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Jewish Journal

HAPPY NEW YEAR

by Ilana Angel

December 30, 2013 | 11:00 pm

I am going to make a lot of changes in 2014. Some will be on purpose, some will be by accident, some I will have no control over, and some will be a surprise. 2014 is the year my son will go away to university, the year I find love, the year I fit into my skinny jeans, the year I learn to avoid boys pretending to be men, and the year I learn when a douchebag is pretending to be a mensch. All of it will be interesting, some of it will be great.

I am going to write more and cry less. I am going to date more but waste less time dating. I am going to see the woman I know I am, not the woman the loser men I have dated tried to make me think I am. I am going to be bold, aware, and happy. I am going to send my son off to university with a smile on my face, a lump in my throat, and all of his dreams in my heart. I am going to turn 48 and enjoy every single moment.

I dream about dancing at my son’s wedding, going to the movies with my grandchildren, waking up in the arms of a man who loves me, seeing a cure to cancer in my lifetime, celebrate that anyone who wants to get married can. I live with gratitude for the military, living in America, being a mother, and having wonderful memories of my father. This is the year I will focus on finding good and not remembering bad.

Life is a blessing and that you come here to read my work everyday is something I appreciate very much. I feel like I have partners in crime, witnesses to my life, and real friendships. To the people I have come to know, thank you for being here. To those who have tried to break me, thank you too.  I am stronger, wiser, and funnier because of all of you. I see the world in my own way, but also enjoy different angles through you.

To my son, you are everything to me. I am so proud of who you are and who you are still becoming. You make my heart sing in a way I did not know was possible. Being your mother is my greatest joy and this blog is a love letter to you. When you sit and read what I have written over the years you will know me, understand what you mean to me, and see that you are my sunshine. I am able to see God through you.

I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year. I hope 2014 brings you happiness and peace. If you want love, I hope you find it. If you need strength, I will give you some of mine. If you need to be brave, I will give you a nudge. If you need a shoulder, I will listen. If you need a friend, I am here. I am able to do these things for you because you have done them for me. Happy New Year! Thank you reading and for keeping the faith.

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