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Jewish Journal

Leaving Home or Going Home?

by Ilana Angel

August 9, 2012 | 12:23 am

I am heading home to Canada today.  It is the first time I am going home to see my family in 2 years.  My mother has been here to see me, but I’ve not been to see my siblings, nieces or nephews.  I love them all very much and this is too long to not see them.  Not only am I going to see everyone, but after 21 days the wait is finally over and I will see my delicious son.

I used to go home every year.  Some years I would go twice, but as much as I love my family, it has been different since my father died.  I’d much rather they come to see me than go back and be reminded in a real way that he is gone.  I have lived in Los Angeles for over 20 years but I feel like going to Canada is going home.  That is changing a little with this visit.

Los Angeles is where my son considers his home to be.  He was born here, raised here, and has built a life here.  He has had dual citizenship since he was a baby, but he is an American and this is home.  He is my heart and so my home is where he is.  This visit feels like I am leaving home rather than going home.  It is a melancholy feeling, but also comforting.

I was born in Israel, grew up in Canada, and am raising my son in America. Israel, Canada, and America are all home in their own way, but in the end the life I have built in Los Angeles is finally, after 20 years, home.  Although my mother would disagree, I am never going to move back to Canada and so as much as I am going home, I am also leaving home.

I moved a lot when I was a kid and do not feel like I have a hometown.  When people ask me where I’m from I usually say Canada because having lived in 4 Canadian cities, I never know which one to say.  I have lived in Los Angeles longer than any other place so I guess i am from Los Angeles. I am a Canadian, English, Israeli, whose home is in America.

After 46 years it feels nice to put down roots.  I have built a life for myself in Los Angeles and have raised a remarkable son in this city.  LA is his home town and his home.  I am thrilled to be in Canada.  It feels safe, comfortable and familiar.  I may consider LA to be my home but I am Canadian and that will never change.  Home is memories as much as location.

I will be blogging from the Great White North this week and look forward to sharing my vacation with all of you.  I am taking a week off from reality television and that will prove to be my real vacation.  In the end I am blessed to have so many places that I consider home and so many people who fill my home with love.  My home has been built by my keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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