November 4, 2009 | 11:36 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I would like to take a break from my single girl ranting to talk about my disgust at the voters of Maine for rejecting gay marriage. I can remember a time when 2009 was supposed to be the future and all would be equal yet here we are living in the greatest country in the world and not all of our citizens are treated equally and it is beyond embarrassing.
As you all know I am searching for love and hope to get married one day and let me tell you something, when I look at the relationships of people in my life I covet the loving and successful partnerships of my gay friends and it is important to note their relationships are not successful because they are gay they are successful because they are loving and decent people.
For the last 13 years I have had a not so secret crush on Andy Nicastro. Andy is gorgeous, smart, funny, seriously addicted to reality television and my Beshert. I have wanted to marry Andy forever and by marry him of course I mean that he is completely unavailable and unavailable men are my thing and by unavailable of course I mean he is gay.
Andy and his better half Patrick have been together for 16 years and by better half of course I mean better half. I would actually marry either one of these men. They have a loving and caring bond that is beautiful and I just cannot understand why so many people think it is wrong. Here are two people who are putting in the work to have a successful relationship and they are rewarded by being singled out as lesser human beings.
I have two other friends Bill and Bill, I know it’s cute that they are both named Bill, who have been together for 11 years. They have a delicious little boy who is being raised by two loving and caring parents and he will grow up seeing what it is for two adults to love and support each other and his parents cannot get married because a bunch of people who live in the dark ages and have never met them said it was wrong.
These two men are both school teachers which means that they are heros and work really hard to help mold the future of this country for virtually no money and we can tell them that we appreciate their work as teachers but in the same breath tell them they are not worthy of the rights that the rest of us have.
What kind of message does that send to their little boy and to all of our children? There are kids being raised in horrible situations and learning that is ok and yet these men are not allowed to get married? I would rather have my son have the relationships of Andy and Patrick and Bill and Bill as a role model of what he should seek for himself over the dysfunctional marriages of many of my heterosexual friends.
This is the future people and to those with closed minds and dark black hearts it’s time you opened your eyes and realized that you are ruining it. Figure it out people and do it quickly and we will forgive you and by forgive you of course I mean when we kick your @$$ it will be quick but our patience is running out so get it together already.
To Bill, Bill, Leslie, Michelle, Scott, Paul, Patrick, Andy and all the fabulous gay people in my life I love you and will not get married until we can all get married and by not getting married of course I mean I won’t unless he’s a gorgeous Jewish doctor in which case I know you would all take one for the team and insist I marry him because you are all givers like that.
To my darling Andy, I have loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you and one day I will dance at your wedding. It’s important for you to note that when they allow gay marriage it does not mean that you need to marry someone who is gay and so perhaps when I dance at your wedding it will also be my wedding and I will be wearing a white dress and Patrick can give me away as a show of peace that you and I are finally together. Oh a girl can dream and anything is possible if I keep the faith.
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