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Jewish Journal

Donny Osmond? Whatever!

by Ilana Angel

November 25, 2009 | 12:36 pm

My son is going to the KISS concert tonight at the Staples Center and in a feeble attempt to be the coolest mom ever I am going with him.  We will be a group of 4 kids and 4 moms and I will be the crazy old lady in full KISS makeup who appears to have no sense of rhythm as I will be listening to Celine Dion on my iPod while I drown out the sound of KISS.  The things we do for our kids and for our kids of course I mean for ourselves as we try to be cool and stay young.

For my loyal followers you know that I love television and write about it quite often.  Well my darlings I am going to branch out and will be blogging all about television at www.thewrap.com starting this week.  It will be my no holds barred opinion about the shows that I love and hate and while I am not one to be completely open with my opinions I will try really hard to be honest.  Keeping the Faith will continue as it is my blogging baby and I’m not giving it up until there is a ring on my finger and by ring on my finger of course I mean that I would be happy to have a date that does not make me want to pull all my hair out and chew on glass.

Do you think that there is any possibility that JDate is black listing me?  Perhaps I have made one too many hell train references and so they are secretly sabotaging my search for love.  I hate to sound paranoid but I wrote to 3 men on the train and not one wrote back, not even an acknowledgement that I wrote so I wonder if they even got the email.  I have listed my preferences in terms of who I am looking for but the people who write are either in their 20’s or 60’s so I can’t help but wonder.  JDate, why so angry?  It would behoove you to have me find love because then I will get off the hell train and onto the love train.  I’m just saying.

I am disgusted that Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars and while I know it is supposed to be about dancing let’s get real people, this was about the popular vote and it would appear that the popular vote in America is made up of a bunch of homophobes.  His opinion about homosexuality is crazy and stupid and therefore, in my humble opinion, Donny Osmond is crazy and stupid.  When he started to sing Puppy Love for a split second I forgot he was a moron but then it all came back to me.  I wanted very much for Kelly Osbourne to win and am disappointed that a bunch of loons in middle America took it away from her because they are insane.

Steve Mcpherson has not called me and it is crushing because I thought for sure the blog from yesterday would seal the deal.  My darling Mr. McPherson, you need me and I will continue to remind you that you need me until you call me and by call me I mean hire and by hire me all I really mean is meet with me.  I’m very good at selling myself and not in a prostitution kind of way although one could argue that working in the entertainment industry requires you to sell yourself and so as long as I am selling myself and not my soul then I guess that’s good.  Call me before I kick into full on stalking mode and pull out the Extreme Home Makeover single mom card.

I am going to do my KISS research now so I can properly paint the face of my child so that Gene Simmons himself will be impressed.  I am dreading 2 hours of pounding rock and roll but I will spend the day with joy in my heart that I am able to share this experience with my son and the knowledge that Steve is going to call me today.  It will happen because this is a week of giving thanks in addition to keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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