April 11, 2013 | 4:09 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I saw an old friend this morning and it renewed my faith in both myself, and my hopes for the future. We have not spoken in a while and it made me sad. We had a difference of opinion on what friendship is, and it caused us to not speak. I had to search deep to find the strength to put aside my ego and reach out. A day turns into a week, and a week into a month, so before too much time had passed, I went over to talk.
We didn’t really speak of what our falling out was about, as much as what our friendship means and why it is slipping away. I did most of the talking, shocking, and simply expressed my hurt at our not speaking. It felt good to tell my friend that not only was I hurt, but I was not giving up. Adult friendships are really complicated and difficult to maintain. With work and kids, time and effort is required to stay connected.
I love this friend. We are very close, and have an unwavering support of the hopes and dreams of each other. Having someone in your corner cheering you on is invaluable and when that voice is missing, it is a deafening silence. In the weeks we have not spoken the voice that channels the words of support, even when it is just in my head, has been missed. It has altered how I approach each day and I needed to get it back.
Feelings are hurt, and that is not quickly forgotten, but it is forgiven, and life goes on. It may be awkward for a little while as we both hold our breath for a minute, but it will be fine. Friendship matters and when you find someone that you trust to hold onto your dreams when you are unable to, you must fight for that friendship. I may have swallowed my pride this time, but over the course of our friendship, it won’t always be me.
Friendship requires faith, forgiveness and hope. When I think of my future, this friend is with me. Sometimes behind me pushing, sometimes in front of me pulling, but always beside me, whispering in my ear that I am going to be okay. The same is true of my role. If you are missing a friend, call them. It does not matter how much time has passed, or if you even remember why you are not speaking, what matters is that you call.
To my friend, thank you. Thank you for listening, for accepting my apology, and for offering your own. Life is short and time has been wasted. We don’t know what form our friendship will take, or how long it will be awkward, but things needed to be said, and in the end there is love. I wish a friendship like this for everyone. It may be good, bad, and occasionally ugly, but it is authentic, important, and inspires me to keep the faith.
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