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Jewish vs. Jew”ish”  - Oy Vey! Can’t It Just Be a Date?

by Ilana Angel

September 23, 2010 | 5:48 pm

I wrote this morning about the fact that I have a date this weekend with a man that is not Jewish.  For some of my readers, it was as if I had finally seen the light, and for others it would appear that I have crossed over to the dark side and made a huge mistake.

Here are some bits and pieces of what I received on Facebook and by email:

“I am new to your blog and one of the things that really turned me on to you was your commitment to date only Jewish men. Today’s blog disappointed.”

“What if you like him?  Are you just as fine with your son dating a Jew as a non-Jew? What are you teaching him?“

“No WAY. I hope you have a fabulous time on your date.”

“You are a hypocrite and should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I am proud of you for thinking outside the box and going down a new path.  It shows your faith is solid that you can be with someone of another faith.”

“I don’t get it.  What are you doing?  I don’t think you should go.”

“Search for love, don’t over think it, and be happy.  We are all invested in your happiness and want it for you as much as you do.”

“With the luck you’ve had, it might just be ok once in a while. What’s with the guilt? Why not just have dinner and live in the moment?”

“I don’t think it makes a difference whether he was born Jewish or not. He could have some Jewish ancestors that he may not even know about.”

“It is more important he respects and believes in the religion and what it stands for. If he is willing to practice with you, that is what really matters.”

I sometimes forget than anyone other than my friends and family read this blog.  It’s when I get the comments that the power of the blog is really understood.  I am humbled by the comments and truly feel that the majority of them are shared from a good place.

Some of the comments today however, have left me feeling quite conflicted.  On one hand I feel like I should cancel the date and stay true to the message that I have shared here, which is that I only date Jewish men, as my faith matters to me and I want to share it with my partner.

The other option is to cut myself some slack, go out with what appears to be an entertaining and charming man, and not put so much weight behind the decision.  I’ve been accused in the past of being too sensitive to readers opinions and I guess today that is truly the case.

Ultimately, the question boils down to why I made the decision to go.  I have been broken up from my last, boyfriend for over a year.  I have been divorced for almost 15 years.  Have I perhaps been a little too picky about who I choose to spend time with in terms of men?

I have been very selective and used faith as my guide.  I am not losing site of my faith.  I am thinking outside of my self-designed box to see if rather than my Beshert being a Jew, he is a man who loves a Jewish woman.  Is that a cop out?  Has loneliness trumped faith?

I have a couple of days to figure it out and I’m sure I will.  Go?  Cancel?  Whatever I decide, I will be a strong Jewish woman who is looking for love while being guided by her faith, not controlled by it.  I love your comments, thank you for caring, and am inspired to keep the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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