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Millionaire Matchmaker Crapfest

by Ilana Angel

January 20, 2010 | 12:53 pm

The season premier of Millionaire Matchmaker was on Bravo last night.  I want to say, with my whole heart, that I think Patti Stanger is a crock.  She is full of crap.  I cannot believe she is managing to keep this show going.  I am embarrassed for her.  She is a horrible Jewish stereotype and makes me want to gauge my own eyes out.

Why would people pay money to this woman? In the two years her show has been on television, we have not seen a wedding. If your business is matchmaking then wouldn’t a wedding be the ultimate sign of success?

Patti opens the show saying her matchmaking ability has gotten her not only notches in heaven, but notches in life.  Really?  Since when does being a hypocrite get you notches on the belt of life?  I can tell you Patti has not gotten notches for entrance into heaven.  What she has is a series of notches on my bedpost, made with a bottle opener, for every time I watch her show and did not impale myself, just to make it stop.

The show used to state she had a 99% success rate.  They have changed it to an “extremely high” success rate.  I think the only extremely high thing here is the millionaire who buys into her scheme.  Destin is the COO of her company.  Don’t get it.  Rachel is Destin’s fiancé, the Director of Registration, and the mother of their son. Who is called Sin.  Don’t get it.  Chelsea is the VP of Matchmaking.  Don’t get it.

Patti refers to Chelsea as the main matchmaker, yet says it’s her God given talent and intuition that makes her successful.  Has she managed to transfer her God given talent to Chelsea?  What is that smell?  It’s crap.

This week she sets up two twenty something guys who are clearly not looking for love but rather TV time.  She goes to meet with them and she is full of herself.  She tries to be funny and she’s just not.  They do a “casting” session for women to meet the millionaires and she complains that they are all ugly.  Maybe all the hot chicks watched the show and realized they’d have to be complete morons to be a part of it.

Patti says “no gold diggers” are allowed in her club.  Really?  They are there to meet millionaires and they are not gold diggers.  This chick is seriously stupid.  She yells at a client that he is not going to make her look like an idiot.  Oh Sweetie, you did that all by yourself. 

The millionaires meet the “ladies” and one asks a chick if she likes to travel, and where she’s been out of the country.  Her response is that she has never been outside of the country but went to Jamaica and Mexico.  Are they now part of the US?

I know that some of you are saying I do not know her and am basing my opinion on a “reality” television show.  The fact is, I have met her.  I approached her at a party with a friend of mine and she was a complete and total &^%$#.  She is not a nice person.  My friends and I have had more success setting up our friends with each other, than I bet she has in her scam matchmaking business.  All her show does is make me feel sad for Heidi Fleiss.  Poor Heidi was ruined for doing the same thing that Patti does.

I cannot explain why I am so annoyed by this woman.  I suppose that at the end of the day, I just think she is bad for women.  Her advice is idiotic and her made up vocabulary is ridiculous.  To all the millionaires who are giving her money, you’re better off giving your cash to the people of Haiti, and finding love on your own.  To the people who watch her show and hear her blanket statements about the women of Los Angeles, she is wrong.

Last year Patti said she was not the marrying kind.  She is now planning her wedding on her show.  It took her boyfriend 5 years to ask her to marry him.  He only asked her after she found success on television.  Coincidence? Perhaps Patti was not the marrying kind because no one was asking her.

Single people managed to find love and get married long before Patti Stanger came along and will continue to do so long after her 15 minutes are up.  To the millionaires who have thrown their money, it’s okay.  Love will find you.  Just keep the faith.

*You can follow my blog on Twitter @ilanaangel

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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