February 8, 2012 | 9:49 am

I Don’t Believe in Gay Marriage

Posted by Ilana Angel

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To say that one supports gay marriage implies that gay marriage is somehow different from traditional marriage.  It’s not.  I think all people deserve the right to marry whether they are gay or straight.  If people are going to insist on differentiating gay marriage from traditional marriage, then let’s determine exactly what is different.

If I look at the marriages of my friends, then I hope to have a gay marriage myself one day.  My gay married friends are happy, caring, supportive and sexual couples.  My traditionally married friends are stressed, angry, bored, and not at all sexual.  Instead of banning gay marriage, we should be trying to figure out how all marriages can be so good.

I’m not saying that all gay marriages are fabulous, I’m just saying that in my own experience, the gay marriages that I see first hand are the ones that I hope to have for myself one day.  Marriage is a great thing and labeling marriage as gay is ridiculous.  We are human beings, and while I am not gay, I will fight for the equality of marriage for all.

This week in California, Prop 8, which calls for a ban on gay marriage, was ruled unconstitutional.  It’s a great thing, but how many baby steps will be required before people see that marriage is not about gender?  Just as racial segregation, women’s suffrage, and religious persecution are wrong, so is a ban on gay marriage.  We are human first.

For a country with so many problems to be focusing so much of our governments time and money on gay marriage is baffling.  There are children starving in America.  There are people losing their jobs, homes, and hope in America. Will any of their lives be made better by spending money on trying to stop same sex couple from getting married?  Not at all.

I believe in marriage.  I also believe in humanity.  This ruling is important beyond gay rights.  It is important because it is a step towards equality for the gay community and also towards our being a decent and fair society. Black, white, gay, straight, Jewish or gentile, we are human first and marriage is a blessing we all deserve to experience.

This ruling against Prop 8 is a victory.  It’s just the beginning of course, and there will be lots of appeals and additional rulings, but the good news is that this moment, right now, is spectacular because people were decent.  Humanity won with this ruling and that matters.  If we can unite on this day, then we can unite again, which means the world gets better.

I don’t believe in gay marriage.  I do believe that finding love is near impossible, and making a vow before friends, family and God, saying you are going to love a person unconditionally and build a life together, is a difficult love to find, so God bless anyone who can find it.  Their sexual orientation does not matter.  I believe in marriage, and am keeping the faith.