April 20, 2010 | 12:24 am

Dancing With The Stars:  Kiss Kate…..Goodbye

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani

Why do I watch this show?  I have not figured it out yet, so if anyone else does, please let me know.  Not only do I watch it, for no apparent reason, I love it.  We’re down to 8 contestants, and it’s impossible to know who will stay, and who will go.

Brooke Burke:  Finally!  A dress that shows off her fabulous body, without making her chest appear to be lopsided.  She looked really beautiful last night, and if she can just stop slouching, she will be golden.

Niecy Nash:  Bless her for trying.  How can you not love her?  She is really funny, and the only one who appears to honestly be having a good time.  She takes the dancing seriously, but appreciates that it’s a reality competition show, and is not pretending to be something she is not.  She is not going to win, but I want her to stay.

Chad Ochocinco: Chad and Cheryl need to get a room.  In fact, it’s probably because they got a room, that they are losing focus.  Seriously, this man is beautiful, and Cheryl has fallen for him, and she is getting stressed out, because he is clearly going home soon, and the romance will fade.  If they could channel intimacy, instead of sex appeal, they would have a better shot.

Erin Andrews: I think the “clever” banter that Erin and Max exchange, is forced and fake.  It was entertaining in the beginning, when it was natural, but now it’s manufactured, and not that cute.  She is a good dancer, and I must admit that tonight she was almost likeable, but I don’t know if she will stay around.

Jake Pavelka: I’m hot and cold on Jake. Some weeks he has the best personality, and is an okay dancer.  Other times, he appears to have no personality, but is a brilliant dancer.  He was great this week, doing his best Tom Cruise impersonation.  I don’t imagine he will be around much longer, but either way, whatever Jake we get, there is something entertaining to watch.

Pamela Anderson:  I think she is fabulous, but for some reason her personality is coming across poorly.  She is a great dancer, she is beautiful, and fun to watch.  She just seems miserable, and comes across as negative, self centered, and uninterested.  Such a shame, because when given an opportunity to have America love her, she is not able to do it.  Oh well.

Kate Gosselin:  Oh.  My.  God.  Let’s not even talk about the dancing, because in the end it does not matter.  When asked what was going on with her this week, she whined, again.  Poor Kate has such a hard life.  Then, barely hiding her misery, said her kids visited her in Los Angeles.  She was not even excited.  Even with all that, I still think she will stay another week.

Nicole Scherzinger:  She is going to be in the finals.  This girl can dance, is beyond beautiful, and has a body that men admire and women covet.  She is not going home.  She is the guarantee, that if we watch, we are going to see at least one fabulous performance.  Her only problem may be that everyone assumes she will make it to the end, so they don’t vote for her.

Evan Lysacek:  He is brilliant.  Love the dancing, love the personality, love it all.  The problem is that he is a bit boring.  A great dancer to be sure, but no risks are taken.  He is very technical, which is what makes him a great skater, but it’s like we are watching a professional dancing pair, not a celebrity who is willing to push it to the limit, like Nicole does.

You never know what will happen with the votes, and anyone could go home.  If you are basing it on dancing, then it’s time for Kate to go.  If you are basing it on least appealing personality, then it’s time for Kate to go.  If you are basing it on being able to stomach watching it anymore, then it’s time for Kate to go.  To Kate, might I suggest you cross your fingers, and keep the faith.