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Jewish Journal

JDate Checks In To Check Me Out

by Ilana Angel

October 9, 2010 | 8:40 am

I am having lunch today with some people who work at JDate.  My regular readers know that I have agreed to do all my online dating through JDate until the end of the year.  They feel that I can meet my Beshert online and JDate is the place where it will happen and since I only date Jewish men, that makes sense.

I have had conversations on the phone and through email with the folks at JDate, but we have never met in person.  I got an invitation last week to finally have a face to face.  They wanted to check in and see how my search is going.  By check in, of course I mean check me out.

I have not been shy about sharing my experiences on JDate, and while I have had success in the past, since rejoining a couple of months ago, my dates have not been good.  By dates, I mean I have had only two.  To clarify, I have met wonderful men through JDate and my last two relationships were with men I met there.  It’s just this go round that has not been stellar.

I write a blog that talks a lot about my search for love.  Anyone who reads it knows there are no holds barred in terms of what I will share.  I write for a major Jewish publication and I only date Jewish men.  What are the chances that the blog is the reason JDate is not working this time around?  If JDaters are reading my blog then maybe fear is stopping them from reaching out.

I have always had tremendous success on JDate.  It is easy to meet men when you are searching for someone who you already know you have something in common with.  When I was on JDate before the blog, I dated a lot.  This time around, I cannot get a JDate to save my life.  It’s not for lack of trying.  I am putting myself out there but nothing is happening.

I get a lot of emails telling me they like my blog, but are not interested in dating someone who can take their dating life and splash it all over the internet.  If you are a good guy, and a gentleman when you date, then what is there to be nervous about?  I never use real names.

If the tables were turned, I would totally date a man who had a blog about dating.  I cannot imagine anything I could do on a date that would come back to bite me in the ass.  Whether I knew he had the blog or not, I know that I would handle myself in a way I could be proud of.

I’m looking forward to my lunch today.  I am in it to win it and if these JDate professionals can give me suggestions on how to make my experience better, then I’m thankful.  It’s not every JDater who gets a one-on-one Jdate lesson so I appreciate them taking the time to help me out.

I am open to what they suggest in terms of my online dating practices, I am not however open to suggestions on how to write my blog.  There is no kinder and gentler blogger inside that needs to be coaxed out.  My blog is honest and open and that won’t change just to get a date.

I don’t want to compromise who I am in order to be what people think I should be.  I am certain there is a man out there who is confident enough to date a blogger, and wants to be the one who changes my blog from one about searching for love, to one about experiencing love.

It will take a man of strong character to date me and to be perfectly honest that was true long before I started to write the blog. I am a strong woman but not particularly tough and there is a difference.  Strong is a good thing and tough can be a bitchy thing.  I am more strong than bitchy.

It will be interesting to see what they propose. My goal is to share my life with someone and these are the experts in finding love on JDate so I will be listening.  I am going to lunch with an open mind and a willing heart.  My guard is up a little, but more importantly, I am keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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