October 6, 2009 | 12:31 pm

Dancing with the Stars

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I love this show.  I watch it every week and think to myself that I need to start taking ballroom dancing lessons.  I’m trying to bribe my son into being my partner but still no luck.  It’s a beautiful thing to learn and a great form of exercise and I’m sure a great way to meet gorgeous men and by gorgeous men of course I mean men that I can set up with my other gorgeous male friends.

Dancing with the Stars airs on ABC on Monday nights at 8 for the competition show and Tuesday nights at 9 for the results show.  Watching it makes me happy.  It is time in front of the television that is easy.  The costumes are beautiful and I adore Tom Bergeron and how Jeff Probst keeps winning an Emmy over Tom is one of the great mysteries of the world.

So last night while watching the show two interesting things happened.  First, I set up another date with my recycled man.  He really is intriguing so we’ll see what happens there.  Thursday night people, cross your fingers.  The other thing is that while watching my beloved and peaceful Dancing with the Stars I actually yelled at the television and on more than one occasion wanted to pluck my own eyes out.

Let’s start with Samantha Harris.  How is it possible that this woman has a job on television?  I’m sure she is lovely but she is so annoying and not funny that I don’t care how nice she may or may not be.  I can barely stand to watch her and actually want to mute the television when she is on but I can’t bring myself to miss out on the train wreck that inevitably happens every time she opens her mouth.

Donny Osmond was weird last night and I’m thinking it probably had something to do with vicadin.  Debi Mazar and her Satan eyes put some kind of a spell on my cat who would not stop crying when she saw her as if she was getting some kind of a message through the screen.  Aaron Carter forced me to look away and put my head between my legs to stop the nausea.

Don’t even get me started on Paula Abdul who was in the audience.  I LOVE HER and she should be a judge on that show.  If American Idol can go to four judges then so should DWTS and they need Paula on there fast!  That would be one of the greatest casting moves in the history of television.

I’m not sure when Dancing with the Stars changed from a peaceful and wholesome night of television to my favorite reality show but it has happened.  It was subtle and quiet and now I’m hooked.  Not for the beauty of the dancing but for the sheer horror of watching people crash and burn on live television.

Facing addiction is hard.  Dating someone new and having to face the skeletons in your closet is a hard thing and I honestly don’t know how to approach my dating life with this issue.  They say that admission is the first step to recovery so here we go.  My name is Ilana and I am addicted to reality television. Whew!  That was hard but I feel so much better and if I practice it a few times I will be able to share my shame with recycled man on Thursday night.

DWTS results show tonight!  I am hoping that Kelly Osbourne stays as she is my favorite.  I’m going to work on my addition and hope that I can come to peace with my reality television demons.  All I can do it keep the remote close by, thank the heavens for the invention of TIVO and keep the faith.