March 24, 2012 | 8:20 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
There has certainly been a lot going on lately, and while all of these subjects deserve an article all to themselves, I am in Mommy mode this week and with my child’s insane schedule, I have opted to throw them all into one blog. It makes sense really because the one piece that connects these 4 things together, is being a douchebag. So, this is a blog about douchebags.
Geraldo Rivera was a bit of a loser this week. By loser of course I mean total douchebag. In an interview on Fox he said that part of the blame for the murder of Trayvon Martin lies in his wearing a hoodie. Important to note that I am wearing a hoodie right now. I also sent my 16 year old son out with his friends in a hoodie today. Hoodies don’t kill people moron.
Trayvon was killed by George Zimmerman, a member of neighborhood watch, on his way home from a convenience store. An innocent child is dead, they know who killed him, and no arrest has been made. I feel bad for both the Zimmerman and Martin families, and I resent Geraldo using the tragic death of this child to get his name out there.
Geraldo is an idiot, but he’s not stupid. There is no way he did not know this would piss people off. I get his need to feel relevant, but a child is dead and to imply it was not because of an overzealous idiot who thinks he is the law, but a jacket, is offensive to Martin’s family. Have they not had to suffer enough? How do his remarks help anyone?
Geraldo Rivera said something provocative to propel his name into the news around a story that is grabbing headlines. In the end he embarrassed himself and his family. Thank you Geraldo. You brought attention to a story that needs to be told, and proved to my son’s generation what my generation has always known, Geraldo Rivera is a douchebag.
Kim Kardashian was out hocking her 4th bottle of crap smelling perfume, when a woman who is against fur, dumped a bag of flour on her. Sidebar: It was awesome since I happen to think that many of things that are wrong with our world can be blamed on a Kardashian. Kim quickly ran off to safety and the woman was detained by security.
Kim came back a short time later, all cleaned up and ready to finish out the event. She was doing the launch in collaboration with Dress For Success, which is a great charity. She went on and on about how she came back to the party because it was about the charity, not her, and she did not want to disappoint any of the people who had worked so hard.
She then called TMZ and told Harvey Levin she was not pressing charges because it was not worth her time. She was shocked someone who is fighting for kindness to animals, was unkind, but I didn’t really listen that closely because her voice makes my brain ache. She went on and on to Harvey about how she was not going to press charges.
Harvey applauded her for going back to the event, and laughed when she joked about not having it in her to deal with another lawsuit. She sounded almost normal, and for a nanosecond one could assume she was decent. Cut to today and word is she is pressing charges. This chick would sue God if it meant more press. Kim Kardashian is a douchebag.
I have been following the story of John Goodman, the billionaire from Florida who got hammered, killed a young man while DUI, then in an attempt to protect his vast fortune, adopted his 42 year old girlfriend so she would be his daughter and he could give her his money so it would not be touched in any lawsuit from the family of the victim.
Goodman surpasses douchebag status and jumps straight to douchelord. He had the balls to say in court that the accident happened because of a car defect. Important to note he was driving a Bentley worth over $200K not a 67 Chevy with it’s 9th transmission. This man, this horrible and disgusting man, was found guilty of DUI manslaughter. Amen.
Scott Wilson was 23 years old and an engineering student. He had his whole life ahead of him, and Goodman, decided that his life did not matter. He hit him and left him to die. Would Scott have lived had Goodman stayed and called for help? We will never know, but Goodman will be able to think about it while he rots in jail, with his pal Bubba, who wears a hoodie.
I cannot mention John Goodman without talking about his attorney Roy Black for a minute. This guy is also a douchelord. He is filing an appeal of course and that is shameful. He and he reality housewife hag should be ashamed. He is an ambulance chaser which is ironic since his loser client never bothered to call an ambulance to help Scott Wilson.
Goodman’s girlfriend/daughter now has his money, will dump him, his kids will not speak to him because they are pissed about their new sister, and perhaps the Wilson family can have some peace that justice was served. I’m not sure what the justice is though. Sending a douchebag to prison is not justice, it’s just right. John Goodman is a douchebag.
Just when I thought I would never understand the world we live in, I am given yet another reason to roll my eyes. There is a list being passed around on Twitter that claims to out the top rated bullies on Twitter, and I have made the list. I don’t know the person is who made the list, or why I am on it, but there I am, a top bully on Twitter.
I think the list is funny because the woman they listed as the #1 bully is actually quite lovely. We’ll call her “Bea”, and let me just say she is the Switzerland of Twitter. She is friendly with lots of people, follows people that don’t follow each other, and pretty much minds her own business. I knew the list was silly when I saw Bea had secured the top spot.
I’m not a bully on Twitter, or in real life. I’m a mom, daughter, friend, Jew, writer, and occasionally a bitch. I imagine I am there by association and that’s okay. People need something to do, so if making a list fulfills them in some way who am I to judge it or try to take it away from them? I would simply ask those who are responsible for the list, why?
I recently got a series of angry, hate filled emails from a woman we’ll call “Ada”. She wrote to tell me that someone who follows me on Twitter was being mean to her and I needed to help her because she was Jewish. It was a little odd. I let her know I am a writer, not a Jewish peacemaker, so she was on her own and I wished her luck.
Important to note that Twitter is very, very scary. There are people with multiple accounts and one can love you on one account, but their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th alias hates you. I can’t keep it all straight so rather than try to figure it out, I try to keep my head down, do my work, and engage with the people have met who are genuinely lovely and inherently kind.
I think my shunning of Ada and her ask for help is what got me on the list. I have to wonder what the hell kind of lives these women have to spend so much time figuring out new ways to make Twitter miserable for so many. I also wonder if the inventors of Twitter are aware or give a crap about the hate that happens on their site. I’m guessing no.
I’m not innocent of course as I have been unkind to a woman on Twitter we’ll call “Lee”. She is, in my opinion, not well and on a personal path to hurt me. She has and continues to be quite horrible to me and I have lashed out from a place of hurt, fear, and anger. I’m human after all, but I am trying to feel compassion for her as she is not of stable mind.
There is no live and let live mentality on Twitter. It’s more of a kill or be killed vibe. To the people who have created the list I would suggest they channel their anger away from the list and towards John Goodman, Geraldo Rivera and Kim Kardashian. Goodman is a killer, Rivera is a moron, and Kim has more money than God, so get pissed in that direction.
It is embarrassing that while two mothers are grieving the deaths of their beloved sons, someone needed to make a list. If you really want to put me on a list, put me on the “Bloggers Who Deserve a Date With George Clooney” list. Life is fragile so get some perspective. We are all in this together. Don’t be a douchebag, just put your weapons down and start keeping the faith.
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