January 27, 2011 | 10:29 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
How many times have you been sitting around, paying bills, complaining about the cost of gas, coveting a pair of Louboutin shoes, eyeing a new car, or wishing you didn’t have to go work, when you thought to yourself, “I wish I had a million dollars?” I’ve done it before. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time I have wished for a million dollars, I would have a million dollars.
Craig Rowin is a 27 year old comedian, living in New York City, who did what we all think about. He posted a plea on YouTube for a millionaire to give him a million dollars. He shot a video and simply asked for the money. Brilliant in its simplicity, it’s a great video. He states he has no specific use for the money, he just wants a million dollars, and hopes someone gives it to him.
This kid is a genius. It’s a funny video, he is charming, has a great delivery, and clearly states he has no clue what he will do with the money. No promises of saving the world, or giving part of it to charity, he just wants it, and will figure out later what he to do with it. Brilliant. Maybe be can use part of it to get his eyebrows waxed.
The best part of the story is that it appears his video worked. Some guy named “Benjamin” contacted Rowin, and told him he would give him a million dollars. Just like that, this kid is going to be a millionaire. Outstanding. Rowin says on February 2nd, in New York City, at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, “Benjamin” is going to give him a million bucks.
Could this be true or just a ploy to get famous? Nobody knew who he was before the video, yet here he is, becoming an Internet sensation because of his chutzpah. This funny Jewish kid may have hit the jackpot by doing what everyone thinks about. He has his 15 minutes of fame and the bonus is that he’s really talented so with or without Benjamin, he’s on his way to a million.
Bravo Mr. Rowin. You have caught our attention and that is a great thing. You have inspired me to gather up my chutzpah and start asking for stuff that I want. Let’s start with George Clooney. If you are George Clooney, know George Clooney, or can get to George Clooney, tell him I love him and would like to have diner with him. I love you George.
His girlfriend can come. I’ll being my son as my date. Its not about a creepy fan situation like in Misery, it’s more of a enjoy your company, be near you, lean in and smell your hair when you are not looking, follow you to the restroom and wait for you kind of thing. Not creepy, just a girl, hanging out with a guy, who’s hanging out with his girl. Easy, breezy not at all weird.
In addition to my date with George, I would like a new car. Nothing fancy, just something new, that is all mine, and has no payment. I’m thinking I want a Honda CRV. Odd choice I guess if you are asking for something and can have anything, but that‘s my choice. And to be clear, I don’t want to go get it and have to talk to a douchelord car salesman, just bring me my new car.
Finally, I’m thinking I want some plastic surgery. I’m not sure what I would do, but it just seems to me it’s a cool thing to ask for. A little nip and tuck of this or that would be a great thing. Maybe it’s my fast approaching 45th birthday, or perhaps that I caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror this morning, but either way, plastic surgery is on my list so don’t judge.
I love a man with balls, and by balls of course I mean chutzpah, so I love you Craig Rowin. If I weren’t old enough to be your mother, I would totally ask you out, with or without the million dollars. By your mother of course I mean I would have had you as a teenager, but still it could be true, which is enough to stop me from asking you out, but I totally think you’re cute.
I hope Craig gets his million bucks, gets his eyebrows waxed, meets a great Jewish girl who is super funny, lives happily ever after with a television show, book deal, booking on Conan and his chutzpah as big and fabulous as it is now. As for George, my new car and nip and tuck, I’m hanging onto the dream, adjusting to the size of my new balls, and keeping the faith.
***UPDATE: IT WAS A HOAX. NO MILLION DOLLARS. BENJAMIN WAS AN ACTOR. EPIC FAIL.
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date.
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass.
5.11.13 at 12:44 pm | My Mom gets the day off because this one is on me.
5.9.13 at 4:10 pm | Love s certainly a game, but it does not need to. . .
5.7.13 at 7:41 pm | Some questions simply cannot be answered.
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass. (547)
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date. (329)
5.7.13 at 7:41 pm | Some questions simply cannot be answered. (143)
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