My son was under the weather Monday so he stayed home from school. Tuesday he was feeling better but wasn’t up to speed so I kept him home. I took the day off and we had time together. My son loves school, rarely misses, and so for him to say he does not want to go has value. Having meaningful time with him was wonderful.
I made him breakfast and we got to talking. We spoke of an upcoming college interview, a trip to NYC for another interview we have planned, our trip to London in May, and life in general. He has a lot of dreams and hopes, but also fears and worries. To spend time hearing about his goals was really special and I was treasuring the day.
After I put on a pot of chicken soup for dinner, I took him out for lunch so he could get some fresh air having been home for a couple of days. As we were getting into a deep conversation, the man at the table next to us asked to borrow our salt. Important to note he had salt on his table. I passed the salt and went back to my son.
The salt borrower was sitting with another man and while I was immersed in what my son was talking about, I noticed they were not speaking to each other and seemed to be listening to our conversation. It was odd and I wondered how long I would wait to tell them to stop. My son also noticed and we made funny eye rolls at each other.
Lunch arrived and I leaned back for the waiter to place my food and noticed the man was staring. My son went to wash his hands and as I waited, the man asked if I was married. It took me by surprise and I asked what he said as I was certain I heard him incorrectly. He asked again if I was married. I started laughing uncomfortably.
My son returned and the man gathered up what I assume are massive balls, and asked my son if I was married. Now it was my son’s turn to laugh. He let the man know I was not married, available, vegetarian, enjoyed long walks on the beach, red wine, and threw in that unless he was Jewish he didn’t stand a chance with me.
It was entertaining. If by entertaining I mean mortifying. The man, who we will call “Ballsy”, works in PR, is in fact Jewish, and has chutzpah. I was blushing and feeling awkward while his friend was laughing, and my son was carrying on a full-blown conversation with Ballsy. It was hilarious to hear my son, but eye stared twitching.
Listening to my son talk about me was interesting. He knows me well and it made me happy. He was funny, charming, witty, and protective. As much as he shared about me, he asked about Ballsy. I was floating above the table having some kind of out of body experience while my son is talked about me with two complete strangers.
By the end of lunch Ballsy and his friend were high fiving my son and making Super Bowl predictions. Ballsy even asked for my number and my son told him we would need to discuss it so he would have to get his number and should he decide it was a match, he would give him a call. It was a moment unlike any I have ever experienced.
Ballsy picked up our check, shook my son’s hand, gave him his business card, and kissed me on the cheek. My son told him to “settle down”, and it was hilarious. My son was a football player during lunch. He played offense, defense, and quarterback the entire time. He led the charge, stopped the charge, and invited the charge.
It was a wonderful day and we came home to the smell of chicken soup. I am looking at my child a little differently today. He is articulate, funny, aware, smart, savvy, compassionate, empathetic, and able to protect me, even though it is my job to protect him. He is my child, but also my equal, my teacher, and my inspiration.
I don’t know if I will call Ballsy. I’m not feeling much like dating. Perhaps I'm too jaded to give anyone a fair shot. I feel like I am waiting for something, but have no idea what I am waiting for. I know what I want, clear on what I need, and thought I had found the person to give it all to me so an adjustment needs to be made.
I can’t help but wonder if I should even be in the game. Perhaps the best thing is to bench myself until I can play rather than simply go through the motions. Maybe I need to just jump in the game and not think so much. Maybe I need to have my son pre-screen my dates. Or maybe I just need to relax and keep the faith.
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