I love sleeping. Really, really love it. I love my bed, clean high thread count sheets, fluffy pillows and comfy pajamas. I love all the things that contribute to a good nights sleep. Sadly, the one thing I am missing in my search for the perfect nights rest, is the ability to sleep.
I have not been sleeping well. I have suffered from insomnia in the past, but this time it’s hanging on a little longer than usual. It’s a horrible feeling to be all tucked in to a fabulous bed, exhausted, and then just lay there unable to turn off your brain long enough to actually sleep.
There is nothing particularly stressful going on in my life. All is well. My son is good, work is good, and life is good. For a reason that I do not know, I just can’t sleep. Last night it took all my strength not to buy a juicer at 2:45 am when I finally caved and turned on the television.
Ever since I bought a food dehydrator, during the insomnia of 2008, I try to not turn on the television once I’m in bed. No good can come from surfing through the channels when you are desperate for sleep. You are so tired and frustrated that taking out your credit card somehow makes sense.
I have counted sheep, sprayed lavender on my pillows, had a glass of wine, taken Tylenol PM and a wide variety of other things that people tell me will help, but in the end, over the past two weeks, I have not slept more than four hours. I’m hoping that with the weekend, will perhaps come a good nap.
Yesterday I was at a meeting with a writing partner. We met at her house and she has a dog. This is a big, kind of dopey, gorgeous dog. She came into the room, plopped herself down, and immediately went into a deep sleep and started to snore. It was very cute, but I was so jealous.
At one point the sound of her snoring was hypnotizing and I felt she was calling me to sleep. I almost got down on the floor and snuggled up. I like the sound of snoring. It’s soothing to me. If I don’t get some sleep this weekend I might need to have a certain dog come over for a play date.
I’m so tired. I pray that all the pieces will fall into place and when I crawl into bed tonight it will result in sleep. Just incase that does not happen, tonight I am going to give melatonin a try. I bought it at Whole Foods and I hear it will do the trick. I want to sleep more than anything.
Have a good weekend everyone. Take good care of yourselves, help out a stranger for no reason, call someone you have lost touch with and say hello, tell those you love that they matter, eat a great meal, remember to laugh, get a good nights sleep and do it all while keeping the faith.
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