On Sunday night I went on JDate and I saw a picture of a man I thought was really attractive. I read his profile, and found myself smiling, intrigued by what he wrote. I sent him an email letting him know I enjoyed the boldness of his comments, and signed my name.
I never told him I was interested in him, I simply let him know I had checked out his profile. I was hoping if I made initial contact, he would then be interested in me too, and get in touch. Passive aggressive? I suppose so, but that’s what I did, and I heard from him on Tuesday night.
There are days when I feel very bold and am able to put myself out there in a clear way, and other days when it takes all my strength to just send a passive aggressive message and hope he responds. To be honest, my insecurity has only come into play since I’ve been on JDate.
When I was on match.com, I was contacted daily, and dated often, in an attempt to meet my Beshert. On JDate, I have been contact by about 6 men in 6 weeks. It turns out my blog, which was started out of a desire to meet a Jewish man, may now be a bit of a hindrance to my dating life.
To clarify, the man I wrote to said he appreciated that I wrote him, but he did not feel we were a match. He wrote that he was “keeping the faith”, and wished me well. When he put quotations around keeping the faith, I knew he was familiar with my blog. It was flattering, and crushing.
It snapped me back into my bold self, so I wrote to ask how long he had been reading my blog at the Jewish Journal. He responded that he had been reading since my date with “Richard”, which was about 6 months ago, and said he could not go out with someone “public”, as he was private.
I sometimes forget anyone besides my family is reading, so I was surprised by his note. If you put your picture up on a dating site, write a bunch of stuff about yourself, including what you do, how much money you make, and what your hopes and dreams are, then how private are you?
We ended up having a nice conversation, and it turns out the blog made him nervous. He said that while he admired my honesty in putting my thoughts and feelings out there in a way that was refreshing, it was intimidating to possibly expose his private life in such a public way.
I don’t mention my dates by their real names, and there are no pictures posted, but the fact is, I write a blog about my life, and my opinions, and the man I ultimately have a relationship with, is going to be a part of that, even if nobody ever knows who he really is.
So here I am, looking for my Beshert with a public blog on a major Jewish website. What do I do? There is only one answer really. I weed through the masses on Jdate, until I find a secure man who is brave enough to deal with a little baggage, or in this case, a little bloggage.
Will I ever meet a man who is brave enough to take on me and my blog? One could argue having two cats and a teenager would be considered baggage, but for me, it turns out my baggage comes in the form of a little blog, that at least one single Jewish man in Los Angeles reads.
My desire is to meet a Jewish man, so my odds should be good on JDate. I can’t just give up so I’m going to buckle up and take the wheel. There has got to be a man out there who is not afraid of my blog, and I will know him when I meet him, because he will be keeping the faith.
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