November 12, 2009 | 8:43 am

I Heart ABC

Posted by Ilana Angel

Last night I discovered that while I have been searching for love I actually fell in love.  It’s official. I heart ABC.  I am having a love affair with ABC Television which is weird because I can remember a time when I watched nothing on ABC and by watched nothing of course I mean they had nothing good.  Now so many of the shows I love are there and spending a night in is more enjoyable than going on a date with someone who lied about his age, height and wife.

It’s odd to me that the ratings for some of these ABC shows are not higher and it begs the question who is Mr. Nielson and who at CBS is trading sexual favors for a few boxes?  I’d like to have a Nielson box in my house because ABC rocks and if the shows I watch are cancelled because someone at Nielson said nobody was watching them I’m going to have to kick some @$$.

Important to note that I don’t work for ABC and by not working for them of course I mean I want to work for them and they should hire me to be their online blogger because I love them and I’m a blogger and that just makes sense.  I figure if I reached out to Mike Fleiss forever and now we’re BFF’s then I should be giving a shout out to Stephen McPherson.  Stephen, Steve, sweetie, call me.  You need a blogger and it should be me because who better to talk about your shows than someone who really loves them?

While I anxiously wait for the new season of The Bachelor to premier in January I’ve been watching some really entertaining stuff.  In terms of reality television it does not get better than Dancing With The Stars and now that Aaron Carter is gone I can watch the last couple of weeks with complete joy.  Extreme Home Makeover always makes me cry and Find My Family is going to kill me but I will watch it and love it.  Super Nanny performs miracles and Shark Tank is brilliant and it’s not because there are so many Canadians on there, its just brilliant.

Modern Family may be the best sitcom on television and if you are not watching it you must because it is hilarious and smart.  Cougartown took me a minute to get because I don’t know any divorced women who look like Courtney Cox Arquette but that said, it has grown on me and you cannot watch it and not love her and her friends.  It makes me laugh out loud and that is hard to do because I’m so jaded and bitter and by jaded and bitter of course I mean I love sitcoms and am jaded because there is a lot of not funny stuff on television and this one is a winner and people need to watch it and bitter because clearly the Nielson boxes are in the homes of people who have no sense of humor.

Desperate Housewives, Lost, Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy are still great and I’m not tired of any of them and the new shows like V and Flash Forward are just good television.  When the FBI agent on V turned out to be an alien my son and I started screaming at the television, which is always a good sign and when Jessica Capshaw gave the speech to Hector Elizondo about being gay I was bawling like a baby.  Of course there are a couple of duds and by duds I mean there are only so many hours in the day that I can watch television so they are duds because I can’t get them on my personal schedule.

I can think of no better job than to watch ABC all day and blog about it and by no better job of course I mean Stephen MacPherson must call me.  I would happily “take a meeting” to get started on my blogging.  It is comforting to know that when I cannot bring myself to go on another JDate I can always snuggle up in bed with ABC but with that said, when I meet my Beshert, and I will, I won’t break up with ABC I will just make sure that he falls in love with her like I did.

Once I start working for ABC I will of course still blog for The Jewish Journal and will still travel on the JDate Hell Train because I’m a great multi-tasker and I’m on a focused mission.  I will find love, share the joy that is ABC Television and my JDate experience will not be complete until I have dated all the men who are married, convicted felons and don’t know the difference between 5’4” and 5’10”.  It’s important to have a goal and all goals are attainable if you just keep the faith.

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