Jewish Journal

If only our choices came with a guarantee

by Ilana Angel

April 14, 2010 | 11:12 am

I am blessed.  I get to be the mother to my fantastic child.  He is a very special boy.  He is smart, funny, kind, gentle, caring, compassionate, and one of the few people who can make me laugh out loud until my stomach hurts.  This young man has changed my life, and he will change the world one day. 

I am blessed.  I have a mother who inspires me, a brother who lifts me up, and sisters who shape my heart.  It’s a crazy family to be sure, but I love them.  I miss my father every day, and feel fortunate to have so many great memories of him in my mind.  I love them all.

I am blessed.  I have friends who mean everything to me.  I think when your family lives far away, you embrace friendships in a different way.  My friends are like family.  After 18 years in Los Angeles, I have surrounded myself with people that I love and trust.

This morning my life got complicated.  I am forced to look at things differently, and make some decisions that are difficult.  It’s not the end of the world, and no one is going to die, but it’s unnerving when choices need to be made, that you are not prepared to make.

If only there was a way to know if the choices I make, are right.  I wish I could know what the repercussions of my decisions are.  I want a guarantee!  I want someone to tell me it’s going to be okay.  I’m tough, but some days it’s takes all my strength to keep the faith.

At the end of the day, it will all be fine.  I believe things will work out as they are supposed to, and that my choices will ultimately be proven to be the right ones.  Time will tell.  I will find the strength.  I will remain hopeful.  I will think positive.  I will keep the faith.

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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