October 2, 2012 | 6:26 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Why is it that when you are single you cannot find a decent guy to date, but when you are in a relationship, men are not only everywhere, but they are interested in you? I have been dating the Englishman for almost 7 months and I have never had so many men ask me out. Very strange.
When I was out running errands yesterday, a man asked me if we knew each other. He looked a little familiar, but I think it was probably from a fantasy of mine, not because we knew each other. He was a very handsome man with an easy smile and curly grey hair. For a minute I fluttered.
We chatted for a couple of minutes while he tried to figure out how we new each other. By figure out of course I mean his ploy to keep a conversation going was both pathetic and admirable. He finally gave up on the charade and asked me if he could take me out for dinner sometime.
I thanked him for the invitation and told him I was dating someone. He blushed a little and said it was to be expected, which made me laugh. Once the pressure of asking me out was gone, we had an interesting conversation about how hard it was to date when you are older.
He is 54, divorced with grown kids, and has been on his own for just over a year. He has absolutely no game, but his attractiveness certainly helps him out. His ex-wife just remarried and he is feeling vulnerable, like a bit of a loser, and unsure why he is having such a hard time.
He told me that when he was married, women hit on him all the time, but since being single women don’t seem to be that into him. Our bodies give out a signal when we are available that is clearly some kind of a repellant, and we smell delicious when we are in a relationship.
I can remember dating men who made me want to vomit, and men who actually did vomit, and thinking I was going to die alone in line at the animal shelter getting another cat. There are a lot of freaks out there but there are also decent and kind people.
Turns out dating is not about luck or fate, as much as it is about smell. We can give off a smell of contentment or desperation, so we need to be careful. I am in love and giving off a smell of happiness, which men are attracted to that. Happiness smells better than bitterness.
I was alone for a long time and having found someone whose company I enjoy is really wonderful. When a man hits on me now it makes me proud and happy. Proud that I smell like happiness not desperation, and happy that I don’t need to play the dating game any longer.
To be clear, even though I am in a serious and committed relationship with the Englishman, it is still a game. I am navigating the choppy waters of love and it is hard, but there is comfort in knowing who I am dealing with. When you date someone new, there is a lot of unknown.
I know exactly what I am dealing with in my relationship because there are no surprises or skeletons at this point. Important to note that last sentence is complete crap. There are no guarantees in any relationship but time is making us stronger, and our fear weaker.
The only thing that matters is that I am in love and I stink of happiness. I believe we have the power to change the scent we give off, and so I hope those who are alone and looking are able to make themselves stink, so they find love. Think positive, and keep the faith.
5.22.13 at 6:34 am | I am forever touched by this young man.
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date.
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass.
5.11.13 at 12:44 pm | My Mom gets the day off because this one is on me.
5.9.13 at 4:10 pm | Love s certainly a game, but it does not need to. . .
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass. (393)
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date. (384)
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch. (326)
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