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Jewish Journal

Dating 101: JDate

by Ilana Angel

February 1, 2014 | 11:51 am

Credit: Karen Roach/Shutterstock.com

I am Jewish, single, only date Jewish men, and date online. This means one of the ways I meet men is through JDate. Well it should be, and it would be, if JDate did not suck. JDate is an advertiser here at jewishjournal.com and so it is important to note this blog is my opinion and does not reflect the opinion of anyone other than myself.

There is no perfect dating site, but as a Jew one expects JDate to be a little kinder, more focused on their members, and view things from a place of love not money. The last few dates I have had have been with men I met on Match.com. Match has a lot of great Jewish men, many of them sick and tired of the unpleasantness they experience on JDate.

I have been on and off of JDate forever. Many of the men there are using the same pictures they used when I joined a decade ago. The married man who poses as a single dentist is still there, even though women have complained about him. There are a lot of people so I guess at some point we need to cut them some slack for letting things slip by.

It’s online dating and therefore a crapshoot. It works if you are will to do the work, but even if you do the work it can still fail, so a lot of it is luck, timing, and prayer. I rejoined JDate a few weeks ago, looked around for a week, got a few emails, laughed at the quality of men I was dealing with, and cancelled the membership within 8 days. I received a confirmation.

My membership status clearly said the auto-renewal was off and my subscription was to end January 26.  Cut to January 27, I was charged for another month. I immediately went back in and re-activated my membership and confirmed auto-renewal was off. I wrote to the customer service department and asked why they charged me again.

I then received a series of emails that were either computer generated by a robot called “Sarah”, or there is in fact a mentally deficient woman named Sarah working in customer service at JDate.  We went back and forth about my membership and she was unable to understand what I was saying, even though she acknowledged what I was saying was true.

In the end I was frustrated with her inability to answer questions, or explain why I was charged. It’s only $40 and not the end of the world, but why agree I'm right then not refund the money because I'm wrong? She was confused, but not worried about losing a customer. JDate charged me without my authorization, and I will not use them again.

JDate lacks the mensch gene, which is a shame. More than a shame, it is shameful. To confirm I cancelled the auto-renewal, but not refund the charge because “they don’t do that”, is a bad call. To have someone working there who is unclear how the site works is a bad call. To value $40 over a customer is a bad call.

Had Sarah been able to simply explain to me why I was charged in a way that made sense, we wouldn’t have a problem. It was her inability to explain the policy that is annoying, and when I called customer service they were even more frustrating as I had to actually hear the stupidity rather than just assume the stupidity. I'm done wtih JDate.

They don’t care of course, and that is okay, but as someone who writes about online dating and has many readers who are travelling the same path, it is my duty as a consumer to share that JDate is not the way to go if you want to be valued as a customer. Online dating is hard and while I am somewhat jaded, at least I keep putting myself out there.

This is not an attack on JDate, as much as it is an observation. To date is stressful. You must put yourself out there is a big way, take a chance, trust a stranger, and hope for the best. If the people you hire to help you don’t have your back, then what shot in hell do you have for success? When you participate in online dating they are your support.

It is a solitary experience. You go online, read profiles, try to separate the truth from fiction, assume people are going to be kind, and pray you will not make a mistake. If the very people who are providing the opportunity for love are not invested in your search, why bother? JDate’s handling of my questons proved they don’t care about my search.

One could argue I am over thinking the exchange and need to get over it, but one could also argue that as a Jewish woman, looking to meet a Jewish man, and turning to the one Jewish based site for help, a little compassion should be available. Not once did they ask why I was cancelling. That says to me that JDate values my money over love.

I will find love, he will be Jewish, and there is a 100% chance he will not be found on JDate. To JDate, I would suggest they focus more on a person’s search than their wallet. As for my $40, keep it. In fact, not only keep it, but shove it up your tuchas. I will no longer be using JDate. When it comes to dating JDate is not keeping the faith.

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