true beautiful selves. I learned that for others, just because they conquer their addictions and are able to live a sober life, it does not make them good people, just sober.

I’ve gone out with men who were married and said they were single, were 5”4 but convinced they were 5’10”, were not Jewish but said they were.  I shared stories of dates where the men made waitresses cry, threw up on my shoes, and did not have the strength to admit they were gay.

I learned to let my son spread his wings and have more independence.  I’ve embraced living with a teenager.  I’ve watched my son make new friends, grow away from old ones, and transition from a little kid, into a man that I am proud of, and love more than I ever imagined I could.

I’ve had a good year.  I love my son, friends, family and work.  I am striving to keep moving forward.  I’ve found peace, which will allow me to find love.  The great lesson learned this year is that no matter how high or low my day is, life is infinitely better when I am Keeping The Faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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