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Dating 101: Sex & the Los Angeles Single

by Ilana Angel

October 28, 2013 | 2:20 pm

I am 47 years old, single, open, uninhibited, aware, and sexual.  I am also a mother, Jewish, neurotic, beginning a new relationship, not only in charge of my sexual self, but completely intimidated by that part of me. At a time when I should be swinging from the rafters, I wonder what God thinks of me if I embrace sex and all it has to offer.

Sex is complicated and in a city like Los Angeles, it is also creepy.  Getting laid is not hard in this town.  One can go on JDate and in about 24 hours the invitations will pour in. One can choose to be bold and go on Ashley Madison, where it only takes only about 5 minutes for offers to arrive.  Sex is not hard to find, it is monogamy that is elusive.

I feel safe when I am in a relationship, and while I do not need a man in my life, I am happy when there is one.  I enjoy the touch, companionship, and wisdom of a good man.  I give everything I have to my relationships and all I ask in return is that I receive honesty, decency, and monogamy. Sex is wonderful, and being sexual is important, but I am at a point in my life where I am not willing to have sex without feelings, commitment, and monogamy.  I’d love to have sex without a list of requirements, but in the end I can’t, so I applaud those who can and do.

In writing about sex, and hearing from women going through the same things, it occurred to me that we are seeking permission.  Permission to be sexual and not worry about what anyone thinks, including God.  If we are not married, and mothers, is it okay for us to have great sex? With whoever we want? As often as we want?  From the chandelier if we want? We have a lot of questions, so I have invited some powerful and compelling voices to give us answers. When it comes to God and what the bible says about sex, who better to ask than Rabbi Ed Feinstein of Valley Beth Shalom? This is a very cool Rabbi and I am looking forward to talking with him about sex and the role it plays in my being a mother and a Jew.

When it comes to sex and the ridiculous pressure we put on ourselves, there is no voice as important as Dr. Limor Blockman. 
Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health & Community Medicine, and a Bachelor’s in Psychology & Behavioral Sciences. She is brave, bold, honest, and able to uncomplicate and demystify sex for us. I could write a book about how I think men think about sex and it would be one page long because I don’t think men think about sex in any profound way.  That is why I am excited to have David Wygant join our panel.  David is one of the most popular relationship experts in the world. Specializing in helping men and the male perspective, David’s voice matters.

It is going to be a n interesting discussion of faith, the presence of sex in our religious teachings, and how to connect the dots to be sexually satisfied while embracing a comfortable and satisfying sexual and religious life.  Sex is a great thing and being a grown up should allow us to enjoy it without all the rules, most of which we make up ourselves. I am looking forward to talking about sex, always enjoy talking about faith, and am excited to discuss both in an open and safe forum with people who have the same questions, and those who will have some answers for us. I hope you will join me for a cocktail and fun night out. Sex matters, God is watching, and a good sex life requires us to keep the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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