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Jewish Journal

Dating 101: Love is Blind

by Ilana Angel

May 14, 2013 | 4:36 pm

The process of dating is really hard.  When you are going on a series of first dates, it is also exhausting.  It takes a lot of time to get ready, to engage in banter with a stranger, to convince yourself that you want to be there, and not at home in your pajamas with a glass of wine.  Dating is simply a means to an end, and everyone’s ending is different.  Some end in love, some end in sex, and many end with the simple hope that the next one will be better.

When we meet someone new for the first time we may think we are meeting Prince Charming, when in fact we are having dinner with someone more like Ted Bundy.  It is actually quite scary and if I thought about it for too long, I would talk myself out of ever dating again.  When I factor in my child, I think he should never date either.  Dating is a risky business. The risk is too high for just sex, so I hope for love, and try to limit my expectations.

People are on their best behavior when dating, usually, and it is only with time that we learn all the details that make them who they are.  Sometimes we never learn, or perhaps learn too much, but is it time that truly allows you to know who you are dating?  Love is blind, which make us blind to the red flags that come with loving someone. How someone treats you when you are dating is important, but is that how they will be with you long term?

Are we are able to see clearly when blinded by love?  When dating, is the hope for love enough to blind us?  Why are we so easily blinded in all the ways that make love grand, but also in all the ways that break our hearts? That is the thing about love, there are no guarantees. Love makes people crazy.  It also makes smart people stupid, kind people mean, funny people bitter, and nice Jewish girls pray to Jesus for their hearts to mend.

It turns out that Love is a bitch.  Love teaches you how to fly, then breaks your wings.  How can Love be so grand, and also be so bitter? Love and Karma must be sisters.  Bitches. I know they are women because men are just not smart enough to screw us over like they do, which says a lot considering how much men screw us over.  I am too scared and too smart to date for sex, so I’m stuck looking for Love.  God help me.  Wait, God help her too.

I am over Love and her devilish ways so I am not going to put up with her games anymore.  I am looking for Love and when I find her, I am going to kick her ass.  I am going show her who is boss.  In return she will respect me, and my heart.  She will treat me with dignity and decency and allow our time together to be grand and not hurtful.  I am now talking about Love in the way that only a crazy person can.  Damn her for doing this to me.

Dating sucks.  It sucks a little more when you are 47 and surprised to find yourself dating again.  There are fun parts of it of course, but still, it sucks. The real struggle is not to find Love, but to find the strength to keep trying, to avoid the animal shelter, and to not do permanent damage to your liver. Love is grand.  She is also mean, nasty, vindictive, sarcastic and a pain in the ass.  The only shot in hell I have to find her, is by keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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